Property
by Afael Ishtar
Summary: Allen Walker has gone through a lot during his life, and when he gets bought by millionare, he is more than happy to leave his former owner behind. But everything isn't right. Why would Kanda Yuu buy him? Yullen/AU.
1. Chapter 1

And I wasn't supposed to start a new fic... But this has been poking me for too damn long to be ignored! So, I'm just going to give it a try.

**Warnings:** Whores (especially a certain albino), human trafficing, cursing, sex, probably some violence, sort of a master/slave -relationship and that kind of a stuff. It's also yaoi and Yullen, so if you don't like those two, back of now.

**Rating:** M (starting from third or fourth chapter)

**Pairing:** Yullen, maybe some other minor pairings later.

**Disclaimer:** Just thank the lord that I don't own DGM.

**EDIT/27.11.2012** Fixed the grammar mistakes and rewrote some of the worst parts. It's a bit better now.

XxX

**PROPERTY**

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**Chapter 1**

**The Delivery**

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With a quiet ping the elevator stopped at 81. floor and its polished, metallic doors slid open. Three men stepped in to the large entrance hall, the last one of them watching a white-haired teenager who was walking in front of him. The boy kept his eyes attentively on the floor and seemingly tried to look as tame as he could.

The quartet proceeded across the minimalistically decorated hall, past the empty secretarial desk and through a dark wooden door into a modern office, until they stopped right in front of oriental pair doors. The groomed American who was in the lead extended his hand to press the buzzer attached to the wall. It caused a voice recording to play out. A very short and rude one.

"_Your business?" _

The man leaned closer to the device while making a small gesture with his hand. The last one of the men, a rather large Latino, took a hold of the albino's shoulders and yanked him farther away from the door. The group's fourth member, a tanned youngster, shifted his weight from one leg to another and fixed his glasses.

"We have you're delivery, sir."

A soft click echoed clearly in the silent room as someone switched the recording off. Almost instantly cool – nearly cold – voice broke out, and it was obvious that the owner of it had also made the recording. The tone hadn't changed.

"_You're late."_

"We got stuck in the backlog", the American answered, forcing an apologizing grimace to his face. "Morning traffic surprised. In case you're in a hurry, I'd suggest we do this right away, sir."

"_Wait."_

It wasn't a request. Another click emanated from the device and the leader turned to look straight at the albino, who felt the grip on his shoulder tighten slightly. The glare pierced through the teenager even if the eyes were covered by a pair of sunglasses.

"You, brat – you stay quiet and don't cause any trouble at all. Answer politely if he asks something from you, and play your part without any mutters. Is that understood, boy?"

The "boy", one Allen Walker, even if he hadn't been called that for the last two years, nodded. The look on the man's face would've scared him five years ago when all of this had barely begun and he hadn't known the direction of the rest of his life. Now, however, it didn't have any effect. This man, who Allen only knew as Rodney, didn't really interest him – he was only a deliverer, not the one to decide about his life. Therefore he didn't mattered.

Instead the customer they were waiting _did_ matter, and life would be ten times easier to him if he acted right. And Allen didn't have any intentions of making problems on his first day – in his position, he just couldn't afford them.

He was here only to serve the customer.

The other half of the decorated doors opened, revealing a stern-looking Asian man with long dark hair that had been pulled up to a high ponytail. Rodney spun around quickly and drew an overly polite smile on his face, taking his sunglasses off. The Asian just eyed them skeptically before returning his gaze to the American in front of him.

There was a moment of silence as everyone waited for someone else to say something. The hold on Allen's shoulder tightened again, as if the Latino was expecting troubles, and Rodney's left hand twitched a bit. Only the dark-haired youngster stayed calm behind his glasses – besides the Asian, of course. Seconds seemed to stretch on and on, until Rodney finally opened his mouth to speak.

"Well, what if we take care of the payment now, if that's fine with you, sir. The delivery fills your requirements and, furthermore, the boy is used to the routines and knows how to behave."

Allen tore his gaze hurriedly away from the Asian man's face and laid it down as a pair of dark eyes turned to examine him. The man was probably in his early twenties, taller than him – though there wasn't anything to be surprised about that – and very confident. Even if the simple clothing spoke against it, Allen could tell that the man wasn't just some insignificant intermediate.

No, the Asian was the payer.

And he paid a lot. Allen had been told to put on clothes whose quality was better than anything else he had worn for three years, he had been given an ice pack for the bruise on his cheek before it had been covered with makeup, he had even had a chance to wash himself _properly_ – and above all, he had been brought to another country. All of it just for the sake of this man's order. Allen didn't even want to know how much money was being transferred in this trade – how much he cost this time.

"Look up."

Instinctively Allen raised his head when he heard the command, and almost answered to the man's gaze. Almost. Both reactions came from the subconscious, and he seriously doubted that he would ever be able to root them out of his behavior. Not that he even tried. Following commands without questioning anything – or at least keeping it completely inside – was simply protecting oneself from unnecessarily damage, and what came to looking in the eyes… He just couldn't throw away the last bits of his human dignity, not even if it meant something so petty as holding onto a common habit.

No matter how unconscious that habit might be.

The Asian's eyes surveyed him systematically, and even from the corner of his eye Allen could see how he frowned. It wasn't a good thing. It was _never_ a good thing. Luckily – or maybe not – he wasn't the only one who realized that the situation had taken a bad course.

"We can do nothing if the boy doesn't please. You didn't rise the standards about his looks very high, and what comes to the other qualifications he was the best available option", Rodney said, managing to somehow sound like both the town's leading drug lord and a salesman making the deal of his life.

The man turned his piercing gaze to the American, who suddenly seemed much more nervous than before and could only barely make himself answer to the look. Allen ignored Rodney and kept his attention on the customer – most likely his soon-to-be owner - , whose growing annoyance wasn't covered by the few tresses that had been left out of the ponytail. Despite the quickly deepening frown he had to note that the man wasn't all that bad looking.

At least he didn't have to give himself to someone physically unpleasant. Not that it mattered much.

Judging from everything Allen had learned during these couple of minutes, the Asian had either an abnormally bad day or his personality really wasn't the best possible. Both of the options could mean hell to him, and hell was the exact thing Allen was hoping to avoid. He had already gone through it once, and a second time didn't exactly sound appealing.

Somehow this felt like his typical luck again.

"The scar isn't the problem." The man didn't even look at the rough line that ran down Allen's left cheek. "You are."

"Excuse me?"

"Che. You're lying."

Allen had to admit that he was somewhat surprised. Or no, not surprised, it wasn't the best word to use – more like _curious_ about the millionaire's reaction. At least he thought the man was a one. Normally customers didn't start complaining about traffickers' insincerity unless it was related to the payment or the quality of the delivery. And his scar didn't bother the Asian, as he had clearly pointed out.

Once again the grip on Allen's shoulder tensed, telling him that the Latino was getting more nervous. He nearly rolled his eyes. What first timers were these? His escorts had always shown about as much of their emotions as rocks, and now the whole group nearly jumped from every word the Asian said. Seriously.

It was Rodney's turn to frown – though he was more confused than angry. "Lying? About what? He isn't an American, no one has searched for him in over three years and all of the other criteria you've placed are filled."

The man's eyes narrowed, and Allen didn't have time to even wince as that piercing glare turned to him. Praying for the non-existing god to stop things on their tracks before they went from bad to worse, he tried to keep his breathing – as well as his appearance – composed. Nevertheless both trembled when the Asian's hand suddenly grabbed a bundle of his hair, yanking his head up and forcing him to meet the other's annoyed glare.

"Age."

Allen stared, eyes wide and heart beating rapidly. Why did these things always happen to him? Why did _he_ get the customers who caused trouble? Why did they ask things from him when he _didn't know_ the answers? How the hell was he supposed to know what age group the man had wanted?!

The Asian's expression got couple of degrees darker and Allen realized that he had been hesitating a bit too long. Parting his lips and forcing his voice to function, he wished that the man forgot easily. Unforgiving was the worst type.

"Seventeen."

"Che. Lie."

Allen would've shaken his head if the hand on his head hadn't been holding him still. In stead he just made his eyes couple of millimeters wider and tried to look even more scared. It wasn't very hard. "No. I am seventeen."

The man stared at him right in the eyes for a moment longer, before swiftly yanking him out of the Latino's grasp. Head bent down Allen stumbled behind the man as he pulled him to the doors and forced him even lower. A simple sports bag was lying on the floor right inside the apartment.

"Take it."

He didn't need to ask what the other meant. Not wasting any time Allen obeyed, just barely having enough time to lift the bag before the man jerked him back to the office and pulled him up. Although it wasn't tender in anyway, he could take the pain rather easily.

"There, your payment. I don't have anymore time, so if you're going to count them, do it quickly."

The youngster who had stayed on the side during everything stepped closer and took the bag. Opening it's zipper he started systematically to count the money, and after a couple of moments he gave a nod to Rodney. The American smiled too sweetly, putting his sunglasses back on.

"It was pleasure to do business with you."

"Che."

Allen watched expressionlessly as the three men departed from the office. None of them looked back, and why should've they? It's not like they cared, and it's not like he had expected them to care. Things didn't work like that. So when he was once again pulled by his hair and dragged inside the apartment, he didn't let his composure falter. It changed nothing.

The Asian let go of him, disappearing further into the unfurnished hallway and leaving Allen behind. He stood on his tracks, thinking franticly. Just making the wrong decision between staying or following could cause something worse than unpleasant to happen to him. And his new owner didn't really appear to him as a very forgiving person. At least not right now.

Biting his bottom lip, Allen stared at the retreating back – covered by a plain white shirt – and hurried farther into the apartment as the man turned to another room. He paused at the doorway, head already bowed lightly down, and searched cautiously for any signs of displeasure or anger. The Asian, however, just bent down to pick something from the fridge.

"Name?" He didn't even glance up before asking, and Allen sighed in relief. Following had been the right choice.

"Allen."

"Age."

Still? The man really didn't believe him. "Seventeen."

"Che. How long?"

Allen blinked as the man straightened up and turned around to face him. Feeling nervous, he swallowed with some difficulty. "Excuse me? I…I don't understand what you mean."

His current owner frowned, getting seemingly more annoyed. "How fucking long have you done this?" the man asked with a scowl, lips pressed to a thin line.

"Five years."

"How many owners have you had?"

"Six", Allen answered forcing his voice to stay neutral. He didn't get what the other was aiming at. Why did the Asian want to know? Nothing that had happened in the past should concern him as long as Allen behaved like the man wished.

"Which countries?"

Which_ countries_? Why did he ask _that_? This interrogation just kept getting weirder and weirder, and he had no other choice but to answer. "Italy, India and China."

"With who?"

Allen's gaze flickered up to the man's dark eyes, and he could hardly stop himself from staring at the other in blatant confusion and disbelief. He didn't understand this. Was the man seriously asking names? "W…with who?" The question was barely any stronger than a whisper.

Dark eyebrows furrowed even more, almost touching each others, and with just a little bit of an imagination he could hear the Asian gritting his teeth. Allen swallowed again and lowered his eyes back to the expensive carpet underneath his feet, opening his mouth. Why was everything going so _wrong_?

"I…I'm sorry. I…" He inhaled shakily and shut his eyes for a moment. "Do you mean names or…?" Wishing anything, absolutely anything else than _names_, Allen forced himself to stay put and _wait_.

"Che. Should've know that the obedient one was also the idiot", the Asian mocked with a cold voice as he begun to walk towards him, pace ominously even. "_With who_? Occasional customers? Your owners? Other fucking whores?" The man's tone was almost murderous as he stopped right in front of Allen, bending down fractionally. "Well? Answer, damn it!"

"Only with my owners."

Without a warning the other's hand was in his hair again, yanking his head up. The black glare cut into his eyes, leaving Allen with no other choice than to look back and hold onto his falling facade. Vague intuition told him that his new owner wouldn't like it if he acted too weak – though, the man wouldn't probably like it either if he was too confident. Allen tried to breath as steadily as he could.

"So you weren't a common whore?"

"No."

"Good", the Asian snapped to him, shoving him backwards. His voice wasn't happy at all. "Then you should have at least _some_ sense of manners, no matter how fucking brainless son of a bitch you are."

Allen lowered his gaze to his feet. It seemed like he was going to face continuously more mocking and had no way to tell which were the right moves to avoid it. He had to stay on guard; bad terms with the long-haired man were the last thing he wanted.

"Rules are simple", the Asian stated, apparently trying to kill him with his eyes. "You don't touch my things without a fucking permission, disturb me, try to leave this apartment or make a call. If you cause any trouble, you suffer from it. Is that clear?"

"Yes."

"Che. You sleep in the room at the end of the corridor and you fucking _stay_ there, if there isn't any reason to do otherwise." The man stopped for a second to take in Allen's outfit. His eyes narrowed. "And change your clothes. Those are disgusting."

"Yes", he answered even though the Asian hadn't actually asked anything. Glancing critically at his clothing Allen attempted to perceive his owners taste. Shorts and one-sleeved shirts were out of question then. Or maybe it was the girly style. Hard to say. He raised his eyes up and saw the man walking back to the kitchen area. Talking appeared to be over. Intending to find his room, since staying on his tracks wasn't the best idea, Allen took the first step before coming to an abrupt halt.

He didn't know the Asian's name.

He didn't know how the man wanted to be called.

Bad thing.

Gray eyes fixed their gaze to the black tresses that were swaying against the white dress shirt. Lump in the throat made breathing difficult and hands clenched to tight fits. Teeth sunk into the bottom lip.

He didn't want another hell.

"Ex…excuse me? May I… ask something?"

The man turned halfway around, glaring at him with angry eyes. "What?" he snapped, clearly loosing his patience.

"How would you like to be called?" Allen could hardly force the words out of his mouth and for a moment there was only silence.

"Kanda."


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, don't expect the third chapter this soon since this one was nearly ready, when I post the first chapter. But I try to keep the updates as short as possible.

And thanks for **XDchan**, he's betaing this.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

**~XxX~**

**Chapter 2**

**Cop**

**~XxX~**

It was already bright when Allen woke up. The room he had been given was filled with sunlight that shone through the large windows and burned in his eyes as he tried to open them. Yawning he rolled to the other side of the queen sized bed before pushing himself up into a sitting position.

Metallic, simple furnishings greeted him with a nonchalant appearance, and Allen stared back at the room with an expression that mirrored it perfectly. Every single color in the room was in some aspect of black, gray or white making the space look pale and lifeless despite the warm sunshine. It wasn't technically bleak -- not really – he was just so used to shades like red, orange and purple that it irked his eyes to see something so… _modern_.

But all in all it was rather elegant, and even if Kanda's apartment was quite large and undeniably luxurious Allen had been – and still was – rather surprised to find out that the man actually let him use one of the best guestrooms. Yes, he had lived in mansions and other glorious places like that, but mostly his owners had either given him some little closet somewhere or their own bedroom.

Well, there always _were_ exceptions.

Though they were fairly rare.

Another thing that had stood out – maybe not so much but Allen had noted it anyway – was the fact that Kanda hadn't touched him at all after explaining the rules. Heck, he hadn't even _looked_ like he wanted to use him. Everything the man had done had been strictly decent, almost formal – as if he had been at work. Excluding his language and attitude.

Maybe it was just his personality.

Shaking his head Allen got up and walked to the closet. He needed to change his black pajamas to something else since Kanda didn't want to see him wondering around wearing an improper outfit. It annoyed him. Or so the man claimed. Not that he complained, having trousers and long-sleeved shirts was pretty nice after years of shorts, tops and other more revealing stuff like that.

But then again, he never complained anyway.

'Cause there really wasn't so much to choose from, Allen ended up picking whatever just happened to be the first thing his hands touched. He avoided looking at his reflection in the large full-length mirror until he was properly dressed, and only after then he let himself examine the image that was reflected in the glass.

Well, his hair was a mess but that wasn't really a problem since Kanda had given a comb to him yesterday, among some other supplies he needed. It was the bruise on his cheek that worried him – apparently his newest owner didn't see any reason to give him cosmetics. Though it wasn't a big surprise – why would the Asian grant him with stuff like that, when he hadn't liked his girly clothing either?

Picking up the comb Allen started brushing his hair. Hopefully Kanda wouldn't mind too much, because there really wasn't anything he could do about the matter – except trying to cover the bruise with his hair. And that would hardly work. Nevertheless, he should just push the issue aside, wallowing in it wouldn't help anyway.

Personal surviving method number 1: Keep an eye on your surroundings.

And wallowing in absolutely _anything_ would be distracting him from that task.

Sighing quietly Allen finished brushing his hair and put the comb down. He should probably make his bed and fold the pajamas since Kanda seemed to be somewhat keen on keeping things in order. And – as they say – when in Rome, do as the Romans do. That was something he followed precisely.

Even if the first day was over, Allen wasn't planning on letting himself make any mistakes. There were absolutely no guarantees what his owner might do, if he somehow disobeyed or irritated him, and it didn't matter whether or not it had been unintentional. As long as he didn't know Kanda well enough to be sure of his actions, he needed to be careful.

So he fixed up the room – which didn't take long – gazed briefly at the New York City skyline beyond the windows and left the room. However, once in the corridor Allen stopped. Glancing at both directions he bit his lower lip while listening intently. Not a sound, absolutely nothing. Maybe Kanda was still sleeping. And going to the bathroom wasn't an unnecessary cause, was it?

Hopefully the Asian would agree.

Inhaling deeply he continued along the hall, gray eyes analyzing everything they encountered. Images of the organized, decent and controlled person kept increasing and Allen couldn't help but wonder, why on earth would the man have wanted to buy a pet? It didn't fit in very well.

Then again, there were tons of reasons why he _would_ have wanted to if he thought about it a little more. Not everyone had obvious and transparent motives, and one day was worth next to nothing when it came to knowing people. Yes, first impressions _were_ important – especially to Allen himself, since that affected his owners' opinions the most – but it didn't always tell the truth.

Therefore Kanda's behavior yesterday predicted nothing. He could still end up being beaten for some incredibly little thing like blinking at the wrong moment.

And, once again, there was nothing he could do about it.

Walking past the doorway that lead to the large open kitchen Allen yawned silently. The dim light of the hallway emphasized the dull silence lingering in the air, and for a second he let himself just stare at the front door as he approached it leisurely. He was vaguely sure that there was another bathroom somewhere in the apartment besides the one near the entry – that one wasn't big enough to be the only one.

"Oi, what the fuck are you doing here?"

Startled slightly, Allen came to a halt and turned his head in the direction of the voice. His eyes landed on a shirtless Kanda sitting on the floor of the virtually empty room, glaring at him with an expression he couldn't fully read. Quickly he lowered his head, automatically finding the most submissive possible pose that still suited the situation without seeming too constrained.

"I was going to bathroom."

Kanda scowled, plainly irritated. "Well you fuckin' disturbed me. Can't you even fucking walk without causing such a fucking racket? Che, brat."

"I'm sorry. I'll be more careful. This won't happen again." Apologies dripped easily from Allen's tongue, words keeping the correct space and tone, but inside he was scolding himself. How the hell hadn't he noticed the man? Jesus, no mistakes! No _mistakes_!

"Che." Kanda snorted while getting up. When Allen didn't move he gave him annoyed glare. "What the hell are you still standing there? Go for fuck's sake!"

"Yes", he muttered reaching the bathroom's door in a couple of strides and stepping in. Turning on the faucet he let himself lean against the wall awhile, sorting out his thoughts before starting his other crucial tasks. Delaying never worked anyway.

Kanda was sitting on one of the couches when Allen passed the doorway, watching the news as it seemed. He was rather hungry despite the food he'd eaten the night before, but he decided not to ask. Bothering the Asian wouldn't be very good idea.

Kanda, however, wasn't planning on letting him go just yet.

"Get over here, brat."

Allen complied, stopping right next to the man. Dark eyes rose to analyze him and there was couple seconds of silence, which was broken by a loud TV commercial. He stayed still, not flinching or blinking, just letting Kanda look at him as long as he wanted. Finally the Asian leant back and let his gaze drift away from his body.

"Is there anything I need to know about you? Allergy or something?" The tone was surprisingly nonchalant. At least compared to previous ones.

"Just occasional anemia", Allen replied. It wouldn't hurt to tell him that would it?

"Che. Fucking wimp. Where did you get that bruise?"

"One of the traffickers hit me." Bland voice, bland expression.

Kanda's eyebrow twitched for some reason. "There's breakfast on the table, eat. After you're done that go to your room and don't come out unless I call you."

"Yes."

Well, at least it was simple.

~XxX~

He was sitting on an old swing. It screeched in the wind that blew gray dust and creaked as he shifted. The playground around him extended out into the distance, all of the other children were laughing, lying on the ground far away from him. He didn't understand why they were so happy when sky was so dull and deserted. Maybe they were stupid. Maybe they were blind. Or maybe they were both.

Soft steps made the children vanish, made the smiles vanish. There was a very feeble shade of orange in the sky and he looked at it. It reminded him of cats, but he didn't know why. Cats didn't matter, cats were negligible, they didn't decide anything. Where had he learned the word 'negligible'? He didn't remember. Maybe from cats.

Some man was talking to him. He didn't listen; the bench underneath him was more interesting. There were words carved onto it. 'Daddy' and 'Mommy' and something that looked like 'freek', 'frend' and 'me'. Someone had also written with neat handwriting 'girl', 'Lena' and 'brother'. He moved his hand and saw another one. 'Ma-'

His shoulder was grabbed.

Allen's eyes shot open and focused to a face hovering above him. Dark eyes stared back at him and a somewhat irritated frown lingered on the graceful features. Strands of hair swayed a little, tickling his cheek lightly as he lied dead still, holding his breath. This man was… his owner. Yes, his owner. Kanda.

"Yes?"

A hand was pulled away from him.

"Get up if you want to eat."

Nodding Allen sat up. Not that the Asian bothered waiting for his answer – he was out of the door before the teen's feet touched the floor. The clock on the nightstand told him it was six in the morning, which somewhat surprised him. Yesterday he had slept till ten without any interruptions. On the other hand, it had been Sunday yesterday so he guessed it was understandable. Kanda probably had business to take care of.

Not wasting anymore time Allen got dressed, left the room and headed after his owner. The hallway was completely in the dark, the only source of light was a faint glow from the large open kitchen. The lack of light didn't hinder him seeing as there was no furniture to trip over and his stability had gotten better during past five years. Clumsiness wasn't sexy in most cases. He had learned that the hard way. Just like he had learned pretty much everything.

But that way things didn't tend to be forgotten.

Quietly Allen slipped into the large room, heading towards the dining table that was placed in the middle of the kitchen. Kanda was already sitting on a chair, reading newspaper and drinking tea, a bored expression decorating his features. Allen took a seat while keeping his eyes locked cautiously on the older man, but Kanda didn't even raise his gaze. Feeling a little more confident he started to eat.

Neither of them said anything even if the silence seemed to be getting somewhat heavy as the minutes passed by. That little fraction of assurance Allen had had fluttered and faded away, having been replaced by nervously flapping butterflies. He could feel cold sweat gathering on his hands. Something was wrong. His instincts were telling him to run and hide.

But nothing was visibly out of place. Kanda kept reading the newspaper, completely oblivious to the atmosphere, hands relaxed and firm, taking a sip of his tea every once in while. Allen glanced around the room tentatively before fixing his gaze back on the Asian. His face was calm, frown gone for a change, eyes blank and jaw…

Wait.

Blank eyes.

Oh shit.

Kanda flipped the last page and after a brief glance pushed the paper aside. With a start Allen realized that he was staring and quickly averted his eyes away from the other. He didn't want to annoy the man, especially when he couldn't tell for sure what was his mood was right now. There was something odd about the Asian.

He just couldn't pinpoint what it was.

A teacup was placed on the table – in a very obtrusive manner.

"Listen now, Moyashi. I have some things to do so I won't be back till late this evening," Kanda started, sounding strained and little bit irritated. "If you try anything, if you cause a one fucking problem, I'll make you fucking regret your parents ever ended up in the same god forsaken town. Is that clear?"

Allen raised his head a bit, to show that he was listening, and nodded.

"Clear."

"Good," Kanda scoffed. "And just incase you like lying, Moyashi, neither the door nor the phone will work without number codes – which you don't fuckin' know – and screaming is useless, since the only one who's going to hear you, is yourself."

"Understood." Moyashi? He had been called many things – most of them somewhere between sweetie and bitch – but honestly, a bean sprout? He wasn't _that_ short.

"Oh really, you think?" The mockery in the Japanese's voice just grew. "Lets see if I'll need to put you back in your place when I come back, shall we? Have a nice fucking day, _Moyashi_."

Allen didn't even blink as Kanda stood up and left the room. Silently he sat there, listening how his owner took some things from the entry, opened the door and then slammed it close with a rather loud bang. Minutes passed as he stayed still, silently breathing and staring at the table.

Then he got up and cleared the table.

Well, no explosion. And he had really been expecting one.

It was his second morning and still there was no sign of harassment. Not even one perverted look. Nothing, absolutely nothing. None, zero, nil. He could understand if Kanda made him do other tasks like household chores or working somewhere– like Cross had done – but no, he was just sitting and waiting. Of course, the reason would reveal itself sooner or later. He just didn't like surprises, they put him of balance and whenever that happened, he started making mistakes.

And mistakes never meant anything good.

Sighing Allen ran a hand through his messy hair. He should probably wash the dishes even if Kanda hadn't said anything about doing them. He wouldn't get mad at that, would he? Not likely, but he should stay away from the dishwasher anyway. After all, he wasn't allowed to touch Kanda's belongings.

He took off his gloves, wondering absently why the man hadn't asked about them already, and stared at the scarred skin for a moment. Memories resurfaced forcing Allen to tear his eyes away from his left hand, as a sickening lump rose in his throat. He felt like vomiting.

What had he done to deserve this life?

Shaking his head Allen leant against the counter and inhaled shakily. No, he couldn't start with this again, he just couldn't. 'Cause if he did, it would rip him apart, and that was something among those thousands of things he couldn't afford. Giving up now wasn't an option. He needed to fight and he needed to fight hard. That was the only way.

There was no other.

"Don't stop walking. Keep moving forward."

No other.

~XxX~

"Four dollars, please."

Handing the money to a rather pretty waitress, Lenalee Lee picked up her snacks and headed towards the corner table. _White Coffee Shop_, her regular café place, was quite empty at the moment since it wasn't lunchtime yet and most people were at work. Her own shift would begin at eleven, so there was still plenty of time before anyone would start expecting her to show up.

It was a perfect opportunity to sneak away from her brother and go shopping.

Except she had forgotten her wallet at home. So now, after using what little she had found at the bottom of her handbag, Lenalee was trying to come up with something to pass her time. There just didn't seem to be anything to do.

Going back home wasn't very rational, since she wouldn't be able to get to work in time if she walked all the way to their apartment. And without any money, shopping was out of question too – downtown was no fun if you couldn't buy anything. So the only options left were either wandering around or calling someone.

And 'cause Lenalee very firmly believed that a lonely girl _wandering around_ _alone_ was a huge trouble magnet, she started searching for her phone.

After a long minute and many unladylike mutters the pink device emerged from the depths of her bag, making her grin triumphantly. Honestly, sometimes things that she had tossed into the handbag simply vanished – they just _weren't there_ no matter how long she looked for them. Alternatively there were also times, when she found something that shouldn't be in there.

Maybe Komui had created a wormhole during one of his experiments.

Pushing the issue of the item-eating handbag aside, Lenalee flipped the cell phone open. Surprisingly all of the calls she had received during last two hours weren't only from her brother – who was probably freaking out right now – but also Miranda and Daisya had tried to catch her. And…

Lavi.

Lenalee frowned. They weren't supposed to talk to each other anywhere, besides the video rental place. It could endanger the whole mission and Lavi knew that. So what could make the redhead call her, and not just wait till evening so he could give her the information like normal? Unless it was an emergency. She bit her lip and started dialing.

Lavi would _so_ get his ass kicked if this was just a joke.

…

"-lars and ninety cents… Thanks! Come again! - So Miss, what's up?"

"I was hoping you could tell me that, Lavi."

Yes, Lenalee Lee was a cop. She was part of a branch that dealt with underground trafficking - her job in particular went after human traffickers.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, I'm surprised that this one is ready this soon. But I'm going to back to school (where the hell did the summer go?!) so... Well I hope this won't slow down too much. And thanks to XDchan for betaing.

**Disclaimer:** Nope, I don't own DGM. This is just for laughs.

**~XxX~**

**Chapter 3**

**Hate**

**~XxX~**

"Che, fine…"

"_You know this is depending on you-"_

"Yes! So shut up already, will you!"

_"Yu-kun-"_

"Don't fucking call me that!"

The traffic lights turned from green to red and the black car came to an abrupt halt, breaks screeching. A couple of passersby turned to look, including a biker who crashed to a street lamp, and a grumpy old woman, screaming insults at the driver.

"Shut up, you fucking retarded hag!"

_"Yu-kun, how could you say something like that to your father?! I'm deeply-"_

"You're not my fucking father! And I wasn't talking to you!"

_"Now, now, it's no use to deny the facts, dear Yu-"_

"How many fucking times do I have to tell you: Don't. Call. Me. That!"

"_Yes, yes. I understand, my son. But-"_

"I am not your son, old geezer!"

_"-you need to concentrate."_

Gritting his teeth Kanda inhaled deeply, trying to not to cause a chain collision. Of course Tiedoll was right, he couldn't start slacking off now. Though he would never say that out loud.

"If you don't have anything more important to say, I'm going to hang up."

_"Ah, yes. Miss Lee and Bookman Jr. have started to act. Be careful."_

"I don't need a babysitter."

_"Of course you don't, Yu-kun."_

"Che. You better not to call me again, if you're just going to fucking gossip and chat."

"_Yes, yes. I know how you-"_

Kanda hung up.

Fucking idiot. He was a fucking idiot. Why did he take this job in the first place? Oh yeah, so that they wouldn't be on his back for the rest of his fucking life. Bastards, blackmailing him into this mess. He hated this, he hated this so much. And those two idiots were just making everything even more difficult.

The world was filled with morons.

~XxX~

Allen's foot touched the floor and slowly he straightened the other leg still up in the air. Then, pace remaining even, he started bending backwards, all the way down until his white hair was nearly touching the carpet and his free leg pointed towards the ceiling. Keeping that position for a couple of seconds, Allen breathed deeply before placing his hands on the floor and pushing himself up.

It was six in the afternoon. He had been practicing for three hours now.

Wiping his forehead of sweat Allen sat down on the mat and stretched forward, lightly touching the tip of his toes. Then he changed the stance he was in, easily doing the splits. Bending forward he reached for the headboard before shifting again.

This was a hobby of his, the only one he had, and even so he wasn't usually able to train due to all of the bruises. But he still liked to hold on to the habit, since it was something he had been doing even before his new life – which wasn't that new anymore – and, moreover, something that Mana had encouraged him into. So, every once in a while he did some acrobatics, just for the fun of it – after all it was somewhat unlikely that he would get fat or anything.

His owner – whoever it happened to be at the moment – sure as hell wouldn't let that happen. Seriously.

Allen got up from the floor, satisfied by his flexibility, and left the room heading to the bathroom. Since he didn't know exactly when Kanda would come back, it was better to get himself in order early so the man couldn't complain about his outfit. Well, he _could_ but Allen wasn't going to give him a _reason_ to.

Closing – though not locking – the door behind him, the boy started to undress. Kanda had given him a permission to take a shower whenever he felt like it, provided he didn't dawdle there all day long. Even if he felt little… grateful, it hadn't been a reward or anything like that – the Japanese had seemingly thought it was obvious, judging by his face when Allen had asked if he could wash.

But anyway, he really did like the liberty of deciding _something_ independently.

Tossing the dirty clothes in the black laundry basket next to the low, metallic bench he pulled the ornamental shower curtain aside, stepped under the spout and turned on the faucet. Hot water poured down onto him relaxing his slightly tense muscles in a very enjoyable way. Sighing contently he let himself lean against the wall.

Four days. He had lived here four days – or three if you didn't count the day when he was bought – and so far everything had gone just fine. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad this time. Yeah, Kanda surely was a grumpy and puzzling bastard but he seemed to like verbal attacks more than physical.

And no, Allen wasn't cherishing false hopes. He _knew_ that the unpleasant and painful times would come sooner or later, they always did. He _would_ end up lying in agony and despair, staring blankly at nothing and wishing he still knew how to cry. But that was just misery –he could take it. He could take anything as long as he wouldn't be forced through another living hell.

A wicked grin flashed across his mind.

The sudden memory startled Allen and he nearly slipped. Deciding hastily that he had been standing under the water long enough, he turned off the shower. Fumbling for the black towel he tried to banish the reminiscence. He sure as hell didn't want to think about it. Even Cross was better subject.

That unbelievable bastard who he feared like no tomorrow. Though it was rather weird that the man had never made him sleep with anybody else – the only thing Allen wasn't allowed to do in order to pay his debts. And he was supposed to be a jackass.

Hanging on to that trace of thoughts he started repeating different memories from the time he had belonged to the womanizer, all the while drying himself in haste. It actually worked so well he didn't at first realize that he hadn't taken any clean clothes with him. Heaving out an exasperated sigh Allen wrapped the towel around himself and sneaked out into the empty hallway.

The apartment was somewhat odd – like what the hell was the empty room right after the bathroom for? There were two doors leading to other parts of the apartment, though Kanda didn't seem to use them too much – Allen didn't even know where they lead to. But the most disturbing thing was the… atmosphere… of the place; it didn't feel like someone lived here.

It didn't feel like the apartment was Kanda's home.

But those were all just speculations. Maybe the man had just moved here.

And why was he thinking about it anyway? It wasn't as if the issue concerned him, quite the opposite – sticking your nose to places where it definitely didn't belong was simply stupidity at its best. Even better was his natural and nearly insatiable curiosity. But life teaches in one way or another.

Allen passed the sliding door that led to the small library – as he had discovered yesterday – and reached the door to his own room. Stepping in he tightened his hold of the black cloth around him and made sure not to look at the mirror while getting dressed. Black trousers a little too large and a white dress shirt; an exact copy of his earlier outfit. There really wasn't anything else to wear – just some black, oversized T-shirt and pair of jeans. It was fine, though.

Sitting down on a white sofa at the opposite side of the room far from where the bed was, Allen let his eyes close and thoughts drift away from the skyscraper. Unconsciously he relaxed, head bending backwards and leaning against the back of the couch. He was actually starting to slowly feel rather comfortable, a warm, cozy sensation overwhelming him, when a loud bang from the entry threw him forcefully back to reality.

Kanda was back.

Snatching the towel Allen sat up and walked to the door. He found Kanda in the hallway, taking off his jacket while muttering some curses under his breath. The man looked even more pissed off than yesterday, which was already an achievement on its own. As Allen looked at the long-haired Japanese his eyes spotted a slim object that had been placed carefully against the wall.

Almost agonizingly slowly his mind recognized the item. It was ridiculous – he had seen so many of them that he could probably tell not only its design but also its age, and still his brains didn't want to admit the truth.

He swallowed.

A katana.

_Shit._

"And just why the hell are you standing there?"

Allen flinched, instantly lowering his gaze to the black carpet. He hadn't meant to attract Kanda's attention, not too much at least. It was better to stay unseen and invisible, since the man was nearly always in bad mood.

"I…I was just going to return the towel back to the bathroom."

Kanda frowned, clearly irritated. "Then why the fuck aren't you moving?"

"Um… I'm sorry", he simply said, figuring that the Japanese didn't really expect an answer. When the other's scowl became even more intense Allen jerked forward, quickly walking to the bathroom's door. That made the man let out an annoyed sigh.

"Come to the kitchen."

He wondered what had happened to make Kanda that stressed.

~XxX~

It was eight o'clock.

Vermilion light filtered through the windows, painting the white walls with faint shade of orange and bright reds that illuminated every surface in the large room. The TV was off; the constant ticking of the clock echoing in the silent room. Nothing moved – nothing dared to move – it was like the time itself had stopped flowing and wrapped a spell over the apartment, freezing everything and isolating the apartment in its own little world.

The silence had lasted nearly half an hour.

Allen fought the urge to fidget in his seat. He was trying his best to breathe as quietly as possible so as not to attract any attention. However, nervousness was slowly getting the better of him.

A ray of waning sunlight flickered over the low glass table.

"Say, Moyashi-" Kanda started without warning, making him jump slightly. "-where did you live before you got abducted?"

Allen stared.

…

What?

"Whe…where…?" His head wasn't completely functioning. The sudden question took him by surprise, and for a couple of seconds he didn't even understand what Kanda had asked.

"Yes, _where_. Is there something unclear in the question?" The irritation was mixed with stress. Allen swallowed, finally gaining the control of his voice.

"I…in London."

"Che. Thought so, your accent is horrible", the man stated like it was nothing, all the while looking out the window. A sparkle of annoyance flew across the boy's mind, something that hadn't happened for a long time. Honestly, did his owner have no manners at all?

"You freaking Brits are such a nuisance."

And now he was insulting everyone who lived in Britain? What had _they_ done to him?

"Can't even fight properly."

Allen nearly rolled his eyes. Just what did that have to do with anything? He was very seriously starting to doubt that the Japanese was virtually unable to compose anything else than insults. Insults and senseless questions.

"Weaklings. And you're a perfect example."

Before he could refrain himself, Allen had knitted his brows in a half confused, half vexed expression and glanced at Kanda. Though the look disappeared as soon as he understood what he was doing. Thank God – or whatever higher force that might be watching them – that the dark-haired man hadn't noticed the countenance.

"Che. You probably walked right to your kidnappers and did nothing to fight back", Kanda went on, mockery clear in his voice. This time, however, Allen didn't keep his mouth shut but answered with a meek tone.

"I was knocked out."

"Oh, really?" the Japanese jeered. "Well, who would've thought? Tell me, did they drug you too? Or did you just act nice and tame and go along with it?"

He swallowed the sarcasm bubbling in his throat and kept his calm – getting provoked wouldn't do any good. "Yes, they drugged me for the first three or four days. Until we were out of Britain."

"And after that?" Kanda continued not changing the cord of his voice. "Did you even tried to escape? Che. Why do I even bother? You're just a fuckin' wimpy brat, not worth any interest."

Allen glanced at the other, considering whether or not he should reply regardless of Kanda's last comment. When the man didn't say anything else, he opened his mouth. "I tried to get away. Twice."

"Che." Kanda shifted on the couch, one hand hanging over the edge. "And what was so fucking horrible that it prevented you from trying again, Moyashi?" God, did he ever stop scoffing? Honestly…

"They beat me up."

The man let out some sort of a snort. "Beat you up?" He repeated obviously amused. Then he turned over and stared straight to Allen, his expression was everything but cheerful. "I wonder, how badly they actually did it? 'Cause if you fucking try to escape from here, I promise you won't even think about doing it again." Dark eyes glinted threateningly.

The boy winced, lowering his gaze. "I've learnt my lesson long ago", he stated quietly. "I'm not going to run away. It would be just in vain."

"Well I'm surprised, the little brat actually have enough brains to understand the obvious", Kanda mused sarcastically, nearly cruel smirk on his lips. Still, there was something in his gaze… something that Allen couldn't quite catch – something that never disappeared even if other ones changed.

"Tell me, what do you hate most in your life, Moyashi?"

He blinked, dumbfounded by the sudden change of topic. However, soon the surprise turned to anxiety, making him swallow uneasily. What ever the motives – or the consequences – were, he had to answer. Hopefully it wouldn't be too bad. "I… that I'm… lonely." A lie, but who would've been expecting him to tell the truth?

Unfortunately, Kanda was.

"Don't lie to me", he growled sitting up properly.

"I'm not lying. I hate it when I'm alone", Allen kept going, having no intentions to confess the deceit. "When there's no one…"

And then Kanda was in front of him, grabbing him by the collar and lifting him up. "I thought I told you not to fucking lie. Or are you goddamn deaf?"

"It- It's not a lie…"

"Not a lie?" the man mocked, dark orbs glittering dangerously. "Well listen close. No one, absolutely no one whines about fucking loneliness if they're in a position like yours. So don't you pull that shit on me. Now spit it out!"

Allen forced the panic attack to withdraw, trying to think of a good reason. Ideas ran through his head, none of them good enough and he could see Kanda growing impatient by his silence. "O-okay, okay!" he spat out, settling upon the first option that popped up. If the liar was sufficiently competent, it didn't matter what he actually said. And lying was what he did best. "It's the… weakness… inability… that I'm caged. That I have to-"

"_Don't_ fuck with me."

"No, no! Really! I'm not lying!" Allen stumbled over the words hastily, letting himself drown in to the act. "I can take insults, pain, humiliation – everything! But I hate it; I just hate it when I can't decide anything. I hate that I'm completely under someone else's will. Everything in my life depends on the person I belong to." He inhaled swiftly, closing his eyes as if defeated and whispered feebly: "I hate it that I'm just an object."

There was a silence as he waited for the skies to fall down. They didn't.

Instead Kanda kissed him.

Roughly.

~XxX~

For some reason, I personaly don't like this chapter so much - but what the hell, hope you do. Yeah, and there's going to be some graphic stuff in the next one. Please, review.


	4. Chapter 4

Right, this is closer to the usual delay between chapters. I'm hoping to keep this up at least until the first exams start. And sorry for not answering to all of the reviews, I'm blaming the school. And thanks for **XDchan **for betaing this.

**Warnings:** Graphic sex (I'n not really sure how those lemons and limes are specified, so I don't know which term to use) and weird behavior.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the DGM, I'm just a simple fan with some not-so-simple ideas in my wicked head.

**~XxX~**

**Chapter 4**

**From Pleasure To Pain**

**~XxX~**

Kanda tasted like lemon and mint.

And that was the last conscious thought Allen had before his mind clicked into autopilot.

So as the said Japanese man bit down his lower lip he opened his mouth, allowing the damp tongue slid inside and brushing tentatively against it with his own. Kanda answered almost forcefully, grasping strands of his white hair, pulling him closer with uncontrolled yanks. His hands held Allen by the back of his neck, and that iron grip prevented any escape.

But he wasn't fighting back. No, he was molding himself to every move the Japanese made, answering delicately, all the while trying to figure out how he was supposed to act. 'Cause it wasn't his will or desires that mattered now, nothing he wished was important – if Kanda wanted to break his bones, he would break them and Allen would scream only if the man liked to hear his voice.

Though it didn't seem like the Japanese intended to hurt him that badly.

Those hands glided down to his elbows touching him rather roughly and then he was shoved backwards. Colliding with the sofa he lost his balance, falling on the furniture with a silent thud. The next second Kanda was hovering above him, strange glint in his eyes as he leant closer and kissed him again. Without thinking Allen answered gently, letting the man take the lead while he himself simply laid there, under the taller male.

One last cracked kiss before he felt a dull pain in his neck announcing that his owner had found something else to entertain himself with. He didn't complain, just cocked his head to side so Kanda had more room to do whatever he wanted to do. Teeth changed to lips and then tongue started slowly draw wet circles on his skin, all the way down to his collarbone, a little impatient but not so harsh anymore.

And surprisingly enough, it felt good.

Unconsciously Allen closed his eyes, soft gasp fleeing from his lips as Kanda's wandering hands brushed momentarily against his chest, lightly rubbing his skin through the fabric before slipping under the shirt. He was slowly starting to feel hot and that was somewhat new feeling – none of his owners had ever been too fond on foreplay if they didn't include some pretty twisted fantasies, so he hadn't really enjoyed any of the things they'd done to him.

But as Kanda sunk his teeth to the boy's neck, tracing small, slow circles on his sides and bringing his knee up against his groin, Allen couldn't help the shaky gasps leaving his lips. Coming to a conclusion he tilted his head lightly backwards, letting the man saw all the pleasure he was feeling due to his touch. It wasn't considered act since he was functioning only by his instincts but he was fairly sure that was what the Japanese wanted.

And he seemed to be right.

Kanda withdrew for a moment, gazing at the boy briefly before pulling him into another kiss. He started unbuttoning the white shirt, all the time devouring Allen's lips as if trying to drown in to the action. The albino just pushed himself up from the couch, wriggling a little to get his arms free from the sleeves and wrapped the right one around Kanda's neck, deepening the kiss carefully. He was hoping that the man wouldn't notice how he looked without the cloth.

It was a futile hope, though.

Kanda broke the kiss pushing Allen down on his back, intending to move further south when his dark eyes finally registered what his tactile sense had missed. Ceasing the movement of his hands the Japanese stopped to stare at his embroidered upper body covered by scars, some of them only nearly visible while some were crude, ragged and all too clear to see. That black gaze drifted from his navel, up to his chest until coming to a halt when it reached his left arm.

The only sound was their heavy pants.

Allen could feel suffocating lump rising in his throat as Kanda kept observing him, an unreadable expression once again decorating his features. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, the man stretched out his hand and cautiously caressed the scarred skin, running his fingers over the boy's chest leisurely. And then he bent down, planting a wet kiss on his navel.

Gasping Allen relaxed to Kanda's touch, the tension easing from his muscles. He let his eyes fall shut, enjoying how the warm stream inside of him started flowing once again when the man wandered lower, leaving sloppy kisses behind. He didn't really understand how aroused he was until the man placed another one of his hands on the very visible bulge between his legs and _pressed_.

"A-aah…"

There was nothing Allen could do to stop the whimper, or the one that followed as Kanda started rubbing him with slow, circling motions that made his head spin. God, he knew that sex could be nice if you were treated right, but _knowing_ was rather far from _feeling_. And right now he was really enjoying the 'feeling' part of it.

Kanda brought his other hand between Allen's legs, teasing him as he slid it up the boy's inner thigh. The tingling on his skin grew, making him itch and nearly squirm. Slim fingers sneaked under the waistline of his trousers, tempting him to move so they would grace his hardness and ease of some of that heat building up inside of him. In the end Allen just swallowed, squinting his eyes shut and bit his bottom lip.

Not that it prevented him from moaning out loud as Kanda's hand slipped in his pants and stroked his member.

"O-oh… Mmmngh…" Allen arched his back slightly as tiny little sparks of light filled his vision for a moment. Heat stung in his stomach and he lost the track of events momentarily, overwhelmed by the pleasure. The next thing he comprehended was the abrupt decrement of pressure on his groin and cool air hitting his arousal. Instinctively he raised his hips so Kanda could pull the trousers off.

Blinking couple times Allen opened his eyes, staring little hazed at the ceiling. He was fully naked before the man, though it didn't bother him at all – he wasn't modest or shameful, not anymore. From the corner of his eye he could see Kanda taking of his pants and knew what would come next. Oddly, he nearly looked forward to what was next.

On the other hand, it probably had something to do with his own boner.

Then the Japanese's hands were on his knees, spreading his legs apart. Allen just closed his eyes again, hoping this part to come to an end as soon as possible. He was already gripping on to the edge of the couch, when something slick and slender pushed inside. Something much smaller than a cock.

It actually took him a couple of seconds to understand what it was. Only Cross and Bak had ever done this to him and neither of them did it very often – in Cross' case it'd been 'adjusting' as the bastard had said, while Bak would've bothered if Allen had pleased him well enough. And now Kanda during their first time… He had to have done something _really_ good this time to have such fine karma.

A second finger slipped inside making him gasp sharply as the man started stretching him more forcefully. It wasn't painful yet so staying silent was rather easy task, even if the constant penetrating was rather uncomfortable. However, the third digit made stinging pain rush through his lower back.

"Ngh… A-angh…"

Kanda wasn't wasting time as he started steadily moving his fingers. They slid easily inside Allen's body, coated with the lubricant he used. Allen whimpered quietly trying to find a more comfortable position without writhing too much. Fuzzily he saw Kanda applying the substance on himself before drawing his hand away from him and grabbing his legs. The boy clenched his hands to fits, gritting his teeth as the man positioned the tip of his cock against his stretched entrance.

Breathe Allen, breath, just remember to breathe… "A-aah! Ngh!" He bent backward, muscles contracting for a few moments until he got used to the unfamiliar girth. Kanda pushed all the way in, not pausing to wait before pulling out and slamming back in. And then again and again, a steady, slowly increasing rhythm.

How many times would it take before the pain would completely vanish?

Allen closed his eyes, gasping loudly as Kanda's movement became fierce, sharp thrusts. He tried not to cry out in agony, unwilling to show his inconvenience when the man was hovering above him half naked, using his body to get satisfaction. Although, all of that disappeared from his head as the pain suddenly changed to unexpected pleasure.

"Aaah! Ha-ahh…"

World was spinning around him, oxygen had somehow turned to carbon and the only thing he could comprehend was the desire inside of him, rapidly multiplying. Waves of something he had felt only few times before washed over Allen, tearing the control of his body away from him and driving him crazy.

"Haa-ah… A-a-ah… Ngh!"

Concentrating was impossible, his instincts weren't working like they should've been. They were telling him to do things he unconsciously knew he might regret, things that would be reckless and imprudent, things his body craved for. He wasn't supposed to give in to this, of that he was sure – but why, he had no idea, when he was hot and eager and tickling all over.

Allen just simply couldn't remember why he should be observant or cautious. All he was aware of was Kanda pounding into him, again and again and again, and all he knew was that he loved it, loved every movement, every thrust, every pulse of pleasure ravishing him.

He couldn't take much more, couldn't hold on to the bits of his sanity any longer. He was tense, so tense it was nearly unbearable and the relief was so near he was close to dying. He tried to… tried to…

"Aaaaah!"

Oblivion wrapped itself over him and he tried nothing.

A moment later Kanda stopped moving, nearly collapsing on top of Allen. He was breathing heavily, strands of black hair pouring over his shoulder as he leant against his arms. The white shirt he was wearing hung loosely on him, some of the buttons open, though the man wasn't paying any attention to it. He was too busy attempting to banish the mist blurring his mind.

Not that the boy noticed any of this.

Allen gazed up at the ceiling, vaguely wondering how long he had been lying there. He wasn't too certain of what he was supposed to do, if anything. Neither did he know whether or not his owner was pleased with him. Maybe he should have been quieter? Or… Oh well, he would find out if Kanda had something to complain about.

It took a little more time before the older male finally pulled away, still looking a little disoriented. Allen blinked, not really sure where to look. The haze in his own head was slowly fading away, giving more room to sensible thoughts and because of them he had started fretting. Most of peoples were relaxed and compliant after sex, easily forgiving little mistakes here and there. Nevertheless…

…there were exceptions.

Bad kinds of exceptions.

He could feel his heartbeats quickening.

Dear lord if Kanda was like Lulubell…

But the man seemed calm as he receded to the other end of the couch. Calm and somehow… tired. 'Odd', Allen thought as he pushed himself to a proper sitting position little less nervous now, since the other wasn't showing any signs of aggression. Though he couldn't be sure due to the black tresses that were hiding most of Kanda's face behind them.

"Go clean yourself."

He jolted slightly. Kanda's voice was soft, nearly quiet – nothing like Allen had ever heard from him before. Startled by the uncommon behavior Allen grew tense as he stood up and promptly gathered his clothes. It was better to obey without any delays.

It was only until Allen had reached the doorway when Kanda spoke up again.

"And go to sleep after that."

~XxX~

Red.

Cardinal.

Ruddy.

Slowly the world spun, twirling smoothly all around him, distances twisted in a morbid, sickening way, varying constantly. He was falling upwards, swaying down through the substance below him and floating to the sides. Gravity rushed away from him, vacuum crushing his body to heap of lifeless meat.

Carmine.

Sanguine.

Crimson.

Shadows danced through the room from one wall to another, circling him, surrounding him until they were everywhere and nowhere, bleeding into each other so well that he didn't know whether they were one color or not. Darkness rotated with light, rolling over him again and again, flashes of the reality emerged from the madness only to fade away moments of later.

Flame.

Gleam.

Fire.

Insane grin and knife lunging down to his chest.

Horror.

Pain.

Blood.

"No!"

Allen was sitting upright on his bed before he even realized waking up. His breathing was heavy, going in and out with short, sharp gasps and he could feel his heart smashing against his rib cage. Pieces of the nightmare repeated themselves over and over again in his mind as he tried not to start hyperventilating.

Oh god, no. Not this again. He didn't want it.

Something that might have been a suppressed cry shook the slender shoulders, a restrained burst of agony trying uselessly to tear its way out of the teenager's body, and Allen buried his face to his palms, all but terrified. He wasn't sure how loud the yell had come out, though the fact that Kanda hadn't shown up demanding a reason for making such a ruckus in the middle of the night, it had been more like a hiss. Fortunately.

A soft click emitted from the digital clock that was standing on the bedside table, drawing the boy's attention. He raised his eyes up and glanced tiredly at the device, staring at it for a moment before directing his gray irises towards the windows. Soft glow of light in the horizon betrayed the dawn, even if the rest of the world was still bathing in the dimness of nighttime.

Well, it was nearly time for him to wake up.

Not that he would've slept anyway.

Finally coming aware of the dull ache in his lower back, Allen laid back down and rolled to the side. It wasn't that bad, just a little sore and sensitive – he could walk normally, though it was better to be careful when taking a seat – but nothing he wouldn't be able to bear. In fact, it had been rather pleasant compared to his other experiences. Kanda wasn't too rough, albeit some of his owners had been gentler. At times.

Allen blinked slowly, he was feeling more tired than in weeks. It wasn't _such_ a big surprise when you took the earlier events and the nightmare into account. Though, he _had_ relatively good stamina for the side effects of his so called career – he could still remember the times when Cross had exhausted him with only one round.

So basically he shouldn't be this drained.

…

Oh, whatever. It was probably just anemia.

Some more minutes passed by in the dim room. Groaning Allen turned around, staring out of the window regardless of the sun that was becoming brighter and brighter with alarming speed. He would get a serious headache if he kept staring at the light much longer.

Weird, his head was spinning slightly. As if he had a hang over.

But… he hadn't drank anything of the sort.

…

It was just too confusing to think right at the moment.

And just then the sun peeked over the building that had been shielding Allen's eyes from the burning brightness of the dawn, saw a lithe frame of a young boy lying on a massive bed and decided to take a closer look. And as the very first ray of light reached the boy's eyes and gently touched them, thousands of nerve impulses shot right to up to Allen's brain, easily exceeding the speed limit and causing a horrible, _horrible_ incident to occur.

"Ugh…"

And now he had a headache.

"Oi! Wake up, Moyashi! I don't have a whole fucking day to wait!"

Thank you, Bakanda, thank you _so much_.

~XxX~

So, hope you liked it. And what comes to Allen's headache and stuff, there's no really any actual reason to it - you know those days when you wake up feeling _horrible_ without any reason what so ever and then the whole day just simply sucks (at leas most of the times) no matter what you do? Well, that's the only explanation. And now, please, review!


	5. Chapter 5

The fifth one up! Some more mysteries for you to wonder. XD Okay, I'm not being too mean, am I? So, still not Kanda's point of view but I think I'm going to lift the curtain a little in the next chapter. Maybe, since want the plot to move somewhere before it gets too boring. And thanks so much for everyone who have given me a review!

Once again, we all should just thank XDchan for making this readable.

**Warnings:** No, not really. Just some cursing.

**Disclaimer:** I do _not_ draw well enough to create someone as gorgeous as Kanda, so therefore I _don't_ own the DGM.

**~XxX~**

**Chapter 5**

**Mall**

**~XxX~**

"…_police haven't been able to find the suspects, who are presumably aiming towards the state border. According to eyewitnesses… today's guest is well-known writer… pinch of chamomile. Then shake the mixture before… black mamba, the world's fastest snake and one of the Africa's most feared… and then the weather…"_

"Fuck this shit. Isn't there anything worth fucking watching? There's like a fucking thousand channels of pure _crap_!"

Allen took a sip from his tea, all the while listening how Kanda cursed the media industry to the pits deepest hell. He couldn't care less, though the constant swearing and foul mood was starting to be just _a_ _little_ annoying. Honestly, what kind of parents didn't teach their children to behave? Maybe Kanda was the youngest child of some yakuza boss or something.

On the other hand, he had gotten an idea that yakuza bosses raised their kids pretty strictly.

Well, whatever. It wasn't his business anyway.

Stuffing the last piece of the sandwich in his mouth Allen finished his breakfast and stood up. He was still slightly hungry despite the extra portion he had received, although it wouldn't be smart to ask for more. Kanda hadn't been happy to hear his request in the first place and annoying the man any further was just as stupid as playing with fire. He would be the one to get hurt, no matter how it ended.

As Allen made his way to the sink he tried his best to repress a yawn, careful not to cause too much noise when he placed the dishes in the water. Kanda was oversensitive to racket – as well as to questions, procrastination and another couple hundred things – especially if it occurred inside his apartment. He suspected that the man had some more or less serious anger management problems.

_And_ a bunch of weird habits – like why the hell couldn't they use the dishwasher with _all_ the dishes? What was the difference between breakfast plates and lunch plates? Or why did they need to wash the teacups by hand?

If anything, Allen had learnt that Kanda was enigma simply impossible to solve. You never knew what he was thinking.

"…_of the international NOAH-company that arrived in New York yesterday evening. According to the official statements the visit has nothing to do with the company's trades and is only related to group's private life. However…"_

Allen's hands froze.

"…_no one knows what these private affairs are about. The head of their Asia branch, Tyki Mikk, refused to give any more accurate details of…"_

All of a sudden it felt like the whole world was collapsing in on him – he couldn't breathe, his body felt heavy -- as if the air itself had transformed into lead. Sounds faded, deafening silence surrounded him, the fast pounding of his heart growing louder and louder with every passing second. His vision blurred, head spinning like no tomorrow and the only thing he knew was the sickening lump in his throat.

'_No, no, no… It can't be… It can't be… Please don't let it be…'_

Allen felt his feet gave under him, his arms desperately trying to keep him up to no avail. The throbbing inside his head increased until there wasn't anything else, until the entire universe was pulsing around him, until he was opening and closing his mouth like a dying fish on the ground. And then everything spun around, crashed down with a nauseous speed and he slumped against the draining board.

"…fucking snobs, egoistic bastards all of them…"

Allen leant forward, trying to slow down his breathing as the fire in his lungs gradually died. There were black spots in his vision and his hands were shaking, not to mention the rest of his body. He felt weak, helpless – a withering petal in the winter breeze. It was like he'd just run a marathon.

Swallowing Allen shook his head a little and shakily resumed washing the dishes again. He had no reason to react like that just because _he_ was in the city. No, not at all. _Kanda_ was his owner now and nothing else in the whole wide world mattered to him. That's right, why was he fretting because of some insignificant memory? It didn't concern him anymore.

Tyki Mikk could be wherever he liked for all Allen cared.

_Exactly. _

"Oi. Are you done with the dishes yet?"

He jumped a little too fiercely, the last knife slipping out of his grasp and sinking to the bottom of the basin. The clang made by it seemed so out of place now that Kanda had switched the TV off, causing the large room quiet down remarkably. Grimacing to himself, Allen fished the cutlery from the water.

"Not yet. Just a minute."

"Che, slacker. You have five of them to finish that and get yourself ready to leave", Kanda stated standing up. "We're going out, so just to remind you; would you like to be skinned alive?"

Despite the surprise Allen stirred at the words and, above all, at the memory they awoke. Quickly he shook his head. "No, not particularly."

"Surprise, fucking surprise", the man scoffed, rolling his eyes. "And since your deceased brains probably won't understand even the most fucking obvious implications, that _means_ you stay near me, speak to no one and furthermore don't attract any fucking attention."

"Understood", he answered drying his hands to the towel.

"Che. Better be, 'cause if you think I wouldn't do it, think fucking again."

"I'm very sure you would."

"Fucking _terrific_."

~XxX~

"Yo, boss! I'm here!"

An over-energetic, one-eyed redhead burst in to the small video rental outlet, everything but respecting common manners between employer and employee as he marched right to the counter, dropped down onto the all but broken chair and snatched an old magazine from the cardboard box under the desk before kicking his bag out of sight. Leaning back he started to whistle some anonymous melody that might've been composed by Mozart.

The back door opened and closed silently as a tall man, maybe in his early thirties stepped in and gazed at the redhead with a troubled look on his face.

"Lavi, you shouldn't be late so often", the man sighed somewhat meekly. "I don't want to fire you."

"Ow, but Kro-chan, you wouldn't fire me!" the redhead, now known as Lavi, stated happily, a wide grin splitting his face in two. "If you did, no one would be here to socialize with you!"

'Kro-chan' gave another sigh, shaking his head. "It's not like I don't enjoy your company, Lavi. But I can't afford to pay you, if you don't do your job." There was hint of desperation in his voice and that made the redhead to turn towards the older man, looking maybe just slightly nervous. Not that it was noticeable.

"See, boss, I'm really sorry about the delays, I just kind of have some… difficulties with my grandpa", Lavi murmured, sounding all of a sudden somewhat embarrassed as he scratched the back of his head. "He's old and stuff, so I got to look after him but… he's not so… erm… _sharp_ anymore, you know?" In this point he laughed awkwardly. "So… well, I'm sorry, but… Yeah, I try to be in time from this on, okay? And you can cut my salary, if it depends on that."

Krory blinked on that. "C-cut it? But won't you…? I mean…"

"No, no. I'll be okay", the redhead assured, grinning again. "Gramps has quite a bit of money – won a lottery or something like _ages_ ago. Jeez, he's so stingy that I wouldn't be surprised, if he hadn't used it at all."

"O-oh." Nothing better come out from the older male's mouth for a moment. "A-haa… So, why then…?"

Apparently Lavi got the idea, since he rolled his eyes meaningfully. "He never lets me get anything the easy way, that's for sure. But no worries!" he leant backwards, the chair creaking ominously under the shifting weight. "I got top grades in school and I'm still alive! That beats like everything life can throw at you."

"Ah…" Krory said. Then, "Well, I-I guess you're right. Please, take care of the place for a couple of hours. I would like to visit Eliade."

"Yeah, sure thing. Say hi for me!"

"O-okay."

Lavi waited until the front door had closed after the man, before letting out a relieved sigh and sliding lower on the seat. Man, that was close. He really couldn't afford to loose his job now – Lenalee would honestly kick him so hard that he'd have a boot mark on is backside for the rest of his life. Like really, she was taking this mission way too seriously even for her usual self. It wasn't like Lavi slacked off or anything – heck, he did his job better than average – but sometimes it was like Lenalee's life depended on the current assignment.

Then again, hadn't one of her childhood friends disappeared years ago?

Lavi stared at the wall blankly, trying to recall where he had heard about that. He was downright positive it was something she'd said. Just when…? It had to have been a passing comment, not a conversation otherwise he would've already remembered. Now then, in which situation would he _not_ ask more about the matter? It was like luring a firefly – since he didn't like snatching lollipops from children.

"Yhm…"

Ah-haa! There! It'd been that time when he…

"_Excuse_ me."

…had eavesdropped her job interview.

"How can I help you, miss?"

~XxX~

Allen stared at the view spreading in front of him with chaotic emotions, not knowing what to do, what to think. There were simply too many feelings battering the inside of his head, shouting at him, trying to grab his attention and all the while he felt like going insane. The disarray around him was overwhelming, making him feel nauseous and light-headed – he hadn't been in the middle of this large crowd for years and suddenly the worst rush hour of the city's biggest mall was thrown right on his face. It was a hellish turmoil, which nearly broke through his mask.

Thank what ever higher being that was watching that Kanda didn't give him time for a breakdown as he started pulling him through the masses. Because, with out a doubt, Allen would've lost his composure if he'd had a chance to dwell in his mental confusion any longer.

Though, it didn't make him any less disoriented.

Which, of course, pissed off the Japanese even more.

And whenever Kanda was angry at something, he would naturally take it out on others – in this case, on Allen. So when he was forced to slow down due to a laughing group of teenagers, the man was on him in an instant.

"Stop fucking dawdling! Can't you even fucking walk properly, brat? Are you that retarded?"

He wanted to say it wasn't his fault, that there was nothing he could do when everyone was bumping into him and slowing him down. But he didn't – no matter how much he'd like to tell the taller male to shut up, not even one resisting word would slip past his lips. He knew how to hold his tongue.

Though, it seemed like the crowd was doing one hell of a job with disturbing his concentration.

Therefore, Allen failed to notice a thin man who rushed through the groups, collided with him and ended up shoving him towards some old lady, who nearly fell over as he crashed against her. That, obviously, caused disorder and weird looks from passersby – among them was a tight grip on his shoulder from a much more insulting person.

"What the _fuck_ is your problem, baka Moyashi? You've never been in a goddamn shopping center before?"

Oh, just how much did he want to snap back at the idiot. Just _how_ much. But the only thing that left his mouth was a simple 'sorry', which did nothing to improve Kanda's mood albeit it saved him from more berating. Or at least that was his guess.

So, trying to keep track of everything that happened near him, Allen hurried after his owner who was now proceeding across the wide hall, towards the escalators leading to the next level. A soft glow of sunlight shone through the large skylight windows far above the masses of busy people, warming up the bleak space a little, and he found that the western paleness of design could have its moments. Nevertheless, it was still far away from the bazaars of the East.

When they reached the other end of the hall, Allen's breathing had already sped up a little. It was difficult for him to keep up with Kanda's long steps at any rate, and with the constantly moving crowd pushing him back and forth that particular task grew almost impossible. He needed to flit between every smallest crack in order to stay at least relatively near the man, who – luckily – didn't notice the gap which separated them all the time.

At least Allen was able to make his way next to the Japanese right before he stepped on the escalator. A moment of calm.

Kanda hadn't said what they were here for and he hadn't asked, though it did bug him – nearly the whole morning had passed by with sitting in the man's black car and then waiting as he vanished somewhere. It seemed to Allen like Kanda had been taking care of his business or something of that sort, but in reality he honestly couldn't tell for sure. All he knew was that it hadn't pleased the man one bit.

What a nice outcome for the albino.

How could anyone have such a ridiculous luck as he had?

Not to mention that he'd fallen asleep in the car and earned a _really_ pleasant wake up with a list of very personal curses and a couple unique insults.

Well, at least the day was interesting if anything.

"Stop spacing out, fucking idiot. You're getting looks." Kanda's abrupt growl snapped Allen out of his thoughts as he fixed his gaze to the other's narrowed eyes. They were nearly on the second floor already.

'_As if I don't get those anyway, or are you blind? I have _white _hair you dolt!'_ he mentally answered but the only respond Kanda was bound to hear was a quiet, "Sorry." Again. Not that the man would accept anything else, since Allen hadn't even once given him a reason to – when he was required to reply he did it as shortly as possible, and that seemed to suit Kanda just well.

"Che", the Japanese snorted. "Get moving, idiot. You're slowing me down", he spat out over his shoulder, clearly annoyed as he started walking again. The albino didn't waste time before following after the long-haired one, this time trying to keep the distance as short as he could. Fortunately it was rather easy to find Kanda, if his eyes lost the track of the man for a moment – after all, not everybody had such a conspicuous looks or a long, black leather jacket that, as Allen had to admit, fit _too_ perfectly. Kanda's whole outfit seemed to be screaming rich.

And somehow _that_ didn't fit in _at all_.

Good heavens, the man was an enigma.

At that moment Kanda stopped, turning to look at him with a scowl on his face and hurriedly Allen crossed the two meters between them, coming to a halt couple steps before the taller male. Remarkably enough Kanda said nothing, the commotion around them bustling like a sea of row as people after another passed by. Only after a particularly noisy croup of teenagers emerged behind the Japanese, did he notice that they were standing in front of a clothing store.

Allen blinked. Shopping?

"Che." Kanda shrugged his shoulders as if trying to get rid of an unpleasant thought. For a moment his eyes wavered, a nearly… regretful look appearing in them before that dark gaze steeled again. The white-haired boy didn't let any sign of acknowledgement of it invade his expression.

"Follow."

'_And just what else would I've done?'_

Nevertheless Allen obeyed without complaint. He didn't need to understand why they were here. If Kanda wanted him to know, he would tell him – sooner or later – so no reason to dwell on it. Certainly.

…

Damn his curiosity.

They stepped inside the brightly lit store and, as if someone would've pushed a switch, the almost deafeningly stir tuned down. Allen allowed his gray eyes to travel around carefully, taking in images and details he hadn't seen for years. Kanda on other hand wasn't affected by the sudden change of atmosphere even a one bit, which in fact was hardly abnormal. Like, really, who was amazed by a clothing store?

"What's your size?"

Allen blinked in surprise and stared at the Japanese's back for second. His size? Why would Kanda want to know his… _size_? Unless… they were here to… The realization crashed onto him like an erratic block and Allen honestly had to struggle to get his jaw up from the ground. He didn't mean…? Or… did he?

No, it's just couldn't be. No way. Not in a million years. It was freaking impossible! Kanda would never ever _ever_ go and…

"Are you fucking deaf?" And just like that he was gazing at the piercing eyes of the said man. "I asked you: What. Is. Your. Size? Now give me a fucking answer!"

"I-I'm…" Allen stuttered taken aback by the sudden outburst. "I'm not sure. The standards aren't the same a-and I haven't really done any shopping for five years so…" he let his voice to trail off when Kanda's glare didn't lessen even the slightest. "Smallest possible?"

"Che. Should've known nothing can ever go the easy way."

'_Well yeah, life does work like that.'_

The Japanese's eye twitched as if he could hear what Allen had thought and the boy grew just a little nervous, no matter how ridiculous the idea was. In the end Kanda only snorted, apparently more impatient than actually irritated. Though why, he had no clue. Maybe the man didn't like malls.

"Fine. You have twenty minutes to pick up whatever you like", Allen found himself hearing and it would've been understatement to say he was shocked. "But you're not going to get anything else for a fucking long time, so you better choose something that's worth it."

Kanda wasn't looking at him, but glaring at the blond salesclerk who was starting to fidget in her seat. However, when Allen just simply stood there, way too dumbfounded to say or do anything, the man turned his gaze back to the boy, eyes narrowed dangerously.

"What the fuck are you waiting for? Do you want me to carry you or what?"

He started, eyes widening slightly and then shook his head quickly. "No. Sorry. Thank you." The words left his lips promptly, without pauses between them, making Kanda frown.

"What the fuck?"

And then Allen smiled. A simple, faint curve of lips, so far away from what it used to be all those years ago. He didn't answer to the man, just scooted off to do what he had been told to do.

It didn't matter after all, now did it?

~XxX~

So now, you _do_ have time to give me a review, don't you? Pretty please?


	6. Chapter 6

So yeah, there really isn't so much happening in this but I think it's actually pretty important chapter. And you get Kanda's point of view! So thanks for everyone who reviewed! And also thanks to **XDchan** for making this readable!

**Warnings:** A Japanese restaurant with lousy decorations. Also pretty bizarre behavior.

**~XxX~**

**Chapter 6**

**Dinner**

**~XxX~**

Damn it. _Damn it_.

He was so fed up with this… this… _ridiculosity_.

If Kanda Yu would've had a choice, he sure as hell wouldn't been sitting here, in this god forsaken Asian restaurant, with that white-haired skinny brat of an excuse, listening how the couple at the table behind them chatted loud enough for the whole city to hear. No, he very definitely wouldn't have agreed to come to _shopping_ of all the stupidity the idiots could make up, nor would've he bothered to drag the kid with him. In fact, if there would've been a choice, he wouldn't have ever even seen the boy in the first place.

But – as he told to himself over and over again – there was _not_.

So the only option left for him was to do his job and be _done_ with it.

What a pain…

The brat was currently sitting across the class-plated table, eating silently with some vague table manners and seemingly trying to make himself as unnoticeable as possible. It worked surprisingly well, regardless of his abnormal looks and that annoying clumsy behavior, which actually wasn't so clumsy as Kanda kept claiming. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone. _Including_ himself.

And in this point one must take a notice of the Japanese's way of thinking – how he could easily deny something he already consciously _knew_ without even blinking an eye, far less needing to _fight_ to convince himself of the matter. If he decided the sky was red, then the sky _was_ red even if he saw it was blue. Simple as that.

One would also notify, conceivably insane.

But Kanda was very much a sane person and not only from his own point of view. He was, in fact, quite rational in most cases – just astonishingly good at disclaiming things he didn't want to admit and also rather capable of ignoring logical reasoning when he felt like it. So, to say the very least, he did what he wanted, when he wanted, how he wanted and didn't give a damn about what anybody else thought about him.

Therefore, it's not too surprising that he wasn't happy to have this work _he did not wanted to take_. Law be damned, you got absolutely no consequences from blackmailing – especially if you were a cop by yourself. Law enforcers knew the best how to avoid getting caught and hell could freeze over before they stopped doing it.

Fucking bastards.

And happily as ever Kanda ignored the fact that he was a one too.

A waitress in a dress that was supposed to imitate a traditional kimono but ended up looking like an oversized gown with paint stains on it hurried past their table and vanished behind the partition – which was pathetically trying to look like a shoji, as he could mention. Actually, the entire place was rather miserable, some Japanese-looking furnishing and ornaments uselessly covering the obvious western style that percolated through the decoration. The only good thing about the place was its dimness: the dark color-repertory absorbed half of the light that the faintly lit lamps could give.

Maybe it was supposed to be mysterious or something crap like that.

Kanda snorted silently to himself and took a next mouthful of soba, eyes travelling back to the person sitting opposite him. The boy was still in the nearly same position he'd been in for the last fifteen minutes excluding the movement of his hands and the occasional tilt of the head. White hair hid the face partially, so the only thing Kanda could really see was the brat's nose and mouth and with that it was kind of hard to tell, what was he thinking. _If_ he even thought something. After all, all the kid has done up until now was to be annoying and do whatever he ordered him to do.

His own personal slut.

The cause of his every problem.

Fan–_fucking_–tastic.

He had never wanted this, had never asked for this. Hell, it went against each and every one of his principles! He'd thought he would never comply to be part of anything like this shit, no matter what it was for or how they arranged it. And just look at him now – he'd made himself one of those he loathed from the very pit of his being! He'd sunk lower than he even knew was possible.

He had fucked the kid.

How the hell had everything ended up like this?

Knuckles white from the force his hand was holding the chopsticks Kanda scowled at the half-eaten portion in front of him like it would give him all of the answers. Instead it made him feel sick. Angrily he snarled incoherent curses under his breath, fighting against the urge to break down something. It wouldn't do to gather any attention.

But fuck if it wouldn't had relieved some of that goddamn tension inside of him.

Tossing the chopsticks aside Kanda grabbed the teacup and drank a large sip.

He… he just… he just didn't fucking know anymore! His whole world had suddenly turned upside down while he'd just stand on his tracks without moving and now everything around him was the wrong way round. He tried to clutch onto something, keep his hold of the things, but no! Idiots and morons decided about his affairs behind his back, forcing unwanted tasks onto his shoulders and making his life as difficult as they could.

And he had no goddamn way out of it.

This so called 'mission' was, just like the old faggot also known as Froi Tiedoll had said, depending on _him_ and _he_ couldn't mess it up no matter what. Because, despite Kanda's dislike of the job in question, this time they had something big, something that _mattered_. So screw it that it didn't follow his morals, screw it that he had refused to take the assignment, screw it that he'd became a fucking pedophile – _they_ wanted to achieve reputation, make their name known.

Of course, it started as a good idea – it always did – but by now they would've already forgotten the original reasons and the only thing signifying something was the same one everybody was after – the fame. No, they didn't give a shit about anything else anymore, all of that hypocritical idealism was gone, abandoned to the last drawer in the line. Not that Kanda minded, he could go just fine without that kind of unpragmatic nonsense.

It just was the way things worked – forget the pretty, romantic daydreams and do some real money. If it caused something relatively good to happen then fine, job well done but love was still for the losers and feelings for the weaklings.

So what did that make of him?

Kanda growled absently, his dark blue eyes stared unseeing at the Moyashi's delicate fingers as he kept eating with a steady pace. Nonchalantly he noted that the boy had already nearly finished his meal while he himself wasn't even the half way done. True, he didn't exactly feel himself hungry but the brat definitely ate unusually fast. Nothing unexpected, though, the kid was probably one of the most bizarre persons he'd ever met.

…_which_ reminded him that there was a reason why they were sitting in here right now.

A reason _he had forgotten_.

Fuck it. _Fuck. It_.

~XxX~

Allen hadn't looked up from his food ever since the waitress had left. It wasn't as if his natural curiosity had suddenly fled away with the nervousness that liked to live in his chest and got married, but in all honesty – he wasn't stupid, and Kanda's mood had just gotten worse during the day. It was better to keep low profile so not to irritate the man any further, since just a simple glance to his direction could lead to explosion. The only problem in it was that Allen's food was starting to run out with alarming rate, while Kanda merely stared at his own soba and muttered curses under his breath.

Surely the Japanese couldn't hate malls this much?

He nearly sighed out loud, nonplussed by the lack of self-consciousness he seemed to have around the man. It was disruptive how he let himself loosen, started pondering things that in no way were important for him whenever even the slightest amount of calm washed over the ambience. Allen was dreadfully sure he'd end up doing a decisive mistake due to his wondering thoughts. God knew just how good example this day was. He'd been dashing against people all the time, somehow loosing the track of events that took place around him.

At least he hadn't overrun the time limit.

Gazing at the ornamental partition from the corner of his eyes Allen thought back to the shopping tour, a brief laugh bubbling in his throat. He didn't let it out even if the fact that the whole episode had been rather amusing was undeniable. At the time, though, he had been more like panicking about every little thing which possibly could go wrong. Thoughts like 'what the hell am I going to choose', 'what if he doesn't like this' and 'why for the love of God can't he follow me so I could see his expressions' had roamed through his head as he'd tried to pick up 'something that's worth it', citing Kanda.

Oh goodness, the guy didn't give a shit about his clothes so long as he just dressed decently. Rather pleasant in fact, it wasn't like Allen had liked using mini-shorts and too little tank tops. Not to mention some of the…

"Oi, Moyashi."

He jumped lightly at the grumpy voice that abruptly broke the relatively silent atmosphere. The muffled voice drifting from the other parts of the restaurant had subsided to the back of his mind until he hadn't registered them anymore and now it felt so foreign to hear Kanda's almost loud words shred through the air. Quickly he turned his eyes towards the man.

"Yes?"

"Have you ever been in a Japanese restaurant before?" The question was asked with nonchalant voice, like it was something Kanda just came up with, nothing important or meaningful. And Allen would've fallen for it, if not for Cross. That man had thought him much – purposely and inadvertently – but the thing he knew the best, was not to ever believe something just because _it looked like it_.

"Yes."

"Was it as lousy as this one?" the man continued, glancing around boredly.

"No", Allen answered even if he didn't think the place was that bad. It was quite nice and made him feel cozy despite the western elements.

"Che. Tell me, where did you found a Japanese restaurant that wasn't repulsively artificial?" Kanda sneered, sounding unnecessary skeptic. The dark eyes were now fixed on the younger boy weighting, considering. Allen couldn't help himself and lowered his head a little, a gesture that came naturally these days.

"From Japan."

At that the man raised an eyebrow. "And I thought you said you've been only in Italy, China and India." The expression on his face was nearly smug. "Did I just caught a little weed from lying?"

Allen could feel his heart racing up to stars, cold sweep running over his spine as Kanda's words crept into his mind. For a mere second he panicked, terror rushing through his veins like a liquid oxygen, freezing him to the bone. Then his eyes blinked on their own and hand brought the water glass to his lips like there was no worries in the world.

"For a longer periods of time", Allen heard himself saying. "But some of my owners traveled and occasionally took me with them. Though, those trips lasted normally just a few days, week at most." He didn't understand how his voice stayed so calm, so smooth, not when Kanda was staring him like that – like he knew something Allen didn't knew he knew.

"Che", the man snorted, eyes once again unreadable under the sleek bangs. "Aren't you smart one. And just how many countries were too insignificant for me to hear?" The words were pronounced with a clear caustic tone, which didn't left space for doubts about his opinion.

Allen's thoughts scooted back and forth, winded places and names. "Including the three you already know -", he said hesitantly, trying to recall everything from the haziest memories that barely even lingered in his mind anymore. "- I'd said thirteen."

"And you thought those weren't worth of mentioning?" Kanda's voice grew lower, dangerous edge all too obvious to Allen. He shifted, not daring to meet the other's eyes. "Well, mind telling _now_?" the man hissed nearly crushing the chopsticks in his grip.

"Greece, Turkey, Iran", the words left his lips quickly as Allen tried not to hesitate, even if he couldn't be sure whether or not he was telling the truth. "Pakistan, Thailand, France, Japan and…" Desperately he dragged the memories from the corners of his brains, somehow managing to remember things that had already been forgotten. "Philippines, Laos and Malaysia."

"Oh, _that's all_?" Freezing. Completely, utterly, thoroughly _freezing_. Though, it was kind of weird that he got an image of thousand degree flames blazing around the black-haired man. Somehow it reminded him of…

"Yes. No. I went to some countries more than once, I think."

…a demon.

'_Suits him well'_, the subconscious personality of a certain Allen Walker remarked from the background of his mind like it was perfectly normal to hear voices in your head. Well, in fact, it was as long as those voices belonged to _you_ and not to _someone else_.

"And just what the hell do you mean 'you think'?"

"Um… Well, I don't really remember everything so… clearly. I've forgotten some things that have happened during past five years. Lots of things, actually."

Needless to say, Allen was more than happy about the fact that every voice in his head very much belonged to himself. They never surprised him, nor did they ever disagree with him – therefore, he had to think them by himself.

"Che. So you are a demented too, Moyashi?"

"N-no, I'm not demented, I just don't remember… some things."

It wasn't like Allen was crazy or anything. His mind had simply activated self-defense systems and pushed the more outgoing and talkative side of his personality aside, since it would've caused only damage to him.

"That's the same thing."

"U-uh… I guess."

Even though Allen never considered himself as a rude or witty person, it seemed like sometimes even he couldn't refrain from making remarks. Saying them out loud, however, was like begging for pain and that was a thing he didn't do. So to avoid the wrath of his owners, he simply said the comments in his head.

"Che."

Hence he wasn't really crazy. Just reasonable.

"You're a total idiot, you know that?" Kanda blurted out after a couple seconds of silence. Since there really wasn't an answer to that kind of a statement, Allen settled for murmuring something incoherent. Though, that seemed to just irritate the man more if the deepening scowl on his face was anything to go by.

"Oh, for fuck's sake! Can't you even make a proper reply?" the Japanese snapped. "Do you have any idea how fucking annoying it is to watch you comply to every goddamn thing I say? Don't you have your own opinion about anything?"

'_Yeah, I do, but do _you_ know how irritating it's not to ever be able to say them? Like what the hell are you expecting me to do? Disagree and get into an argument? Yeah, sure.'_

"Then how may I respond?"

"Stop sounding so fucking _polite_! No one speaks like that, you dimwit!" Now Kanda was positively frowning in a desperate frustration. So, he couldn't take well-mannered behavior, then? Rather amusing actually.

Not letting even the slightest sign of hilarity to blemish the faked expression, Allen furrowed his eyebrows at the Japanese. "I really don't see where you're going, Kanda. You want me to act rude or what?" Oh, he was playing with fire now, but dear Lord if it wasn't more of a fun than anything else he'd done for a year at least.

"No", the man hissed, one brow twitching in annoyance. "I want you to stop pretending something you aren't. Just fucking say what you want to say and stop acting like a little, trained _puppy_."

And all of a sudden the humor was gone. Allen stared blankly at Kanda wondering how the hell did everything around him always go wrong. Like really, stop pretending something he wasn't? That's a thing which won't happen even if the society takes a turn on its heels and starts singing hippie songs again. Kanda just didn't seem to be realizing it and that made everything hell of a lot more complicated. He honestly had no idea why he was here, why the man had bought him – Kanda simply wasn't a person anyone would imagine buying a prostitute and Allen could imagine pretty damn unlikely things.

"I'm sorry", he said quietly looking down like the nearly eaten portion in front of him was the most interesting thing in the world. Or more like something right above it. "But I don't think I know what you're meaning."

"You know full well what I mean!" the dark-haired man snapped. "That way you always, fucking _always_, look down, speak, move – even goddamn sit! Nobody acts like that on their free will, brat. You do everything like you would be only a freaking puppet that someone's controlling!"

"With all respect, I do _not_ have free will anymore than a doll has. I'm an object, a property of my owner – who, at the moment, is you." Allen didn't like the words that dropped from his tongue, but he couldn't come up with any else explanation. If there even was a one to give. He wasn't sure whether he was lying or telling the truth, nor did he want to. Knowledge would only cause pain.

Glint of qualm flashed past Kanda's undecipherable gaze so fast that it almost wasn't there and for a moment his face was completely blank, making him look like the perfection of mannequins. The boy couldn't help but admit that he really was beautiful – at least when not scowling and spitting insults. The Japanese would've made a lot of money selling his features. As a model, of course.

Dear, he'd been a whore for too long.

Then the ever present frown was back on its place as Kanda leant against the black cushion of the couch. Rather peculiar choice considering that the place _was_ a Japanese restaurant. But Allen didn't have time to ponder on it any longer, since the man decided to continue the conversation.

"Che."

'_Well, well, what a surprising start.'_

"If you're so insisted on being a marionette, then why aren't you doing what you're supposed to be doing. I told you to stop acting, so stop acting." Kanda wasn't looking at him but the insides of his eyelids. He paused for a moment before smirking and adding as an afterthought, "Or is standing on your own too hard?"

Allen blinked, sighing and shaking slowly his head as he realized that there was nothing he could do. Though, that didn't mean the man would get what he wanted. But truth indeed was a very equivocal term and its interpretation even more ambiguous, if not imprecise. All he needed to do was to change the character behind the lies.

'_Jeez, what a pain. Though, variation could make things a little interesting.'_

What a weird world do we live in.

~XxX~

Now, please, review?


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry, this took so long. I had some problems with technology. Also, there are some exams ahead of me, so the next one - although I have already started writing it - will be likely somewhat late too. Anyway, this is a little longer than other chapter have been. Hope you guys like it. By the way, I'm making Timcanpy with fulling technic (if that's how it's said, not sure).

**Warnings:** Weird thoughts, cursing, royally lame replic from Kanda and insulting human rights (not my opinion, just needed to put it there to get where I wanted).

**Disclaimer:** No, I still don't own DGM. Lucky you.

**~XxX~**

**Chapter 7**

**Runts and Rulers**

**~XxX~**

He hated mirrors.

They were the most obnoxious things that humankind had ever invented and nothing good ever came with them. No matter where they were or how they were used, they always ended up causing discomfort. When you weren't paying enough attention, they scared you shitless with glimpses of someone you couldn't see from where you were at the moment, and when you inspected them too closely you started seeing unnerving and obtrusive mistakes in the reflection. And it didn't end to there – no, people got _affected_ by mirrors; they fell for the traps of the image and were obsessed by it. Some admired themselves from the glass-surface, others were terrified by the twisted figures that stared back at them from beyond the obstacle, but the most horrid ones were those who _saw_ things that weren't there when they turned around, things that had been absorbed by the devious objects.

Mirrors were _evil_.

Though that wasn't the reason why Allen didn't ever look at his reflection, if there wasn't a good, protective layer of clothes covering him. Not that he liked watching the skinny, white-haired mirror image of himself anyway, it was just somehow so… _wrong_, out of place. However, the real reason was actually very simple – so simple that it could be reduced to a one single word: scars.

If the dark, angry line marring his face wasn't already a curse, then the gruesome designs on his chest and back surely finished the work. Luckily most of the cuts hadn't been too deep, so the marks were mainly faint, just pale lines forming a twisting net across his upper body. But that nearly ornamental web was completely blemished by the large rugged scar that ran down the right side of his torso.

Allen had never been vainglorious and that was a rather good thing, since his looks had been freaky from the very start, but the naked truth was that his outer appearance had just turned worse during the years. He was graceless and you got nowhere from it. It hadn't been so bad back when he had been twelve, although even then he'd been a freak – an exotic freak, which was the only reason why any human trafficker would've bothered to so much as look at him. It wasn't like every second person you came across was an albino and some people paid a lot to get their hands on something that was rare.

Like Bak Chan for an example.

Unlike most of his former owners, who were either pedophiles or had weird fetishes – excluding Cross since the man was just a horny bastard that couldn't live a one day with out sex and wine – Bak simply… wanted to try something _different_. Well, it wasn't as if he had a clean record from everything else, but at least the man had treated Allen decently – like a human was treated, a caged human, yes, but a human none the less. Bak hadn't talked to him like he didn't understand what he was saying, or like they would've shared an emotional connection. It hadn't been the best possible position to be in, but it'd worked rather well – he'd been a prostitute against his will and the Chinese had been the one using him. Neither of them had made it any more complicated than it had to be and Allen had lived somewhat stable life during his stay with Bak.

The blond scientist was definitely one of his best owners. He could count the number of times the man had used violence to punish him on one hand and even then it'd never been anything too serious – just a smack to face, a pull of the hair. Though, Bak hadn't even needed to use any sort of disciplinary methods on him, like he would ever disobey. Cross had taught him well.

At that thought Allen shuddered, repulsed by the way he was thinking. As if he really _was_ a pet of someone's and not just acting like a one. It made him feel squeamish even thought he hadn't eaten anything since last night. Which naturally reminded him of the slowly increasing hunger that was starting to nag in his stomach.

Sighing the pale boy glanced at the mirror and grimaced at the mess that was his hair. It nearly looked like he had a halo surrounding his head. Well, nothing a couple of brushes with a comb couldn't do. If there would be even one wisp left of the white jumble by the time he finished.

Allen doubted Kanda would be impressed if he showed up with no hair at all.

Brows furrowing he stared at the reflection dressed in beige jumper as memories from the day before yesterday emerged. Really, what was the man thinking? He_ couldn't_ start acting like… like… like he wasn't owned by him! Was Kanda trying to force him to get into trouble, did he want him to do a mistake? Gods, he didn't understand! There was no way in the world he could stop pretending, so why did the man tell him to do exactly that? He couldn't, it was impossible, it would hurt him – didn't Kanda realize that? He…

Blankly Allen gazed the gray eyes that looked back at him with numbness and melancholy he was sure didn't show from his face.

…he didn't know who he was anymore.

He'd been acting for too long.

But did he ever have a choice?

'_Just what the hell am I thinking? I should be concentrating on fooling Kanda, not myself!'_

Ah, denial, the greatest of powers. Or, in this case, more like evasion. But Allen didn't care; he had better things to do. Which surprisingly enough was true – whether or not his head and identity were messed up, he still needed to pull off a credible act for Kanda and the fact that he had to keep it up whenever the man was around him didn't make things any easier. That kind of performance was exhausting, not to mention difficult, even if his thoughts weren't wandering all over the place.

Damn that Bakanda for complicating everything. Why couldn't he just be content with having sex and then ignore him as much as possible? Dear heavens, the guy was probably the most annoying person he had ever been honored to meet.

Allen put the comb down, checked once more if he looked decent enough to show himself in front of his owner and then, just before stepping out of the bedroom, willed his expression to turn into a more insecure one. After all, it was expected – Kanda had ordered him to stop pretending and no one would presume that kind of change to happen without any difficulties. If he all of a sudden started joking with the Japanese, it would do nothing else than raise the man's suspicions.

What a pain.

But Allen was too hungry to sulk in his room for the rest of the day.

~XxX~

Kanda stared at the greenish liquid in the teacup while the phone rang over and over again as the person in the other end failed to answer. He felt more tired than he should've, the frown more worried than irked, dark eyes hesitant and blunt. Today wouldn't go like he wanted it to go, he just _knew_ it. Fuck, it was that brat's fault, he aggravated him on purpose, and made him shout at him and then the adrenaline kept him awake all the night. Damn he was worn out. And if the fucking rabbit wouldn't pick up the phone on this goddamn fucking second he would experience what it felt like to be in a scene from one of those horror movies he always laughed his ass off while watching.

…beep…beep…

"Damn saint –"

…click.

"– of the dickens' telephone line, who the heck isn't letting that mock of a fucking pirate answer?!"

"…No need to introduce yourself, Yuu-chan, but I got to say-"

"Don't you fucking call me by that name!"

"-that was probably one of lamest things you've ever said. Even the 'then, fuck' beats that rant, 'cause at least it was _fun_, you know."

Eye twitching Kanda gritted his teeth. "One fucking word and I-"

"Oh please, Yuu-chan! Spare me from hearing more! I can't take it, my ears are bleeding!"

"You fucking runt." In some point the lassitude had changed to irritation and right now Kanda was ready to snap. "I _didn't_ call you so you could practice your idiocity on me, fucktard. Now, cut it before I cut your tongue."

There was a slightly knowing hum from the other end of the line – regardless of the fact that the voice was emitting through the cellular network – as Lavi ignored his words like usual. Kanda had threatened to torture him, kill him or both so many times it didn't have any effect nowadays. Not that it ever had, which was probably the greatest reason for the Japanese's headaches.

"Yeah, sure thing. So –" Kanda's brows knitted together in annoyance as Lavi halted for some reason."- what did you call me for?" The rest of the words were somewhat muffled, making it clear he was eating something.

"Che. Don't talk while you're eating, it's disgusting."

"You called me so you could tell me that? Are you sure you're not sick, Yuu-chan?"

Crushing the cup in his hand Kanda glared the table, every single pit of the previous tiredness gone, flew out the window in order to get as far a way as possible from the homicidal man. Trust the rabbit to get his mood back to what it normally was: ruined. Why had he called him again? Oh yeah, the old bookworm couldn't deliver today's report so he just have to give it straight to the idiot.

What a pain in the ass.

"Listen now, usagi. Firstly, if you want the easy way out just ask, 'cause I'd be more than _enthusiastic_ to obligate. Secondly, in case you _don't_ want to mess things up, stop prattling and start paying attention. Thirdly, if there's someone else hearing this, kick them out of the damn house, _now_."

"How'd you know I'm at my place?" the cheerful tone backfired and Kanda could hear the wide smirk in the redhead's voice. "I could be anywhere. Unlike you, I have a life."

"I _had_ a life until you got the terrific idea of forcing this damned task onto me", he hissed, all but in the verge of explosion. If the baka usagi wouldn't stop _right now_, nobody would be remembering the day when those fucking towers came down. Not even the ones that fell with them.

"Wasn't my idea, buddy."

"Give me the evidence."

"I would, but I think I'd lose my job. The real one," Lavi declared happily as ever. "And then I wouldn't be able to see Lenalee, you know. She's such a pretty thing…"

Kanda nearly groaned. If the rabbit wasn't stopped soon, there would be no end to it. He had once let the idiot go on thinking he could ignore the harangue and that was probably the most painful hour of his life. He _would not_ repeat that grave mistake again. Lavi was walking, talking proof that whoever was in control of this damned universe sure as hell hated him.

So to evade the torture of listening to the lecture about how glorious Lenalee Lee was, Kanda did the only thing he could think of doing.

"Shut the fuck up, baka usagi!"

The voice crackled, reaching the redhead's end as a shattered yell and for the Japanese's great satisfaction a loud yelp emitted from the rabbit. Then came the sound of something crashing against a hard surface and right after it metallic clatter. His lips twitched up into a smug smirk, when Lavi's muttered curses floated from the phone.

"Yuu-chan", the overly dramatic wailing banished Kanda's momentarily good mood. "You didn't have to shout like that. I would've heard anyway!"

"Che, I told you to shut up. This is about work."

Well now, _that_ cut to the crap.

"Work? What is it?"

"Is there anyone else?"

At that Lavi laughed casually, as if he was asking the most idiotic thing in the world. "Hey, I'm not so dense that I'd talk about work if there was someone else here, Yuu-chan. The fact that I like enjoying myself doesn't mean I let every date know about my jobs."

"Che. No, just the ones that are good enough in bed, _rabbit_", Kanda remarked sardonically although he knew the redhead didn't blab on important matters to anyone. Nevertheless he didn't give Lavi a chance to defend himself before proceeded on. "Your old man won't be able to deliver the report today, so we have to skip one link in the chain."

"You know, this is kind of amateurish", the suddenly way more serious voice of his coworker stated. "We're like breaking rules all the time. It's not that I believe anybody keeps an eye on the kid, but still… Jeez, I just don't like this."

Kanda frowned, catching a part of Lavi's sentence. "What do you mean 'all the time'?"

Silence.

"Baka usagi…"

"Uh, it's nothing, it's nothing. Just forget I ever said that. So the report?"

He'd eat Mugen, if Lavi wasn't hiding something from him, something that was either a heavy stumble with a serious affair or just simply so idiotic his brains would melt from hearing it. Knowing the usagi, probably the latter – no matter how much it irked Kanda, the redhead did never made mistakes in anything else than overestimating the length of his so called best friend's nerves. Frowning he pondered whether or not to pry on the words, but decided pretty fast that it was just a waste of time and breath. _And_ patience.

"Che. Whatever. Nothing new has happened, apart from the fact that the brat is acting even more timid and hell if I know how that's possible." Kanda let his gaze shift around the large room in a bored manner, not really looking anything. This was potentially the foulest task anyone had pushed onto him, including the thing with that crazy doll-guy. "He didn't say or do anything worth mentioning yesterday."

"Got it", Lavi muttered obviously scratching down the information. "You know, Yuu", the guy went on thoughtfully. "Are you sure you're not being too hard on the boy? He's… This ain't his fault, you know. You don't need to scare him shitless or anything."

"Don't fucking tell me how to do my own job", Kanda growled right back. He knew what he was doing and he knew it best, that's why he'd gotten this damned task in the first place – he was on top and no one stayed there without a reason. "Just take care of your part in this; I'd hate it if everything backfired because of your sorry ass."

"Calm down, calm down!" the redhead tried to pacify him, all the time laughing blithely. "I'm only saying. It wouldn't be very nice if the target –"

A soft click alerted Kanda, his head snapping towards the empty doorway. Quiet footsteps were nearing, making him scowl in irritation. Che, what a perfect timing. Living with that Moyashi would sure as hell be a pain in the neck even if the mission hadn't obliged him to do all those fucking stupid things… Whatever. "The brat's up. I got to go." And without another word he hung up.

Just as Kanda dropped the phone back to the table and took the first sip from his tea, the boy came into view, cautiously glancing at the room before stepping in. He was wearing the jumper Kanda had bought for him and looked more drained than normally. Catching his thoughts the dark-haired frowned in annoyance and grumbled an insult too silently for the boy to hear. He shouldn't be thinking about 'normality' yet – they'd been living under the same roof only a little bit over a week and that wasn't nearly enough to start talking about knowing anyone. Far less when that someone you were supposed to familiarize yourself with was as withdrawn as the Moayshi.

Che. Even his sub-consciousness was trying to rush things in order to have this job done.

A faint smirk tugged his lips as Kanda's eyes focused on the kid's bowed head. All about the boy was literally screaming submission, but guess the brat hadn't had a choice. Well whatever, that would just make things easier for him.

Now, time to make the mouse sing.

~XxX~

"What? Don't kid me", Kanda scoffed staring at Allen with expression that was likely supposed to be incredulous. "Even kids in the elementary school know better than that."

They were sitting on the couched again, the TV showing some soap opera from the eighties, though the Japanese had turned the volume down so the actors stormed mutely around in the decors, looking rather dumb. Allen was hiding behind his bangs, had been during the entire conversation and wasn't intending to stop anytime soon – talking with Kanda was already hard enough, but facing his sharp eyes while being questioned…? No way was he doing that.

Albeit, the mockery in the man's voice was starting to slowly get on his nerves. Why was Kanda so obligated to talk with him anyway? From how he'd acted earlier, the taller male thought him as an annoying little twit, barely worth keeping.

"Do you even know who Hitler is?"

For gods sake, that was a little too much no matter how stupid he was assumed to be. _Everybody_ knew who that guy was. "Of course I know who he is", Allen muttered, scowling at the floor and swallowing the edginess from his voice.

"Oh, really? Then when was he born?"

The gray eyes twitched and in some corner of his mind the pale boy thanked half-heartedly gods for letting his hair be long enough for hiding. He'd be damned if Kanda saw his expressions vary. It was something that _wasn't _supposed to happen, but it still did and for the love of God it could cause him a lot of hell to pay off if he was caught. The man was sometimes just simply too much to take.

"Well? What is it?"

Screw it. Kanda _so_ enjoyed this. Allen could swear the man looked smug.

"I don't remember."

"Che. Don't claim something if you can't fuckin' prove it", the older one snorted, eyeing him under the sleek bangs. Despite the efforts Allen could just barely keep himself from fidgeting. There was something unnervingly calculating in the man's gaze, as if he looked straight trough his skin, seeing every single part of his body. Then Kanda blinked and the feeling was gone, irritation flowing back to banish the remains of the anxiety.

"I know that Hitler was the leader of the Nazi Germany before and during the World War Two." Allen couldn't help but answer, though he made sure to keep his tone meek. Just replying to the Japanese's comment stirred up a thrill in him and proceeding any further was definitely off-limits – if he didn't watch where he was going, this could end up badly.

"No shit, Sherlock", Kanda muttered wryly, rolling his eyes. "Tell me something I don't know."

"Well, I haven't exactly studied for five years, so it's not such a surprise I have holes in my knowledge." And where that came from Allen had no idea. Neither did he know at which point his brain had told his mouth to say it. Or had they? Though that was a highly unnecessary fact right at the moment.

Kanda's eyebrows rose, royally sarcastic look on his amused features, other corner of the pallid lips twitching upwards. Overall the expression pulled off a rather malicious appearance, and the way Allen was hundred percent sure that the man was going to say something he wouldn't like hearing didn't help at all. He opened his mouth, though only for vain as Kanda managed to speak faster.

"Oh, _really_? Wasn't that a big surprise for everyone, you dense moron."

'_How can he turn _everything_ I say against me? Gods…"_

Not waiting for an answer the Japanese went on, starting to look more bored than anything. "Then again, why would someone like you be even remotely intelligent? This is probably the only job you've ever had enough competence to do, so better be grateful for you're position."

"What… do you mean?"

"Che. Cases as hopeless as you aren't worth the effort. All of the people like you should be thanking your 'employers' just simply for being alive, far more for being _taken care of_." The man snorted irreverently. "You don't deserve better treatment."

Allen was nearly dumbstruck, too bewildered to do or say anything. It wasn't like he had expected anything nice or civil from Kanda's part, let alone credit of any sort, but this… this just didn't _fit_. He was good at judging human nature, knew what kind of personalities people around him had. In a way, it was like understanding language – when you got the basic idea, rest of the picture wasn't so hard to figure out. And then there was Kanda. For heavens sake, that man just… wasn't what he was!

"Che. Anybody with even the tiniest bit of capability wouldn't let themselves sink as low as your kind has. People never get less than they deserve." The look on the older male's face was one of disdain, and Allen could hardly refrain from the sudden burst of indignation. Kanda spoke like that what you would become was decided the moment of your birth, like it was something inevitable, impossible to change. As if anybody was born to be a whore. World might be cruel and cold, but it didn't define your life no matter how crappy the opportunities you were given were.

"Maybe I'm not worth anything more than what I already have, but I didn't make these decisions. Weak, defenseless, they're never the ones to judge." He knew it would've been better to not to speak, not to defend himself. But he just couldn't simply shut up. The frown on his face was deepening, even if he didn't let Kanda see it. "Those who have most strength are the ones making rules and everybody else is obliged to play along whether they want to or not."

"Che. That's just the way things work."

"I know, but if only those who're already fine are represented the ones in more feeble position will suffer." He was acting stupid now, pressing on matters that weren't important at all.

Mocking smirk painted the man's face as he slashed the counterattack right back to Allen's face. "You never asked why, brat? Weaklings aren't worthy of power. That's one of the laws of nature, this society of ours is just a distorted flaw which will be gone eventually." Kanda shrugged his shoulders, cocking his head just the slightest of fraction, eyes tainted with arrogance. "People like you are just meant to serve those who have the potential to be something."

He stared right at that black gaze, filled with self-confidence and mockery. There was no way the man could be serious, yet his eyes stated so. "How…" Allen bit back the nearly said question and stuttered to find something else to say, "How d-do you classify people then? How can you just decide that someone is weak whilst someone else is strong, that that's the reason why someone is only qualified to be a slave? That's violating human rights."

'_How can you say that? Believe in that?'_

"Human rights are bunch of bullshit. Whoever came up with that idea should've been put into mental hospital and left to die", Kanda taunted rolling his eyes, looking like he was stating the most obvious thing in the world. Allen didn't even realize as his expression turned to an offended one, didn't remember that he wasn't supposed to have opinions.

"Human rights were made so everyone could have equal possibilities in their lives. They're not ridiculous. They secure changes for those who're born in unstable situations."

"Life isn't fair, dimwit. Equality is shit if the sides aren't equal in reality."

"I know very well that life isn't fair, thank you. But without equality how could anyone ever chance their lives? They'd be born to a certain class without any opportunity to rise. That doesn't, _can't_, define what you are." There was edge in his voice, albeit he didn't hear it. "No one's… _destined_ to be anything."

Letting out a haughty snort Kanda crossed his arms over his chest and leant back. "Destined?" he repeated sardonically. "Who the hell talked about destiny or any crap like that? You either are or aren't weakling and that's it. Everything else depends solely on that how you can manage with what you have." Another roll of eyes. "What separates runts from rulers is _will_. Without it you get to nowhere and weaklings _don't_ have it." And then the man smirked, looking more smug than anyone Allen had seen since Cross. "_Weaklings_ don't think for themselves, they do like others say, obey without question. That's what makes them so pathetic."

He nearly glared. "If you're cowed the only chance you have is to yield. It's not necessarily weakness, its rationality."

The complacent expression didn't falter, quite the opposite. "Even the strong ones can be surprised, but what marks the difference between them and wimps is that they get themselves out of that situation, while weaklings just whine." A short pause. "You're just like that."

Allens hands clenched into fits, jaw stiffened, eyes narrowed until only sliver of gray was seen. "Then what do you want me to do?" he hissed, not hearing his own words, a stem of anger and frustration rushing trough his veins, voice rising with every word. "What do you _expect_ me to do? Get into an argument with you? Fight with you?! I can't! I'm a goddamn –!"

And like having crashed into a wall Allen cut himself off, eyes widening in shock and realization as he understood what he was saying, understood he was practically yelling to _his owner_. Breath hitching in his throat, he stared at Kanda with unseeing eyes, his body freezing as dread took over and forced everything else aside until the only thing registering in his mind was plain, pure horror.

'_Please, Lord, have mercy on me…'_

~XxX~

And now I deeply apologize for Kanda's over epicly lame replic. It's horrible. -.- Please, make my day better by reviewing! It won't take long!


	8. Chapter 8

//Okay! Betaed version here! Anyway, sorry for those I haven't had time to respond and also for those who were waiting for sex - not coming yet. Though, there should be some in the next chapters. (At the moment, Kanda's having an inner dilemma with the said subject.)

Also, I'll be participating in NaNoWriMo (to get some of my other works finished), so November will most likely be... forlorn when it comes to Property. Sorry. Though, I'm trying to write the ninth chapter before that. That's all... I think.

**Warnings:** Panicing, probably weird behavior, begging, cursing, suspiciously quick development... so on.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DGM anymore than I can speak Irish and I don't speak it.

**~XxX~**

**Chapter 8**

**Of Mercy**

**~XxX~**

To say Allen Walker was a coward was a misconception. To say he was a weakling was even greater delusion. But to say he didn't have fear was probably the most massive lie anyone could've said about him. Because Allen Walker very much was a fearful person when it came to situations which would most likely lead to pain on his part.

Contrary to what one would probably think, he didn't bend as easily as it might seem like – after all, what did it matter if you got on your hands and knees without meaning a thing you indicated? It was nearly ridiculously easy to beg for absolutely _anything_ so to get something you needed, after you first time learned to yield in circumstances where you would've still been able to fight back. Somehow it just appeared to be insanely hard to understand that _pretending_ something was so damn far away from actually _meaning_ it.

Then again, someone who knew how difficult it had been to make the pale boy surrender back when he'd still been living with his foster father, would presumably be quite shocked to see just how easily he could swallow his pride and submit to other's will nowadays. Despite it was only a show.

However, whether or not the things Allen did in order to make his life bearable were only acting, he didn't _like_ doing them. Even if he could pretend well enough to fool his owners to believe he was sincere with his pleas, really meaning them, sometimes the act wasn't just an act – sometimes, driven by the fear of pain and death, he began meaning them, no longer capable of controlling his survival instincts and just _praying_ to be spared.

Needless to say he hated it.

And _right now_ Allen was near that limit.

His heart was beating in his ears like a drum, deafening rhythm bounding franticly fast inside him and even though the little rational part of his mind that _wasn't_ in a full panic mode kept telling him that it was all due to his overdrive senses, it felt like the whole world around him was pulsating with the same pace. Not that Allen really cared about the world at this point anyway – the only thing his widened eyes could see was Kanda and even the dark-haired man was blurry, mess of colors and shapes tossed into one stack. It felt same you would think someone who had been hit by a car feels right after the impact, lying on the ground, vision swaying from light too darkness and then maybe back, pain dull and remote, everything coming like from behind a thick layer of fog.

Only with the exception that when you're in an accident you don't normally feel much of emotions, or if you do they're not necessarily the ones you rationally thinking _should_ feel. And the thin boy was very certainly _feeling_ right now, feeling more than he wanted to, feeling more than his mind could comprehend properly.

So, as Kanda slowly stood up, Allen's fear reached the frigid, hoar state of horror which freezes its victims alive and leaves them helplessly to the predators. It's the condition when you can't do anything else than stare right ahead of yourself, wait for your numb body to start functioning again, all the while hoping your brains will recover before it's too late. It's that feeling in the back of your mind, the tickling in your neck right before all the ghost stories that weren't supposed to be true come to life.

And the terrified boy was overwhelmed by that feeling as his owner walked ominously towards him, taking his sweet time to prolong the torturous wait. His heart was up in his throat, suffocating him, his large, gray eyes staring nearly blindly at the man's waist. He couldn't move, couldn't even flinch.

"Hn?" The nearly soft syllable reached Allen's ears with slightly, only slightly amused tone. "What was that?"

His mouth opened, just a little, but no word came out.

"Well", now Kanda was whispering, bending down closer to him. "Answer." The tip of his fingers touched the boy's nearly white cheek and it was like a shock of electricity coursing through him. The horror binding him gave in enough to let his body move again and before Allen knew it he was on his knees on the floor, right in front of the Japanese, head bowed down.

"Please, I'm sorry", he spoke, words rushed, voice frantic and hoarse with fear. "I didn't mean it, I wasn't thinking. Please. Forgive me." He didn't care he was begging, sincerely pleading without any trace of deceit. "Please, I swear I didn't mean any of it. I… I just… I just don't know –."

"Didn't mean it?" Kanda interrupted his rambling and Allen froze when he heard the caustic tone. "The _fuck_ you didn't mean it. That was probably the only damn thing you've actually meant ever since you came here."

"No, no. It isn't. Please…"

"Don't you dare to lie to me!" the man hissed fiercely and for some reason he sounded nearly frustrated. Like he had gotten something and then lost it right away. "I _know_ it when people try to screw with me and you aren't even average."

Breath hitching in his throat Allen tried to find a way out of the situation. He _had to_ make things work somehow – everything just couldn't be ruined now, not when his life was finally tolerable, congenial even. But Kanda was making things so damn hard. "I-I didn't mean it like that", he tried, desperately clinging onto any possible change there was. "I –."

"You just don't know when to stop, do you?"

Allen clutched the mat with his hands, shaking his head as the spiteful words once again cut him off. "Please, Kanda", he could hear the hopelessness in his own voice. "Please, let me explain myself. I swear I didn't mean it like that." Oh God, how many rules he was going to break today? How many had he already broken? "Please, Kanda." The words were quivering and suddenly he became very aware of how pathetic he must've looked there, begging on his knees.

"Then what the hell did you mean?"

'_Oh Lord, whoever is up there, I love you.'_

"I-I… I just don't know… what… I'm supposed to do. I…" Allen shut his eyes, head dropping even lower. "I don't understand what you mean when you tell me stop acting."

"What the hell does it sounds like?!" the man snapped, making him flinch. "It's fucking plain English, there's nothing incoherent in it! You _can't_ be so dense you don't get it."

"Please, Kanda -!"

"What?!"

Allen nearly felt like crying. He had started trembling ever so slightly, the sharp intake of breath causing pain in his lungs. He knew he wasn't being himself but the fear and desperation were burning too fiercely in his veins, stirring up waves of shame with increasing force until he was shivering and choking.

"Kanda, I'm _a_ _whore_! It's my job to act, it's my _duty_!" His voice was shaking unsteadily, strangled. "Just please, Kanda _please_ tell me what you want me to be! I can't read your mind, I can't know how I'm meant to act if you don't tell it to me." Trying to swallow the lump in his throat he shook his head again and with a whisper continued, "Please. Tell me what to be."

'_This is pathetic. _I_ am pathetic.' _

"Idiot", the almost dull grumble made him jump ever so slightly. "Stop pretending means stop pretending and that's it. So stop doing it." Kanda didn't sound angry anymore – just a little tired and maybe briefly irritated. It was as if he was explaining something simple to a child who had done wrong without realizing it and that made the humiliation all the more excruciating. Regardless of the shame Allen still forced himself to continue.

"But… but what if you don't like it?"

A deep, annoyed sigh emanated from the Japanese hovering above him. "Che. It doesn't matter _what_ you're like so long you're yourself, stupid brat. If you keep acting someone you're not, you won't respond properly to anything." A snort, almost amused. "And in case you're being too annoying I can always lock you up into your room."

Allen stared at the carpet, stunned by what the man was saying. It was senseless, crazy – Kanda couldn't possibly _really_ mean he wanted him to be… to stop pretending. Or could he? But… no, it didn't make sense. Damn it, nothing made sense! It was all berserk, lunatic and here he was, supposed to understand something of it. It – didn't – make – sense! God, why, why, why, _why_…?

"B-but why?" And before his mind caught his mouth the second stupidest thing he could do had been done.

'_Never ask why, dimwit!'_

"Che."

"S-sorry! It's none of my -!"

"Because I hate dolls."

A silence settled over them as Kanda yet again cut the boy and this time Allen didn't even try to continue, afraid of uttering something suicidal. For a couple of second neither of them said anything, the white-haired boy still feeling the older one's eyes on him. He was just barely able to force himself to stay motionless under the gaze, let alone ease off the nervous tingling that stirred over his skin. Though, he quickly forgot that as a quiet grumble broke the silence and strong arms grabbed a hold of his shoulders pulling him swiftly up.

"Che. Baka Moyashi…"

~XxX~

Kanda stared down at the white head nearly gritting his teeth, brows furrowed in frustration. Screw it, he'd been so close, so fucking close that it was goddamn infuriating. The kid had come out, shouted at him, yelled out his own anger – and now he was on his knees in front of him, not daring to speak anymore, all of the work drain to nothing. Even better, the only one Kanda could blame for it was he himself. It was his fucking fault the boy had gone back to the timid, fearful brat just as he'd started to show some resistance.

Unusual enough, the Japanese couldn't hold on to his anger for long – he felt tired, fed up, little irritated and even slightly regretful but not angry. The small figure of that damned Moyashi in front of him, practically radiating submission was somehow able to wilt every fragment of fury, leaving him calmer than a good hour of meditation. Grumbling a silent insult under his breath he bent down and lifted the surprisingly light boy up.

"Che. Baka Moyashi…" As the low mutter made the kid raise his head Kanda found himself staring down at the widened, gray eyes, filled with astonishment, anxiety and – even if it was almost completely hidden – shame. Beneath it all there was fear, insecurity that didn't only transmit through the boy's eyes, but was revealed by the subtle shaking of his body.

And that look gave Kanda the biggest – and possibly the only – pang of guilty in his entire life. It felt like someone stuck a needle through his throat.

"Listen, idiot. If you don't understand something, then ask. Got it? 'Cause I don't have enough patience to put up with your idiotic behavior, whenever you try to play on solo." Heck if he knew how his voice could sound so fucking _soft_, but at least it was working for him. "And I neither need you to get on your knees, twit."

Pale cheeks heated up slightly and the boy lowered his head in an attempt to hide behind the white bangs, albeit Kanda had enough time to notice the shameful, humiliated expression. Frowning he reached out to rub the slender shoulders before firmly pushing the kid towards the doorway. There wasn't anything else he could do right now to put things back to their course.

"Go to your room", he grunted, not looking at the back of the damned Moyashi that was and still wasn't solely responsible for this godforsaken situation they were both in. Kanda had already turned around, when the quiet, cautious voice broke through the silence.

"Th-thank you."

If Kanda had been anyone else, he would've probably jumped or maybe stiffened out of surprise. But being who he was, he just scowled and cast a look over his shoulder. The Moyashi had stopped on the doorway, staring tentatively towards the approximate direction of his feet. That was how it always went – he would stare right at the kid, while Allen just gazed somewhere _near_ him, almost never actually meeting his eyes.

"For what?"

And if the runt didn't already have enough annoying habits, then the senseless, completely irrelevant statements crowned the packet. Normally Kanda could figure people out pretty easily and in case it didn't work he was still able to carry out his missions for most of the time, but with the albino it was always like there was something… _more_, something that was so concealed it nearly even was there.

The boy blinked, gray eyes darting over the white mat until stopping to a spot couple inches away from the glass shelf that roughly separated the large room in two. "F-for… For not hurting me."

For a mere fraction of a second Kanda didn't know how to react, and it was then that he finally understood his own lack of knowledge about the pale boy, realized that whatever he thought he knew of him was just a scratch on the very likely masked surface. It was then when the Japanese saw just how much of an actor his current burden was – and he didn't like it in the least for it caused all the more work on him. Though, right now he had to make sure the kid hadn't _misunderstood_ anything.

"If I were you I wouldn't start testing my boundaries."

Allen grew tense faster than Kanda could click his tongue and with a rapid shake of his head the effeminately petite boy managed to give out an atmosphere of a scared prey. "I won't. There's nothing I could do anyway, so it would all just be in vain."

"Che. Damn right. Now go."

Surely the kid obeyed, though it looked like he was halfway performing a bow before promptly turning around and disappearing from Kanda's sight. The Japanese stood on his tracks and just stared for a moment at the space where the other had been. Then the oncoming sting in his head managed to caught his attention for the great displeasure of the general world, since Kanda Yu and headache in the same sentence was never a good thing – not even when the former was the cause of the later.

Something akin to a sigh left the man's lips as he headed towards the blissfully dark bedroom, snatching a book from the library's desk on the way. No, the day hadn't gone like he had wanted it to go, but everything wasn't lost yet. In the best case, nothing serious damage had been done and his schedule would keep.

Nevertheless, whoever was the fuktard that had made the _ingenious_ decision to give this job to him, would sooner or later pay, and pay _hard_, mark that. No one forced him to endure annoying runts for God knew how long without revenge.

Not even the usagi.

~XxX~

His hand was shaking.

Gray eyes unblinking, pale lips slightly parted and the said limb stretched out to pick up the teacup that kindly stood in its place on the table Allen ceased his movements. For a second he simply stared at the faintly trembling arm, somewhat dumbfounded by it. Then he frowned gently, annoyed for the quivering that didn't stop even though he tried to will it away. It just wouldn't do if his body stopped listening what he told it.

"Oi, did your brain finally drop dead?"

Jumping Allen raised his eyes up from the still stretched out body part to the dark gaze of the Japanese man sitting across him. Kanda had held up a brow and was looking him half mocking, half irritated expression on his face, eyes challenging – demanding – a remark. Quickly Allen grabbed a hold of the mug and drew it closer to himself just like a child would've pulled a stuffed animal against their chest, nearly stuttering out an apology. At the last moment he, however, bit it back and replaced it with a more toneless answer.

"No, it didn't."

The black gaze narrowed as the man knitted his brows together, estimating. "You were going to say 'sorry'", he stated coldly. "And no reason to try and deny it, Moyashi. It's written all over your face."

Allen blinked, spending a moment to examine whether or not Kanda was telling the truth, albeit in the end he couldn't be entirely sure, so he just settled down to answering truthfully. "Yes, but I didn't."

The man just frowned at him slightly annoyed look in his eyes. "Che. Obviously. And it wasn't a fucking question, so don't state facts unnecessarily. It's irritating and dumb."

'_You were practically daring me to deny it!'_

"I will", he muttered an answer, gaze dropping to the teacup in his hands. Cautiously he took a sip, even though the liquid was still burning hot. Nevertheless it was better to at least try to conceal the slightly wry tone of his voice. But when had the gods been congenial to him?

Something akin to smugness passed through the man's features as his lips twitched up to a half-smirk, and Allen's hand – still shaking fractionally – nearly froze in the midway between his mouth and the table. "That wasn't what you thought, Moyashi."

The cup never reached its destination as he brought right away back to his lips, hoping pointlessly to deceive Kanda from seeing his sudden shock and uncertainty about the circumstances the Japanese had thrown him in. There was a little stretched moment of silence.

"Spit it out."

"Uh…" Why, oh _why_ was he unable to function properly? "Well…"

"Hn?"

'_You are a pain in my ass _and_ in my neck, Bakanda. Could you kindly stop being the later? 'Cause I'm more used to the first one.'_

"It sounded like you expected a respond", was the final, flat reply that left from Allen's lips. Obviously Kanda didn't buy it, seeing how mockingly irreverent expression made its way to the man's face, a hint of amused question mixed within. He could have sworn the older male nearly sneered.

"Don't take me as a fool, idiot. Being brainless is your specialty."

The boy raised his eyes slowly up, meeting his owner's dark ones with bland though docile countenance. His heart was beating little faster than normal and the skin of his hands was cold for he wasn't sure if he should do this, go along with Kanda's game. However, the look in those usually intimidating eyes was nearly instigating, as if to give him the permission to proceed forward. Feeling uncertainty creep up his spine Allen cocked up a brow and did his best to not look as tremulous as he felt.

"You want an honest answer, then?" Thankful for his acting skills he kept confronting the dark gaze, willing his gloved hands to stop shaking. To Allen's greatest relief a brief, almost pleased expression glittered past Kanda's features before vanishing to nothing. Nevertheless it had been there and he could relax just a bit.

"Finally starting to grasp the idea", the Japanese snorted, though his tone wasn't as rough as it had been before. Guess yesterday had been some sort of an crossroad for them – but to what was still to be discovered. At least it seemed like Kanda had decided to overlook his mistake and leave the whole subject aside.

Heaving silently a sigh Allen pushed the more or less unpleasant memories to the back of his mind and concentrated on his words. "In that case, with all respect, I rather keep it to myself." After a short pause, to lessen the defiance of the sentence, he added: "Feel free to ignore my opinion."

"I feel free to ignore _everything_ what _anyone_ thinks", Kanda taunted through a fairly scornful sneer. "And you're definitely not any fucking different."

Allen blinked shortly at the man before letting his eyes glide towards the kitchen counter, ever so slightly sarcastic look on his face. Then, with just enough submissiveness in the general atmosphere his appearance was giving off, he muttered the next words out, making sure the little displayed audacity was evidently just acting. "Expect for the fact that I just have to swallow it up when everybody else can go yelling at you, if they want."

The raised eyebrow did nothing to slow down his escalated heartbeat. Damn it to hell, why couldn't he read Kanda any better? He'd end up dying out of strain, if this kept going.

"Che. Stop weeping, Moyashi. Self-pity doesn't suit anyone."

A deep, mental sigh.

"I was just stating the facts."

"Did I ask for them?"

"Well sorry, I didn't hear you telling me to shut up."

~XxX~

Alright, there you had it. Please leave a comment.

And also, if anyone wonders, I kind of think that the shaking of Allen's hand displays the insecurity he's feeling subconsciously. In away, he just pushes unpleasant memories and events aside so he can concentrate on the moment and keep up the act, but at the same time those things stay there dragging him slowly down. That will come ahead in some point of the story (I think) but at the present time, Allen just dowplays his feelings and does as he's told to do.


	9. Chapter 9

Okay, I hope this didn't take too long. I tried to be fast. ^^ So, after this there's going to be a gap in the updates as I'm now writing NaNo (which, by the way, is another Yullen story, so if it doesn't end up being a total failure, I think I'll publish it after a **good** rewriting session) and it will take most of my current time among with school. There's some progress in this chapter and some more will come in next and together their some sort of an crossroad, I think. Thanks really, really much for everyone who reads and/or reviews, they honestly keep me up and writing sometimes.

Also, thanks to **XD-chan** for betaing this. (The better version of the last chapter is also updated.)

**Warnings:** Kanda's mouth as usual, some blunt behavior I think and... um... I don't know. Nothing really?

**Disclaimer:** No, I still don't own and I never will, thank you very much.

**~XxX~**

**Chapter 9**

**Encounters**

**~XxX~**

"_You sure?"_

"If I wasn't, I hadn't fucking said anything."

_"Yeah, but Yuu-chan –."_

"You fucking call me that again and I –!"

"_Quit it you two! We don't have time for that, there are more important matters here."_

"Che."

"_Sorry, miss."_

"_Oh, drop it Lavi. You're making me feel old."_

Rolling his eyes Kanda crossed his arms over his chest and leant backwards. The old bookworm was drinking idly tea next to him, seemingly paying little to no attention to the computer on the low table in front of them, while in fact there was nothing his eyes didn't catch. Kanda sure as hell wasn't jealous; he could go just fine without noting all the idiots around him.

"_But we're supposed to be at work! I can't go around saying 'Lena'! Komui would kill me!"_

"_Brother would kill you anyway, if he knew how you act."_

"_But I haven't done anything!"_

"Expect for being a total idiot who don't know when to stop with the witless jokes."

"_Ow, Yuu-chan! You hurt my feelings!"_

"Don't change the topic, you foolish brats."

The scathing command spoken with just slightly raised tone of voice made Kanda snort in annoyance. He didn't like hearing people call him a fool or a brat, but the bookworm ranged currently above him and therefore he was obliged to follow his orders. In theory at least.

Though, at the moment that theory was working.

"_Nee, don't be so stiff, Panda-jiji." _

"_I though you were supposed to be at work, Lavi."_

The baka usagi faked an overdramatic pout apparently trying to look pitiful or something shit like that, for all Kanda cared. Needless to say it didn't work. In fact it was almost too pathetic to be irritating. _Almost_. So gritting his teeth he leaned closer to the computer screen that showed the image of the two other fieldworkers. Both Lenalee and Lavi seemed to grow cautious as he glared at the point where the nearly microscopic camera was located.

"Shut the fuck up", Kanda hissed more than just a little annoyed. "I don't want to spend any-fucking-more time with this than I have to, so stop talking and _get to business_." As he pulled away from the computer the tension of his muscles came obvious, along with it the incipient headache. Growling he reverted back to his previous position, angrily tapping the tip of his finger against the dark fabric covering his arms. Just great, so _fucking_ great. Sometimes he doubted if there really _was_ someone up there after all, 'cause seriously it felt like he had a goddamn personal nemesis somewhere ruining his entire life.

Maybe it was the rabbit.

"_Seems like Yuu-chan got up on the wrong side of bed."_

And if it wasn't then the idiot sure as hell came as a good second.

"Baka usagi…"

Lenalee sighed tugging a lock of hair behind her ear – though for vain as the short curl fell back to its original place at the moment the woman lowered her hand. _"Lavi, give it a rest. So, Kanda… Are you absolutely sure about it? Is there anyway you could be mistaken?"_

"I'm as sure as I fucking can with that brat", he snapped frowning. "It's not like I can go around _asking_ things all the time, unless I want my cover blown." Lenalee looked somewhat taken aback, but the slightly dubious expression didn't falter, making Kanda glower. "Look, the brat was as distant as usual, just staring at the floor and doing nothing. Heck, he probably didn't even _see_ the TV. And then that interview pops up, with all that shit about some freaking multimillion dollar company and he's like a fucking deer in headlights. I don't know what that guy has to do with him, but the brat sure as hell knows him from somewhere."

Lenalee exhaled deeply, staring grimly at nothing before shaking her head with incredulity. "Kanda, if what you're saying is true, then we might have a bigger thing in our hands than what we can hold. Tyki Mikk is a powerful person, even I can say that much and it's very likely that I don't have the slightest idea of just _how_ powerful."

"Che…"

Bookman set the Chinese teacup down to the table, giving off an air that demanded attention so piercingly it would make Kanda's college history teacher snarl in jealousy. Sometimes he wondered why the hell hadn't the old man become a professor of some sort, 'cause if there was anyone whose essence screamed 'lecturer' louder than that gaffer's then he seriously doubted he'd be able to stand that person without crapping Mugen and cutting someone.

Teachers were something Kanda avoided like plague if it was possible.

"Tyki Mikk, age twenty-nine, originally Portugese", not so unexpectedly Bookman began a harangue. "Has at the present time nationality of the United States of America and has been the head of NOAH-company's Asia branch for seven years. Is very likely that he got the position because of his contacts to the company's other shareholders. Owns residences in Asia, Europe and the USA, spends most of his time in India but travels regularly. Is constantly –"

"How is that essential to us?" Kanda snapped, pressing the bridge of his nose to relieve the ache pulsating in his head. "Tell something that matters, goddamnit. I don't want to listen to some irrelevant shit about some freaky millionaire. Fucking aristocrats."

"_Actually Tyki Mikk isn't from aristocratic family. According to what is known, he grew up in rather –."_

"I don't fucking care where he grew up!"

Kanda could've skinned someone. He hated when the rabbit started lecturing. It was almost more annoying than the over energetic, vivacious Duracell-bunny behavior into which Lavi lapsed every now and then. And _that_ was a hell on Earth. The idiot should just leave teaching to godforsaken _teachers_ and simply _shut up_ for a change; so maybe, fucking _maybe_ he wouldn't need to endure constant headache.

"_Yuu-chan!" _came the wailing that didn't match the usagi's grinning face. _"You're so mean! The poor man had a hard childhood and there you are, being all heartless and insensitive! Think about his fe-!" _

"I will never understand how you got the best grades of your age group with that stupidity of yours", Kanda scoffed voice dripping venom. "That 'poor man with a hard childhood' is, in case you _forgot_ –" At this point Lavi started to seriously wonder would the Japanese be able to break the commonly known fact that _looks can't kill_. "- potential candidate to be the brat's former owner. _Excuse me_ for not sympathizing with him."

There was a soft sigh before Lenalee spoke out. _"Honestly, Kanda. No need to spit your words out, we'll get the message anyway. And Lavi, stop fooling around. You know he's not in the mood for your jokes."_

"_Aye aye, miss!"_

"_Lavi!"_

"Che."

This wasn't going anywhere. Damn the headache, damn the usagi, damn the whole fucking mission. He had known Lavi since high school and Lenalee from the college when she had moved to the States after school, and he was _still_ stuck with them. Well fine, Lenalee was tolerable most of the time; at least she did her work and was good at it – a fact that raised her points in Kanda's eyes. Be that as it may, the _problem_ here wasn't the Chinese woman but the _idiot rabbit_. He just didn't get rid of Lavi. Wherever he went, whatever he did and whoever he was with, somehow the usagi always found him. And didn't _leave him the hell alone_. Just so fucking terrific.

"How many times have you slept with him since the first time?"

Everyone… paused.

'…_the hell?'_

Or well, not everyone since Bookman kept sipping his tea eyes closed, appearing to be perfectly placid as if he just hadn't asked whether or not Kanda had _fucked _the goddamn_ kid_ more than once. Finders clutching his arms with scarcely controlled fury Kanda gritted his teeth and tried not to twitch. However, keeping the tone of his voice impassive turned out to be impossible.

"I… haven't."

The blank expression on the old man's face didn't change. "How do you intended to keep your cover if you don't? After all, that is what the boy believes you've bought him for." Another draught of tea. "You're not doing your job very efficiently, Kanda Yu."

His eyes narrowed until only a thin line of dark blue was seen, anger clear in his eyes. "Don't start judging the quality of my job anymore than my customs if you don't want to deal with the task yourself", he hissed. "The Moyashi isn't as simple as you think he is. This takes time."

"_Moyashi?"_

"I do not judge, Kanda Yu, I merely state the facts", the man replied blandly. "This project has a deadline and if there are no results by that time, it will be put down. Getting results depends on you. Therefore, you're mainly responsible of the outcome."

"_Beansprout?"_

"The brat will talk", Kanda answered, eye twitching in irritation and anger. He didn't need anyone probing into his business, much less advising him with them. "So keep your nose out of my way, old man. I can handle it on my own."

"_You call him a beansprout?"_

"What the hell does it matter if I do, usagi?"

Lavi stared at him through the computer, amusement more than evident on his face with the way he was grinning like a lunatic. _"Man, I want to see that kid. You got to have some serious looks to get called a _beansprout_!"_

Frowning Kanda snorted. "Whatever. This meeting's over."

~XxX~

Allen was bored.

A state of being he had last time felt like it was _eons_ ago.

It wasn't that he always had something to do 'cause, honestly, he _didn't_, but more like this was the first time since he didn't remember when that he had enough of doing absolutely nothing. His life wasn't exactly _tiresome_ or _tedious_, more like _too damn exciting_ if anybody asked him – not that they did – and he could've done just fine with one which wasn't quite so _thrilling_, to say the least. So most of the time when he could just be, lazily sitting and drowsing somewhere, he took that time gladly and enjoyed it. However, the last couple of weeks had proved that even he could get tired of doing absolutely nothing.

Particularly when there weren't any injuries to bear.

Hence the sunny Saturday afternoon found Allen lying on his back in the middle of his room, staring absently at the ceiling and pondering over this and that. Sunlight played idly with the white, fluffy mat underneath him, warming his skin comfortably and lulling him into cozy drowsiness as he leisurely let his eyes fall shut. Behind the large windows a stormy gray pigeon landed on the balustrade of the unused balcony, bent its head from side to side and flew off.

Surely Allen normally tried to avoid unnecessarily musing for it easily distracted him from his surroundings, and that wasn't really a desired outcome. Kanda, however, wasn't present at the moment so he reckoned it would be fairly safe to daydream a little. He would hear the man coming after all, wouldn't he?

'_Though, that Bakanda can move pretty damn quietly.'_

Actually, as far as Allen could tell, by the way Kanda carried himself it was likely that he trained regularly. The man's movements resembled him distantly of Moore Hesse, the acrobatics teacher that had been in charge of his gymnastic team's training for nearly two years. It wasn't the same, though close enough for him to see the similarity. Not to mention his personal experience of just how strong Kanda could be if he felt like pinning someone down. The man would certainly be able to lift him without any trouble.

'_How _charming_…'_

On the other hand, there were malnourished teenage girls that could do the same, so it wasn't really such a great accomplishment no matter how you looked at it. Damn his body for being so petit. It really was a bitch…

"And just what the _fuck_ are you doing?"

With a startled yelp Allen scrambled to his feet and twirled around before the situation even had a change to register in his mind. Heart beating somewhere near his throat the boy stuttered incoherent syllables sounding suspiciously like the beginning of the word 'sorry', before he saw Kanda's knowingly raised eyebrow and somewhat shakily collected himself from the momentarily disarray.

"Y-you surprised me, Kanda."

There was incredulous look on the man's face as he leant against the door frame, snorting. "Che. More like scared the shit out of you", the Japanese corrected, rolling his eyes. "You really are deaf for not hearing me coming. Why the hell were you lying on the floor, anyway? Is the bed too soft or what?"

Allen sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I was just thinking, that's all", he started and after a quick decision continued. "It's not like have much else to do anyway when you're not around." Although, he kind of regretted that he did, seeing as an eerily mischievous smirk made its way to Kanda's face.

"Hn? How come?"

"Eh…" If it hadn't been for the five long years of learning to control his facial expressions, Allen's eye would've been twitching right about now. Was Kanda actually _insinuating_ something here? "I… well…" Though, it _was_ Kanda so maybe no after all. And playing dumb never hurt anyone. Or, actually, it did but whatever. "Cause I don't have anything to do…?"

Kanda looked like he couldn't believe him. Allen was sure it took lot of effort from his face to have such an expressive mien. "_No_, moron."

"Gazing skyscrapers gets boring after the first couple of hours?"

"You… Fuck it…"

He was nearly trembling from the force of the laughter that tried uselessly to broke free. Dear heavens, wonder how much more fun he could poke out of Kanda before entering the critical zone? It was a nice feeling, this hilarity, and he didn't want to let go of it even when the Japanese frowned at him.

But he wasn't supposed to act, now was he?

"Che. Come with me."

Allen blinked as Kanda turned around and headed out of the room, the composed exterior back on its place all of a sudden. Well, it seemed like he had managed to dodge the question just to get something else on his back. Not that he was too worried whatever it then might be, though _that_ was rather strange considering he normally fretted about absolutely anything if it somehow concerned him. Actually, now that he thought about it, he'd been like this for some days already – more carefree and loose, like at ease. And Kanda…

Kanda was taking it, taking it without a trace of discontent. Or any other feeling if it came to it. He was entirely undecipherable, acting as if nothing was different – on the other hand, maybe anything _wasn't_ from his point of view – to the extent that it affected Allen, creating an illusion of assurance for him.

But was Kanda doing it on purpose?

Unable to find answers at the moment, the pale boy shrugged his shoulders before hurrying after the man so not to fall behind. After all, whether or not the situation had changed Kanda was his owner and therefore he was expected to obey. And obey he would.

'_Damn pet.'_

Even if the fiasco from couple days ago seemed to have a positive influence in the end, Allen didn't want to repeat the experience. Not just because of the humiliation, but because there were no guarantees if the result would be even remotely same. It could just well end up disastrously and that wasn't something he wanted. The current conditions were good enough, there wasn't any reason for him to try and change it.

"Stop dawdling and get over here, baka!"

Rolling his eyes in disinterest Allen hastened his pace up to slow jogging and caught up with Kanda just as the man stepped into that strange, seemingly purposeless room, which only furniture was a black fitted carpet. Uncertain of what was the Japanese planning he followed couple steps behind, eyes fixed on the man's back as there really wasn't anything else worth of watching in the space. Approximately at the middle of the room Kanda came to a halt and turned around, starting to pull the boots from his feet.

"What do you know about martial arts?" he asked bluntly, taking Allen by surprise as the boy certainly hadn't been expecting that of all things. Blinking he stared at the Japanese for a second before remembering he actually needed to answer.

"Well…" he started scratching the back of his head. "Not that much really. Just some average information and beliefs. So…" Kanda's raised eyebrow made Allen turn his gaze evasively away from the obsidian eyes. "Er… Nothing actually."

"Che", the man snorted with slight irritation. "Guessed so." Tossing the shoes aside he straightened, regarding Allen with grim expression. "Do you have any background with exercising in general?"

"Five years in an acrobatic team."

Another snort and even though the look on Kanda's face wasn't exactly disapproving, it wouldn't have taken too much to get there. "Great", the man muttered sarcastically to himself before raising his voice back to the normal level. "We're going to spar and since you don't know how to, I'll go easy on you. Move your legs, keep your guard up and dodge as much as you can. If you see openings then go for it and cut the crap about whores and obeying and whatever the fuck, I don't care."

Nodding slowly Allen moved cautiously further into the room, keeping his gaze attentively at Kanda as he gradually got past him. The Japanese didn't even blink, just standing still on his tracks and waiting. He wasn't sure whether it meant the match hadn't started yet or that the man was just expecting him to lower his concentration so he could bring him down more quickly, albeit he would probably found it out soon enough.

This wasn't going to be easy.

Allen really hoped that the man was intending to keep his words – just the way Kanda stood, composition tenser and more alert than normal, eyes sternly calculating, told of his skills, and he sure as hell didn't want to be on the receiving end in case the Japanese felt like unraveling some stress. Not that he would anyway stand a change but at least it wouldn't hurt as much if Kanda didn't take things seriously.

'_On the other hand, does he ever take things any other way?'_

Circling in his thoughts Allen stayed alert, gaze intently trained on the long-haired male and fully intending to not let his caution lapse. Thus he was thoroughly astonished as all of a sudden Kanda had crossed nearly half of the distance between them before he could've even reacted to the man's first movement. Eyes widening in surprise Allen jumped backwards on a reflex, gaining couple seconds to think and then Kanda was on him.

The pale boy dodged to left in a rush, avoiding the Japanese's fist just barely, and was then forced to throw himself on the floor in an attempt of avoiding the other's foot. He got up as quickly as he could, spinning around so he was facing Kanda again, scarcely in time to evade yet another hit. Though, he didn't get a rest as the man kept on coming without a break, forcing Allen to back off with every step he took closer to him. There wasn't anything else the boy could do – Kanda was way too fast for him, everyone of the Japanese's moves flowing to the next in a fluent, beautiful cadence that made his dodging not just hard but also very graceless and ponderous, of that he was sure.

Another swift attack left Allen crashing on the floor, trying vehemently to roll away from Kanda. Already somewhat out of breath he clambered back on to his feet, just to fall back down as the older male tripped him.

''_If you saw an opening, then go for it'? Right… Do you even have a one?'_

Kanda stopped next to the helpless boy and kicked his side with a scowl on his face. "Is that all you've got, Moyashi? Get up and move your legs, douche bag!" the man barked out, emphasizing his words with another mild nudge of his foot on to Allen ribs. The boy felt like rolling his eyes.

'_Isn't there a little contradiction in that sentence's literary meaning?'_

Nevertheless, he got up.

And after a couple of seconds he was back down again.

This was going to hurt.

~XxX~

So, it's cliffhanger. But try to be happy, it's not very bad cliffhanger! And in case someone had noticed, Kanda sometimes uses somewhat... um... weird(?) choices of words when insulting. It's (on his part) unintentional as he just spats out the first thing to come in mind, which in times causes his insults be a little off... you could say. I think. Well, anyway please leave a comment and make me happy! :)

**SPOILER ALERT!!! (chapter 188)**

I just read the the chapter 188 and now I'm like freaking panicking in here! And the next one isn't comming until next month. Next month! And Kanda is freaking dying there! I don't know what I'll do, if he dies. He can't die. He can't fucking die! Somebody save me, I'm so killing my self here. Hoshino can't kill him, it's Kanda for fucks sake! Kanda! Kanda can't die! I'm dead if he dies. I'm so dead... Oh, please, I'm so totally messed up right now and I'm sorry for this rant here, but I honestly don't have anyone/anything else to say this.


	10. Chapter 10

Firstly, I'm so, so, so sorry this took like two months. But November went with NaNoWriMo and then December was filled with exams, and I was seriously stuch with writing sex from Kanda's point of view. T_T' But at least this is little longer than the other chapters have been. For those who have asked about my NaNo-story... I seriously don't know when I'm able to write it down. But anyway, thanks for everybody who has given me a comment, no writer can get enough of them. ^^ I'll try to update the next chapter ASAP.

And since my regular beta was buzy during holidays, thanks go to **Angel Fantasy** who was kind enough to do the job. :) Remaining mistakes are mine.

**Warnings:** Rather mild violence, sex and maybe - maybe! - just a little bit of unintended fluff.

**Disclaimer:** No, I still don't own DGM. But Kanda laughing is one of the best things I've ever seen.

**~XxX~**

**Chapter 10**

**Of Giving And Taking**

**~XxX~**

Kanda spun around, his hair swirling behind him along with his movements as he tracked the Moyashi's maneuvers to slip behind him. Sharp eyes caught a glimpse of white and without hesitation he lunged forward. The boy didn't have time to be surprised as his left arm grabbed a hold of the other's slender shoulder, slowing down the brat's pace enough for him to land a proper – though restrained – hit to his stomach.

The snow white head bowed down as the Brit bent over and vehemently gasped for air, one hand pressed against his midriff. Kanda was about to finish the task with a clean trip, when the boy let his legs give in under him, and even though he was quick to respond, the other managed to avoid the swift kick briefly.

Well, who would've thought, the kid was actually learning something.

Not that Kanda wasted time to useless thinking as he took off after Allen, who had turned out to be rather good at dodging, considering he didn't know practically anything about martial arts. Though, compared to someone with a better background in that aspect, he was just slightly above worthless. If the boy wasn't able to keep his distance long enough, it was plain effortless for Kanda to bring the brat down – and he was going easy on him. That was saying something.

Keeping the pace up easily, he aimed attack after attack at the boy, whom kept dodging him as best as he could. The temptation to just end the useless fight was alluring and he almost budged to the desire, going as far as to perform a serious feint. Yet somehow the brat managed to slip through his charge, backing off a little unbalanced to gain distance between them. Kanda narrowed his eyes before lunging at Allen again, driving him around the room until the boy's breathing finally got a heavier note and his movements started to gradually slow down.

Well, it was fucking time already.

Seeing that the match was pretty much over Kanda dashed forward with twice as much speed than before and reached out to grab Allen's shoulder. The brat didn't have time to react as he forced the arm aside and brought his own hand to wrap his fingers around the slender throat. The other's eyes widened, and it was only when Kanda spotted a hint of panic in them that he understood it might've been a bad choice to go out with such aggressiveness.

Damn cornered mice…

The next second, Allen's body was pushing forward, his knee coming into contact with the Japanese's crotch in an instinctive attempt to free himself. Kanda grimaced, caught the surprisingly strong fist before it could land, and was obliged to back off as the albino kept coming at him with sudden vigor bordering on desperation. If the boy had known any kind of fighting style, he would've probably gotten some trouble to restrain him, but as the things were at the moment, the attacks were just raw and graceless and completely welled from the younger one's survival instinct.

Stopping another hit as the brat surged against him, Kanda clutched a handful of white hair and yanked it forcefully to distract the boy. Allen winced, trying to wriggle out of his grasp, and only managed to worsen his own situation. Grunting in irritation, Kanda took a hold of the boy's wrist and spun him around with a swift movement. A simple kick to the back of his knees caused Allen's legs to buckle. With a yelp of pain and surprise, the Brit fell down and hissed as his hand twisted into a painful angle.

"Calm the fuck down." Kanda snapped, and thrusted the boy's head forward by his hair, pinning it against the floor. He heard a soft gasping sound and the other squirmed a little in a last attempt to free himself. Narrowing his eyes he answered by tightening his hold on both Allen's left arm and the white mess covering his head.

"Didn't you hear what I said? Stop moving!"

Kanda couldn't see the look on the boy's face due to the fact that he was facing the other's back, albeit he was sure it was something akin to terrified, if the tenseness of his body was anything to go by. He was about to cast another insult to get the brat back to his senses, when Allen suddenly went totally limp.

"What the fuck?" He asked, on guard.

"Sorry…"the boy mumbled that cursed word quietly, not even a trace of contumacy in his voice. "I don't know what got into me. I-I guess I just panicked." His frame stayed slack, leaning slightly forward on his knees in a perfect image of surrender, which made Kanda scowl more intensely.

Couldn't the brat stop being so fucking submissive?

"Che. You're a damn weakling", he growled, fingers tightening around the arm pressed against the Moyashi's back. That gave him a faint grimace from the boy and a twitch of his leg, indicating the hold caused pain. Eyes narrowing, Kanda thought about letting go but in decided against it the end. "And stop apologizing to me in every sentence. It's annoying."

"O-okay. I just… It was a reflex and I couldn't help it" Allen said, seemingly unable to both raise his voice above a mutter and simply shut up. Did he really think Kanda needed his explanations? "I… didn't mean to… go at you like that."

He scoffed more to himself than to the boy, rolling his eyes in disregard. "As if you could cause any damage to me, Moyashi. You wouldn't win a school girl in a street fight, if she even bothered to compete against you."

"A school girl wouldn't have any reason to fight with me" Allen muttered, a faintly vexed bottom shed quivering in his voice. Kanda narrowed his eyes at the petite figure in front of him and quickly decided his next move. He would loose nothing even if he tried this out, anyway.

"Hn? What was that?" he asked, lowering his tone to a threatening level. The Moyashi did like he had assumed, going completely stiff for a brief moment before partly relaxing.

"Nothing", the boy whispered. "It was nothing. I'm just being foolish." There was a short pause as he hesitated to continue. A scowl made its way to Kanda's face and he practically waited for the Moyashi to say sorry. Again. Though, when Allen then spoke up, he didn't know whether or not to take it as an apology or as an insult. It was just too bizarre.

"Will you… Would you let me… make it up to you to compensate my earlier behavior?" The voice was stronger, more stable even though Kanda could still hear uncertainty in it. Not that he really concentrated on what Allen sounded like, seeing that most of his attention was directed to the fact that the boy was outright proposing to sleep with him.

He certainly hadn't expected to get what he wanted like this.

Slowly Kanda sunk down to one knee, still keeping his hold on both Allen's hand and his hair, although he let his grip loosen on the later. The boy wasn't tense anymore, just slightly cautious if he read the other's body language right and remained like that when he leaned closer to him.

"And just how are you thinking to make it up?" Kanda kept his voice low as spoke right to the Moyashi's ear, dropping the menacing tone to a suggestive one. It caused a slight shiver go up the boy's spine.

"What… would you like?" Allen asked, turning his head a little, just enough to let his cheek brush against Kanda's lips and allow him see the other's gray eye. How could such a small gesture be so seductive, the Japanese didn't know, though it certainly made him see the boy in a different light.

The Moyashi really was a whore.

Maybe it was that last thought that possessed Kanda to draw out the meaningless conversation, to continue the questioning that had no purpose. Or maybe it was just that in all honesty, he hated doing this like a sick pedophile who didn't give a fuck about other's dignity and rights. Nevertheless, he tightened his hold on the white hair.

"I own you. So, tell me, what do you have that I don't?"

Kanda was expecting the kid to go speechless and stutter something incoherent and stupid along the lines of 'sorry' or 'I didn't mean it like that', which was probably the main reason for his surprise when Allen didn't even blink at the question. It was as if the answer was something self-evident for the boy.

"Nothing", he said quietly. "You right – you own me and everything I have or am capable of doing. But…" The Moyashi let his gaze flicker up until Kanda was staring straight at the only gray eye that could be seen from their current position. "I can give if I want."

"Che" he grunted out, hands clenching unconsciously. Allen winced faintly, lowering his eyes from Kanda's face with that servility he knew so fucking well. Damn amenable brat, unable to do one godforsaken thing without making him feel all these damned _feelings_ he wasn't supposed to have. He was so going to kill the unlucky bastard who had forced this job onto his shoulders.

But first things first.

"And why should I give a rat's ass about that?" Kanda scoffed pressing slightly harder against the boy's back. "You can't give me anything I wouldn't get with coercion."

"I know that, and it probably _doesn't_ matter a one bit to you" Allen said, his voice gaining a certain level of firmness. "Regardless, that's the only way I know of to… show you what I want you to see."

Bending the boy's head backwards until the white wisps were spilled across his right shoulder, Kanda started to slowly rub the Moyashi's upper nape. Maybe he should start taking a little bit longer steps in order to make some progress with the damned brat. "And what would that be?" he asked, gradually running his hand lower with slow circles. "What do you want to show that much?"

"I… know you told me to stop acting, and… I've gotten the impression that you want me to be… initiative." Allen said somewhat cautiously, half-lidded eyes gazing up tentatively as the last hesitant word left from the pale lips. "But I don't want to you to think I'm being impudent."

Kanda had to fight the scowl that wanted to appear on his face. Even though he knew the Moyashi was saying all these things only because he currently had the authority over him, it didn't change the fact that he hated listening to the crap coming out of the boy's mouth. How was it even possible for someone to demote themselves that low? He would've killed himself long since out of sheer shame if he had been in the boy's shoes.

"Please tell me if I'm incorrect" the half-whisper snapped Kanda out of his thoughts and back to reality, where Allen had apparently taken his unintended silence for displeasure. Not that he wasn't, the boy just interpreted it wrong. "I-I wouldn't…"

Kanda raised an eyebrow as the Moyashi trailed off, slightly widened grey eyes staring straight at him. It seemed like the brat had lost his unwillingness to look him in the eyes during their little chat. Or not, seeing Allen quickly averted his gaze away from him.

Hell if he knew why he continued this.

"Wouldn't what?"

"I-I wouldn't… want to… do the wrong thing again." the boy answered, head still leaning on his shoulder. An expression Kanda couldn't place engulfed his face before subsiding to slight uncertainty. "Please… Can you let me apologize for my earlier antics?"

"I said I didn't want to hear you say sorry in every fucking sentence." he growled, annoyed at having to repeat himself. Was the Moyashi really so dense that even a simple phrase failed to sunk in?

"I didn't mean speaking."

The quiet, shivering whisper reminded Kanda rather abruptly of the reason why he was half-kneeling on the floor, holding Allen against his chest in a fairly immodest position. Needless to say, it wasn't the most pleasant realization to have, and he suddenly felt like slapping his own face for forgetting. What kind of retarded idiot would forget they had a person practically lying on their lap? A petite, fair person who was offering himself to you without a trace of shame or bitterness, somehow making the situation, which should've been wrong and twisted, look fallaciously proper.

It was too easy.

With a very little though given to the action, Kanda leant forward and pressed his lips against Allen's jaw line softly. Feeling the boy shift slightly, he trailed a line of wet kisses up to the other's earlobe, his teeth gracing the surprisingly cold skin every now and then. His right arm returned to the soft white hair and he tangled his fingers into the mess, while the left one finally let go of the boy's wrist to slip down to the slim waist.

Way too easy.

Allen slid his hand over Kanda's leg gently, before propping it against the floor to support some of his weight as he bent around. The movement was fluent despite their position, and Kanda couldn't help but notice how the boy clearly made sure that his neck wouldn't get drawn away from his lips due to the movement. It made him fleetingly wonder just how much the Moyashi had needed to submit in his life to now keep something so unimportant in his mind as this insignificant detail when he was having sex of all things.

A lot, that was for sure.

Although, it didn't really matter right now.

Hunting out Allen's lips, Kanda locked their mouths together, demanding admission which the boy gave him without a second of hesitation. He knew he was being rough as he plunged his tongue in and forced the fierce kiss on the other, yet he pushed the slight nuance of guilt away by grabbing Allen's hips and pulling him closer with an abrupt, stark yank. The boy stumbled a little, leaning his weight against Kanda for a short moment before managing to sort his legs out and gain back the momentarily lost balance. Mouths parted for air and a second of stillness passed between the two.

And then they both were drowning in kisses again, swollen lips nestling against each other with hurried sloppiness and wavering caution that was slowly descending to the background. Kanda couldn't – wouldn't – stop his hands as they slipped under the boy's shirt, roaming up the flat stomach and sliding over the ribs he was able to feel through the skin. Allen wrapped a pair of nearly delicate arms around his shoulders, ever so subtly expressing willingness that he knew to be false, yet the knowledge did nothing to stop him from proceeding with the touches.

The light body hoisted its weight from Kanda's legs – when the hell had he shifted to fully kneel on the floor? – to press itself more firmly against his chest. When they broke the kiss to regain their breathings, silver eyes didn't meet his gaze as Kanda sharply glanced at the flushing face, but instead fell down in a shy, compliant manner. Kanda frowned as the Moyashi slowly glided his hands down from the crook of his neck and over his torso, all the way across his stomach until they were resting on his hipbones. A flicker of downcast eyelids was the only warning he got, and then the lightly wavering gaze rose up to meet his face.

'_Beautiful.'_

Kanda wasn't really thinking what he did as he abruptly pushed Allen on the floor, assorted thoughts dashing in his head too fast to catch for longer than a moment, and in all honestly that went just fine with him – at least there was no danger to get stopped by some of the less pleasant sentiments. Without hesitation he plunged down, attacking the boy's neck and shoulders, swiftly unbuttoning the white shirt and tearing it off Allen. A soft gasp filled his ears briefly when he found his way to the other's chest, all control finally tossed aside. It didn't matter anymore, nothing mattered. This was his job, this was what he was supposed to do just to get the mission done, yet there was no thought given to those facts.

_They didn't matter._

Kanda gave up on trying to reason or analyze his actions, let go of everything and allowed the flow to take over. His mind only concentrated on the sensations his body received, every now and then fixating on Allen, the slenderness of the boy's limbs and the texture of his skin under the touch of his fingers and lips. He didn't want to think about what he was doing or who he was doing it with, so he simply shut his consciousness up and refused to hear the nagging voice of his beliefs, morals and honor. Instead he followed the urges of his body.

All in all, he was letting his instincts guide.

Letting his fingers trail down the Moyashi's sides, Kanda nipped at the sensitive skin of the smaller male's nipples and moved his other hand to get rid of the belt that prevented him from removing the trousers. It didn't take long for him to unbuckle the annoying obstacle and a yank on the waistband made Allen lift his hips docilely. The lithe body bent backwards momentarily, and with lust ridden eyes fixed on the boy's scarred upper body, Kanda pulled the cloth off of him. Wasting only couple of seconds to gaze the pale frame underneath him, he bent down in order to kiss Allen again whilst his right hand moved down to cup the other's obvious arousal.

"Ngh!"

The boy tensed and arched off the floor slightly. A gentle flush had covered the pale cheeks, and as Kanda traveled down the stretched out neck with his lips, he could clearly feel how the boy's pulse shot up erratically every time he applied more pressure to his crotch. With a silent grunt, Kanda replaced his hand with his knee and used the now freed arm to pull Allen up against his chest. The movement caused the Moyashi to let out a moan, the slim body shivering under his touch as he reached to press his lips back to the other's.

"Mngh…"

Kanda pulled away and instead reached for Allen's earlobe, not anymore surprised when the boy tilted his head to give him an easier access. However, when he felt fingers tugging the collar of his shirt little hesitantly and a second after heard a soft, lightly shivering voice call out his name quietly, Kanda had to admit that he hadn't expected the brat to actually speak to him during sex.

"Che. What?" he growled out, nipping the smooth flesh just a bit.

Allen glided his other hand down the cloth's silky surface, and gently pressed it closer. However, Kanda wasn't stupid enough to think that he hadn't done it on purpose. "May I… undress you?" the boy mumbled past his swollen lips, downcast eyes expressing shyness that couldn't be real. Not for someone who called himself a whore.

Though, that didn't make it any less convincing.

"Fine." Kanda grumbled, scowl pestering his face as he glared past the boy's exposed shoulder at the wall. The words Allen had voiced made a sickening lump rose to his throat at the same time as a shudder of excitement ran down his spine. The dissonance of the sensations nearly froze him momentarily. It was so… off.

A quick peck of soft lips on his chest was followed by a quiet whisper, one that made Kanda want to call the whole thing off and kill someone, anyone, out of sheer self-hatred. Maybe the rabbit. Slowly and cruelly. Yeah, that would be nice. Though, he couldn't do it before fucking the kid and finish the mission. Damn pain in the neck.

And just when had he stopped following his instincts and started thinking with reason again?

"Make it quick." Kanda growled out and surely enough, Allen didn't waste any time on stripping him off of his shirt. Another gentle kiss on his skin and almost a questioning pause, before the hands swiftly unbuckled the leather belt, unfastened his trousers and yanked them down smoothly. The friction caused by the sliding fabric almost made Kanda hiss as he finally realized just how hard he'd gotten. Due to an underage boy. Who didn't even do the thing willingly.

Maybe he should get laid a little more often than a once in a year.

Noticing how Allen had ceased his movements uncertainly, seemingly waiting for some sort of instructions, Kanda leaned forward to kiss the boy while he fumbled around to find what he needed. The Moyashi pressed slightly closer and deepened the kiss subtly. Despite the somewhat fuzzy state his mind was in at the moment, Kanda was almost surprised when he felt a hand start stroking him slowly. His breath hitched a little, and he felt around more hurriedly, nearly groaning out loud when the Moyashi gave his cock a timid but experimented squeeze. When his hand finally met the small tube, he snatched it from its spot and fumbled with it's cap impatiently.

Allen hardly reacted to the sound of the cork popping open, and stayed completely unabashed and calm when Kanda pulled him up enough to slip his hand between the boy's thighs. It wasn't until he pressed the first finger in that the Moyashi tensed slightly, only to relax a second later. Though Allen leaned on him a bit more than just a moment ago, resting his head on his shoulder. Due to their closeness, Kanda heard the soft hiss that left the boy's lips when he slipped his index finger in his entrance. You'd think a person would get accustomed to penetration after five damn years of whoring, be it unwanted or not, but fuck no, nothing ever went like you wanted or expected it to.

"Ngh!"

Kanda wasn't trying to inflict more pain than necessary on Allen; it just happened to be so that neither did he particularly avoided doing so. He could've been more careful and considering and whatever the hell, but then again – he could've also been rougher. All in all, he simply got over with the preparation as fast as possible. It wasn't like the brat was wailing in agony or anything, either.

Feeling the body beneath him arch gently off the ground, Kanda withdrew his hand and pushed the pale boy back to the floor. Allen's eyes glanced him quickly, dilated and vivid, before shunned his dark ones. The stare gave Kanda an uncomfortable feeling that swirled in his guts, and it managed to cut trough the growing want rather easily. But he had made the decision to endure the disgust, the self-loathing and the guilt that the act would undoubtedly arouse inside him each time he did it. It was simply and indisputably _wrong_ – not that he really cared to ponder over it while in the act – and he wasn't fucked up enough _not_ to mind it.

Though, that was as far as it went, he wasn't some self-torturous teenager that cut his wrists every time he did something wrong, after all.

Annoyed, Kanda frowned for getting lost in his thoughts and somewhat harshly spread Allen's legs. Unsurprisingly he didn't meet any resistance from the boy's part, and was quick to proceed forward, grabbing the lube once again and making a quick use of it. The Moyashi stiffened slightly when he lifted his hips up and moved closer, albeit aside from that and the way his fingers dug into the carpet, Allen didn't show any signs of nervousness or reluctance.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, the Japanese man gave credit for the boy's capability of keeping himself in check during this kind of situation. However, consciously Kanda was far too busy to waste time on thinking such trivial matters, instead focusing most of his attention on _getting into the brat_. It didn't matter that he might have the highest morals of the entire damn country – seeing it basically did money with immorality – 'cause physical pleasure was still physical pleasure and no amount of sanctity would ever change that.

Allen let out a soft cry as Kanda started moving, although he soon forgot to listen the boy's voice. It just felt too fucking good and he wouldn't have been able to stop, even if he'd wanted to. Head dropping down against the boy's shoulder Kanda suck in air with long, sharp gasps, pace almost too harsh as he plunged into Allen without pauses. Vaguely he comprehended that the Moyashi had twined his arms around his shoulders and was allowing feeble moans escape from his mouth every now and then, though the man didn't bother to focus on it longer than a one fleeting second. His body demanded attention more than anything else that could possibly be happening around them and Kanda was fully willing to give that attention to it, barely able to endure the tightness surrounding his erection anymore. He was forcing himself into the petite body faster and faster, the heat in his veins pouring down to the pit of his stomach and lower as the pleasure built up to an unbearable level. He was so fucking _close_…!

A cry of pleasure broke trough the disarray just as Kanda felt the muscles contract harshly around his cock. The next thing he knew was that everything went from almost too good to euphoric. White churning bliss rushed through his body like wildfire, burning in his veins and making him tremble. Waves hit him times and times again, every one of them making him gasp for air, until the surge finally subsided.

Too tired to hold himself up, Kanda dropped down onto the body below him with a disgraceful grunt.

~XxX~

Allen felt his limbs quiver as he lay on the floor, weak and spent, and waited for the momentarily lost strength to return in his body. The white ceiling remained immutable and vapid in front of his eyes, almost like reflecting the moment of calmness that lingered in the room, and with too much effort he turned his head to left.

Dull pain shoot up from his sore lower back, although Allen didn't bother to care about it. He just wanted to have a permission to go wash himself.

Kanda was on his back next to him, right where he had landed when he'd rolled off of Allen. The man's long hair, which had managed to stay combined – only loosely – through the whole act was now tousled, long strands spread around his head and shoulders messily. His breath had evened out, and Allen could barely make out the sound of the air leaving Kanda's lips before being drawn back in.

The tranquillity was almost surreal.

Allen held back a small sigh before closing his eyes lazily. Fading warmness in his muscles and stomach made him feel cozy, despite the mat being made of rather rough material. The light shimmering through his eyelids wasn't too bright, nor the surface under him too cool, and all in all he was feeling rather comfortable and he wouldn't mind to lie there a little longer, to bath in the afterglow of the pleasure. It wasn't that often that he got the opportunity to enjoy himself, after all.

Allen wasn't sure of what had possessed him to make the proposal. It wasn't entirely about how their sparring had ended, and especially not about the way he'd attacked Kanda. He couldn't quite explain it, but he had just felt like he _should_ do something to express his… regret, in a lack of better term. Almost as if he hadn't been simply scared – that emotion had waned when the man hadn't shown signs of any real anger – but had sincerely felt like he'd been obliged to make up for the misdeed. And in all honesty, Allen couldn't think of any other reason that could cause him to feel like that than some kind of twisted sense of _fidelity_.

Which didn't make any sense at all. The only bond he shared with Kanda was the one brought by the man's ownership over him, and there wasn't anything else there.

Or, the very least, there shouldn't have been.

"Oi, Moyashi."

Kanda's voice made Allen open his eyes quickly and turn to look at the man. Pushing the thoughts about the unsolved reasoning behind his very own logic to the back of his mind, he fixed his concentration on the Japanese man. "Yes?"

"There's a swimming pool and larger bathroom behind that door on the right." Kanda said, not even glancing at him as he spoke the words out tonelessly. "You can take as long as you want."

Allen blinked, staring at the man next to him for a good five seconds before he finally understood the meaning of the sentence. And when it did sunk in, he couldn't help the dumbfounded look that rose to his face. His lips parted as if to say something, yet no voice came out. He didn't know how to react.

'_Huh, who would've thought? That kind of apology actually _did_ work.'_

Jolting out of the stunned state of mind, Allen snapped his mouth shut and propped himself up against his arms. A spike of pain rushed through his lower body and up his back, the sudden movement multiplying the otherwise dull soreness, and Allen had to grit his teeth in order to keep the hiss from leaving his lips. Once the ache had subsided back to the lame throbbing, he picked up his clothes and stood up. Kanda – who still hadn't moved from the floor – didn't meet his eyes as he glanced at him quickly.

True to the man's word, the first thing that Allen saw when he stepped through the door was a long pool, stretching from one wall to another, leaving maybe two meters wide area to walk around the space. Everything was plain white and the only detail that broke the tile-surface was a towel rack next to smoked glass door. Assuming that was were the bathroom was, Allen headed for the door, snatching a black towel as he went.

The room was large and bright, and would have probably stuck his breath in his throat had he not been as tired as he was. But seeing that he could barely keep his eyes open, he just dragged himself to the enormous bathtub and turned the faucet on. It seemed to take forever before it was filled with enough water, and by the time that Allen climbed into the blissfully warm bath, he was already yawning widely.

~XxX~

"Che. Idiot."

Kanda stared down at the pale boy, whom was half soaked and fast asleep. His face was smoothed out, which made expression relaxed and peaceful, the scarred body remaining still as the tub slowly drained itself empty from the water. The Moyashi had lied in there almost two hours, likely sleeping for the whole time. Fucking runt. It was a miracle he hadn't slid down to the water and drowned already.

Scowling for no specific reason, Kanda bent down to lift the boy up and wrap him into a large towel. A soft mumble fled from Allen's lips when he hoisted the light body to his arms again, and turned around to get out of the room. The Moyashi shifted restlessly against his chest and for a moment he wondered if the boy had woken up, only to dispel the thought as his steady breath ghosted over his left shoulder.

Allen was definitely still sleeping.

Kanda made it to the Moyashi's room without any problems and was already laying him to the bed, when the white lashes fluttered drowsily open, revealing a pair of grey orbs gazing at him with grogginess. He nearly stiffened as Allen blinked, obviously trying to comprehend the situation, though with little result.

"Kanda?" the boy murmured, sounding somewhat hoarse.

"You fell asleep in the bathtub." Kanda said bluntly as he regained his balance once again and stood up. "And I had to carry you here."

"Oh…" Allen stated dumbly, still lacking lucidness. "Sorry. I didn't mean to…" he mumbled softly, eyelids dropping insistently shut despite his evident tries of keeping them open. The boy was nearly a paragon of exhaustion.

"Che. Just… go back to sleep." Kanda answered, hesitant with his words. But, like this… it was almost easy to act less insensitive, build up a labile trust with gracile gentleness while the Moyashi was too out of it to really even notice. "I'll wake you up for dinner."

"Hng…"

What was it that made this job harder than all the others?

~XxX~

Please, give me a review so I can know how epicly I fail this time. ^^ Oh yeah, and DGM 190 is so love, so love. Poor Kanda and Alma. No wonder he scowls at Allen all the time.


	11. Chapter 11

ause of some technical problems, this is unbetaed, but I hope the mistakes won't ruin the chapter. Please, try to ignore them. Also, it seems like my updating schedule will be approximately a chapter per month, which is pretty normal for me. I try to keep it at that. This is... half a filler, I guess. Slow progress. I hope you don't mind, but I need it. ^^ However, Tyki makes his appearance! Be happy everybody! XD Okay, okay. I have feeling I was supposed to say something important... I just can't remember what. Well, I can add it later. So, really great thanks for giving me an awesome number of comments and sorry for those I haven't been able to answer, I'll do my best, especially if you have something to ask.

EDIT// Now I remember. I made a sort of cover page for property. You can see it from here www . sumopaint . com/image/?id=418547 (although, I'm not much of an artist when it comes to drawing).

Oh, and in the previous chapter, I forgot to say that the sentence about America making moni with immorality (or like that) is not meant for offence and is not my personal opinion. Please don't take it to your heart.

**Warnings:** Um... nothing?

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own DGM and you still better thank some higher deity for it.

**~XxX~**

**Chapter 11**

**Vertigo**

**~XxX~**

Allen wasn't sure what it was that had caused the change, but it seemed like he and Kanda had found some sort of balance, a state of nearly habitual interaction that had somehow managed to form without his notice. It smoothed out the awry cohabitation they shared and, in a way, eased their terms to the point in which Allen found himself virtually bickering with the man in a daily routine. Not too seriously, of course, just harmless little argues about insignificant matters that mostly shunned anything related to their life situation. After all, he wasn't going to forgot who Kanda was and where he stood in comparison to the dominant male.

Then again, Kanda surely seemed to give him reasons to think, and more often than not Allen couldn't stop his thoughts from flying away with him. The man was puzzling him to no end, what with the intricate and discordant behavior that just got even more indistinct as the days passed by. Not that it was anything new, for his owner had been an enigma to Allen from the very beginning – complicated and impossible to fathom – yet now everything appeared to grow even more inexplicable. He didn't know whether his eyes were just pulling tricks on him, or if Kanda really was feeling all those emotions that seemed to flash behind his dark gaze, but sometimes Allen could nearly swear there was unsteadiness and disarray in the man's expressions. For what reason, he couldn't begin to understand.

However, Kanda wasn't the only one whose behavior had started to slowly alter. Despite his best efforts of staying wary, Allen found himself increasingly often relaxing in the other's company, allowing his guard drop lower while debating about whatever the topic was that time. He tried to control it, for he couldn't trust Kanda regardless of the rather good treatment he received, only to fail time after time. It was simply so very easy, seemingly harmless as if there was nothing to worry about, and for the love of life he _wanted_ to give in to the sense of security, even against his own will. But good things could only last for so long, Allen knew that, and thus he shouldn't let the feeling lull him into illusions.

What was comical, though, was now that he felt more at ease around Kanda than before, the man had started using him. The difference was only scarcely notable, minor enough to be just anomaly from the normal, and Allen wasn't sure if he should take the change just as a coincidence. Although, it could be that _because_ Kanda seemed to be more keen on sleeping with him, he was less tense. Old customs ran deep and were difficult to root out, so it'd actually make sense, in a way.

Though, on the other hand, it didn't, for up until now sex had been all but agony for him.

So, overall, Allen mused as he unconsciously slid into a better position on the couch, he was more or less lost with Kanda, himself and the entire situation. Nothing was rational enough to draw any logical conclusions about what was really going on or – above all – why was that what was going on even going on in the first place.

Now wasn't that a nice little complexity. He didn't know what was wrong and he didn't know why it was wrong, which basically meant his problem was that he didn't know a reason for a problem that he didn't know. And neither did he know why he didn't know a reason for a problem that he didn't know, so then it would go like, he didn't know a reason for why he didn't know a reason for a problem that he didn't know…

With a silent thud Allen let his head hit the backrest of the couch, mind dizzy from the bizarre word game.

'_What in the world are you doing…?'_

Apparently the only other occupant of the room, namely Kanda, came up with the same question when the albino flopped down onto his back, groaning at the headache that had started to surface. Talking about loosening up in the wrong company…

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Giving myself a headache", Allen said wearily, eyes closed. "Do you mind if I lay down a bit? 'Cause I feel nauseous."

"You're _not_ going to vomit on my sofa, Moyashi", Kanda growled out threateningly, and the younger male could practically feel the obsidian eyes boring into him. "So drag your lazy ass up and go to bathroom if you want to puke."

"I'm not going to throw up", Allen answered rather dryly. "It's just that my head feels a little dizzy after all of the 'didn't knows' and other stuff", he muttered, forgetting that the Japanese man wouldn't understand what he was meaning.

"The fuck are you babbling on about?" Kanda snapped, lowering the book he'd been reading for the past hour. It was something about psychology, not that Allen had any clue why he'd be interested in the subject. Of all his owners, the Japanese man was the one he knew the least about – even Kanda's occupation was mystery to him, which could be deemed as odd, for normally you found out people's jobs simply because they complained so much about them.

"It's nothing", Allen murmured, massaging his temples with his fingertips. "Just a stupid mind game, that's all." With barely audible sigh he let the hand flop down and pushed himself to a little better position. He didn't understand why Kanda made him sit hours in silence with nothing to do, whilst the man just read, and it was rather boring to say the least.

"Che. Do you have no patience, baka Moyashi?"

"Only if I'm waiting something", Allen replied, his voice holding casual, almost irreverent undertone. He was really starting to adapt into the weird dance of words and gestures that they were playing around each other. Although, it still felt like he had a blindfold on.

"And what do you think you're doing, if not waiting?" Kanda snorted, dark eyes staring him intently.

"I'm doing nothing", Allen said flatly. "Because you need something to _wait for_ before you can star waiting. And I have nothing to look forward to, hence I'm just being", he continued steadily, eyes sliding towards the large windows.

"Che. Everyone who aren't doing something worth wasting their time on, are waiting", Kanda stated as he closed the psychology book and placed it on the table. "Even if they don't know exactly what."

"I didn't say that you need to know what it is that you're waiting for", Allen noted bluntly. "But if you don't know that you're waiting, then it isn't waiting at all."

Kanda arched an eyebrow at him, his eyes nearly disdainful as he crossed his arms over his chest and snorted. "Just what kind of moronic logic is that?" the man scorned. "You think that lunatics aren't crazy just because they're too fucked up to realize it?"

"Being crazy and waiting have nothing to do with each other", Allen retorted with slight huff. Arguing really didn't come to him by nature, but then again he'd always been a fast learner and Kanda's attitude was a rather good incentive. Too good even, for he had to restrain his irritation during some of the quarrels so as not to loose his cool. Regardless of everything, he didn't want to test his luck for the second time.

Once was a miracle, twice would be impossibility.

"Yes they _do_, since your senseless logic says that if you don't know something, it doesn't exist", the Japanese man said steadily, his eyes watching the petite boy in a nearly calculating manner. "Which is, by the way, probably the second stupidest ideology I've ever heard, Moyashi."

A frown on his face, Allen twisted his head backwards to have a better view of Kanda. "I never said that", he disputed as irritation started to creep up to his eyes. "Insanity is a state of mind, whilst waiting is a stance. And why is it the second stupidest, anyway?"

"Che. You've taken a pretty damn _oblivious_ stance on your _inane_ state of mind, brat", the man scoffed sardonically, although in his eyes wasn't real malice – just like there never was. By now Allen could say for sure that Kanda wasn't a wicked person, not truly. Sour and grumpy, often temperamental – in his own, somewhat weird way - , nearly always easily irascible and more often than not abstruse, but as a matter of fact, he wasn't malevolent despite all of his threats. He could most likely carry them out, if he saw it necessarily, even though Allen doubted he would do so without a reason. A little bit like Bak.

With the exception that unlike Kanda, the Chinese man wasn't an illogical jerk half of the time.

"That has nothing to do with the topic", he said somewhat sharply, a little irritated 'cause the other male wasn't staying rational with his statements. Although, he guessed he shouldn't have expected Kanda to do so.

"Che. I wasn't the one who started to talk some crap about stances and sanity", the Japanese man shot back, his voice also mildly annoyed.

"Well, you twisted my words!" Allen snapped as he turned to face the ceiling again. His neck was already stiff from the uncomfortable angle he'd bent his head and the slightly vertiginous feeling from before seemed to be coming back again. With a dull groan he rubbed the aching muscles of his right shoulder.

Kanda just snorted to himself, gazing away from the pale boy as he muttered something that sounded much like 'whatever', albeit Allen couldn't really say for sure. It ended the conversation and they fell to somewhat awkward silence that lasted for good ten minutes, slowly growing less tense as the minutes passed by. By the time Kanda finally decided to turn on the TV, Allen was already half-asleep and was startled out off his slight slumber too abruptly for his liking as the loud sound blasted out.

"_- to our quest of the day! She's the most popular newcomer on the movie industry and has already acted in several movies despite her young age! Her fans –"_

For the second time during the hour Allen let his head flop back with a thud. He felt faint, the tips of his finger were ice cold when he brushed them over his forehead and the thin veil of haze covering his eyes wouldn't vanish no matter how hard he tried to blink the blur away. With a tired sigh he closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, willing the vertigo to relinquish until he was feeling stable again.

Honestly, sometimes the anemia could really be a pain in the neck. It came and went randomly, never gave any warning and was usually gone before he could do so much as to lay down. One moment he was feeling all alright and the next the world would swing and turn dark, his balance disappearing faster than a snowflake in the Sahara. It was really, _really_ annoying. And tiresome.

So mostly in times like this, when he was feeling weak and thin, the only thing Allen wanted to do was to curl up somewhere warm and safe and sleep for all eternity. He didn't know what it was that was wrong with him and, frankly, neither did he bothered to care. Bak had assumed his occasional dizziness was due to low iron level, nothing more serious, hence he'd never thought about it that much. Besides, would it even be such a great misfortune, if he suddenly dropped dead?

'_And there you go again, being all suicidal over things you can't change. There's millions of people who have it worse, so stop the complaining.'_

Allen huffed silently, irritated at himself. Although, he got to admit that the depressing thoughts had come less often lately, and for the first time in years he was truly feeling like giving a try with life wouldn't be such a bad mistake. No, he wasn't happy, but then again he didn't need to be. Kanda treated him better than anybody else for last three years, and despite his mostly grim appearance and harsh words, the man wasn't a bad owner to have.

'_Not bad at all…'_

Actually, if it hadn't been for the inexplicable behavior of Kanda's, Allen would've probably just been glad to get some relative rest from his normal life. Not that he _wasn't_ glad anyway, it was just that he couldn't completely let the thing slip. Although, his subconsciousness surely did one hell of a job with distracting him every time he was supposed to keep his caution. Just look at him now, laying on the couch half-asleep like there was no worries in the world. What had gotten into him?

Sighing quietly once again, Allen opened his eyes, about to push himself up when another wave of dizziness surged through him. He inhaled sharply and squeezed his eyes tightly shut in an instinctive attempt of trying to force the nausea to subside. In stead of calming down the world flipped over and for a second he lost all sense of feeling. Everything turned into a swirling, swinging mess of darkness and directions, which through he fell, heavy like there would've been chains bound around his body, pulling him down with too much force to resist.

And then there was the floor, cool and solid.

"…_see your relatives, after all the family of Kamelot is quite big and you travel a lot…?"_

~XxX~

New York City shone dimly as the last sun rays filtered through the hazy layers of pollution clouds. The never stagnate scenery was painted with deep crimson hue that hung on the buildings like a bloody veil and for a moment it seemed like the city bathed in all of the blood that had been spilled on the gray streets during its history. In the shadows of the glinting glass-structures the variety of people was slowly changing from one kind to another, housewives and officer workers being replaced by night guards and drug dealers. Far above, in the safety of flashy penthouses, the nobility of the twenty-first century prepared for another day of artificial light.

"Eeh! I hate interviews!" a short, tan-skinned girl whined loudly, swinging back and forth on the back of the couch. Her decorated dress that had been neat and straight just mere minutes ago was now ruffled and out of the order, and her lilac hair had loosened from its coiffure. "Why do I have to do them, uncle? They're boring and stupid and it's always so _hot_. And the interviewers are _soo_ annoying with all of their stupid questions! My life is none of their business!" The girl huffed, honey colored eyes holding a dangerous kind of glint in them.

The man she was talking to smiled very faintly as he lifted a wineglass to his lips and took a sip. "Calm down, Rhode. They make you more popular and in the movie industry being popular means more money. Besides, it's good advertisement", he replied without moving his gaze from the large windows and the skyline beyond them.

Kicking her feet, Rhode frowned at his uninterested companion. Sure, she could understand that the bloody red view was beautiful and captivating, but she was _talking_ here! "I don't _need_ more money! And don't ignore me, Tyki!" she snapped sharply, puffing her cheeks in annoyance.

The man turned his head towards the young girl and despite her tantrum he was still smiling, although there was nothing pleasant in the expression. "I'm not ignoring you, Rhode. It's just that we shouldn't be in bad mood today, not when things are finally making some progress."

Rhode's eyes widened slightly as Tyki's smile turned into a wicked grin and an exited squeal fled from her lips. She swung forward so abruptly that the speed nearly made her topple over, the heels of her too high shoes digging into the couch to stop the movement before she leaned to far.

"You mean…? _Him_? Right? Did you found him? Tyki? Tyki! You _found him_?!" Rhode's voice was almost high-pitched when she spoke and her expression reflected creed and sadistic joy that matched her uncle's perfectly.

Tyki's lips twitched ever so slightly at the enthusiastic words, his eyes darkening fractionally. He took another sip from the glass before turning to face the windows again. "No", he said somewhat grimly, just to smirk right after. "But he came here. Now I just have to find out where he went."

Rhode's eyes followed the man's line of sight and then a thought crossed her mind. With a twisted smile on her face she leaned forward to snatch a lollipop from her purse. "Tell me, uncle… What are you going to do to his new owner after you've found him?" she cooed, knowing all too well what the answer would be.

Tyki raised his gaze and for a moment there was pure gold flickering in his eyes. "Kill them, what else?"

And her grin spread wider.

New York really looked nice bathing in blood.

~XxX~

Shoulder propped against the door fame Kanda watched the still figure lying on the bed, unmoving and silent. The room was dark, the curtains closed to prevent the city's light from getting in, and only the narrow ray of light that escaped through the half open door lit it up. Yet he could clearly distinguish the Moyashi's pale arms resting on the covers and his white hair spilled around his equally fair face.

Kanda wasn't entirely sure how long he'd been standing there, just observing the boy while he slept. He knew that Allen had fallen asleep around seven, almost instantly after eating the quick meal he'd made for the younger male, and if the slight stiffness of his body was anything to go by then he'd been standing at least for an hour already, probably even longer. He just didn't seem to be able to pull away and leave the other alone. Besides, the Moyashi was sick, so who knew when he'd go and try to kick the bucket? He could meditate for a couple of hours and come back to find out the kid was dead.

And wouldn't that be just fucking _terrific_.

Kanda hadn't really taken it for real when the Moyashi had said he wasn't feeling alright, thinking that the kid was either faking it or just overreacting. How the hell would've Allen gotten sick anyway, seeing he never left the apartment or met anyone else aside from Kanda? Nobody fell ill like that and there definitely wasn't anything bad in the food.

And then the Moyashi had practically _fainted_ in front of his eyes. He'd acted on instinct, lunging off the couch and down next to where Allen had crashed even before really realizing what had happened. The boy had felt abnormally cold to the touch and Kanda could still see in his mind the unfocused gaze of the gray eyes, staring straight through him as he turned the light body around. It'd almost felt like watching a dead, so white and lifeless the Moyashi had seemed then.

And, even though he would never admit it to himself – or anyone else for that matter – , those couple seconds before Allen had finally reacted to his voice, Kanda had been more scared than ever during past five years. Not that it was much even then – any average mother probably had dozens of worse shocks in just a one day – and by the general standards you could hardly even mention it, but he didn't seem to be able to push it out of his mind.

Hell, he _didn't get_ scared. Or freaked out or anything.

Luckily – or as much as you could talk about luck in this damned situation – the Moyashi had been back to lucidness rather quickly, although he'd still needed help with getting back to his room. Help, which the idiot had of course tried to refuse to take and therefor had nearly collapsed right back to the floor when his knees had budged in. After that it'd been easier to make the Moyashi cooperate, even though he'd still complained the entire way from the living room to the bedroom. By then Kanda had started to be already slightly annoyed, what with how Allen just brushed the dizziness off as nothing and kept claiming that it happened all the time. Something about anemia and metabolism, which was apparently a bad combination to have or whatever, not like he bothered to remember right now. The only damn thing that had left the brat's lips coherently had been the fucking thank yous, anyway.

Feeling a headache coming, Kanda pushed himself away from the doorframe and rolled his shoulder absently to get the blood running properly again. Without thinking much he stepped into the silent room, unconsciously careful to not cause any noise as he walked over to the bed. Allen's face was still too pale for his liking, even after the meal and at least over an hour of sleeping, but he couldn't stay up for the whole night. And as much he hated to admit it, the boy was probably right and the dizziness was just simple anemia that'd pass with right diet or – in a more serious case – some iron pills.

Nothing that hold any threat to his mission.

Still, Kanda bent down and brushed his hand over the Moyashi's cold cheek before running the fingers down to the pale neck to check the pulse. It was steady, if somewhat weaker than his own, although there wasn't anything worrying about that. He exercised way more than average population and was what the baka Usagi called 'unnaturally healthy', so it would've been stupid to assume that the boy was at the same level as him. Allen was probably just fine already. The paleness could be just a trick of light, and the Moyashi's skin _had_ been slightly cooler than normal even before the earlier seizure, hadn't it? He was just over-observant due to the mission, nothing more.

Nevertheless, Kanda's hand was still lingering on Allen's neck when the silence was abruptly shattered by the first chord of a very long, old Japanese song that the man knew all too well. It was played mostly with a shamisen and although the music was pretty, he couldn't stand it. Normally he liked domestic music, even as much as to play it every once in a while, but this particular piece simply ripped his nerves to bloody shreds. And the effect had just gotten worse during years, albeit it could be 'cause he'd set it to play whenever Lavi tried to call him.

Cursing in his mind, Kanda swiftly retreated back to the hallway so as not to wake the Moyashi up while talking to the other idiot. He swore that everyone always chose the wrong moment on purpose just to piss him off. He also swore that if it wasn't for the job, he'd toss the damn phone to the nearest dumpster. A day without hearing Lavi's voice was worth the money he'd have to pay for a new device.

Angrily, Kanda flipped the cell phone open and pressed it to his ear. "What?"

"_Whoa, Yuu-chan! No need to bite my head off!"_

The loud, vivacious voice hit his eardrum like a shock wave, and before he knew it, his head was throbbing painfully. Eyes closed, Kanda gritted his teeth to stop himself from shouting at the fucking rabbit. He didn't want to wake Allen right now. "Whatever your business is, spit it out. _Now_. And don't fucking call me by that name, Usagi."

"_Geez, really, wind down a bit will ya? You'd live longer. And maybe get some nice ch-"_

"Rabbit, I _don't want to hear_", Kanda hissed, his grip tightening around the doorknob. "If you didn't have anything worth hearing for, then I'm going to hung up. Is that clear?"

"_Uh, okay, okay. I get it. Honestly, Kanda…"_ Lavi muttered something that didn't reach the Japanese cop's end of the line, before raised his voice again, this time sounding more serious, _"I just called to tell you that we can switch over to a more straightforward communication. So phones are operative again."_

"That's all?"

"_Yeah…"_

"Fine."

"_Uh… Yuu, everything okay?"_

"How many times do I have to tell you to not to call me by that name?"

"_Really, what's wrong?"_

"…Nothing's wrong."

"_You're lying, Yuu."_

This time Kanda didn't answer at all, just stared at the hallway with unseeing eyes. There was something in the back of his mind, something that made his shoulders tense and hearing sharpen. A restless feeling he quite couldn't fathom, a hunch or an instinct that made him want to go get Mugen. It was almost like that time when Tiedol's house had been broken into during Christmas – his subconsciousness had kept him awake for the whole night, hence he'd been practically waiting for the guy. But this time… this time it was… different.

"_Yuu?"_

"The Moyashi just got sick."

This time it felt like he had the odds against him.

~XxX~

And as always, I ask for comments. They make me write.


	12. Chapter 12

Right, sorry this took so long again. I had seriously one of the most buziest months of my life - a BIG schoold project, tons of exams and other things like that, all at the same time... so, I actually wrote this chapter in a week, after getting killed by real life that just simply hates me. Although, the feeling is very much mutual. ^^ Anyway, thank you for everybody who has reviewed, I can't hardly believe the number of comments this has gotten. And I'm sorry, since I've hardly responded to anyone (buzy, buzy, buzy - God, I hate that word). But, umm... I can't come up with anything else to say and I'm in a hurry (again _), so... that's about it.

Thanks to **XD-chan** for betaing this.

**Warning:** Somewhat morbid conversation about torturing and stuff, maybe somewhat OOC-behavior (I'm not sure) but considering they're both faking half of their emotions I guess that's just to be expected. (I'm trying to get over this part, don't kill me yet!)

**Disclaimer:** Nooo, I don't own DGM, I don't own New York, I don't own expensive appartment... The only thing I own in this story is Rod, and I don't even like him, but it seems I have to use him again. Ugh... thought, he's just mentioned in one sentence, so it's not that bad.

~XxX~

~XxX~

**Chapter 12**

**Without Meaning It**

**~XxX~**

Frowning, Kanda glared at the small box of iron pills that lied on the table in front of him. The carton was simple white with some text on it, seemingly very innocent and harmless, nothing that would arouse any suspicions in consumers who bought it. The thing practically screamed 'reliability', what with the dubiously official appearance – it was plainly, bluntly obvious that someone, somewhere had _approved_ the little box.

Kanda didn't like it. He didn't _trust_ it. He never used medicine, never bought them, and the only way to get any form of drugs into his system was to strap him down and inject the poison with a needle. And even then it'd be a good idea to knock him out first, just in case the restraints weren't strong enough to hold him down. These days medicine caused more damage than repaired it.

But this was for the mission.

"The Baka Usagi better be right about this…"

With a mistrustful scowl plastered onto his face Kanda picked up the box and the glass sitting next to it. He was supposed to give the medicine to the Moyashi, one pill every night until the package ran out. Lavi had said it would get the boy's iron level up and stop the amnesia, but Kanda was still skeptic. At the best case the brat would be allergic or something, have a fit and kick the bucket. Then he'd have to start the whole mission from the point zero just as he had finally gotten at least relatively used to Allen.

With an annoyed grunt Kanda headed out of the kitchen.

Just to make things worse, he hadn't been able to get rid off the restless feeling from yesterday and so he'd stayed up for the entire night, fully clothed and Mugen lying on his crossed legs. Of course nothing had happened, which just served to put him even more on edge. By the time the rabbit had called him in the morning to tell him how to take a blood sample from the Moyashi so they could see if his dizziness was anything serious, he'd been all but ready to explode. The meditation around midday had helped a little to calm him, but generally Kanda was still in a bad mood.

Allen seemed to be still asleep when he opened the door to the second bedroom. The curtains he'd closed last evening were shut and nothing in the room had changed – even the Moyashi was lying in the exact same position as the last time he'd checked. For some reason it made him think fleetingly hospitals.

Not expecting to be heard, Kanda didn't bother being particularly careful no to cause any noise as he walked across the room. Not that it could've even been possible to create much ruckus anyway, seeing he didn't have shoes and the mat dampened what little was left of the sound of his steps. Thus he was slightly surprised when a soft voice broke the lingering silence.

"Huh…? What's that?"

Swiftly Kanda raised his head up, just to be met with a pair of already familiar, light-gray eyes that were quite a bit less groggy than what you would expect from a person who just woke up. Almost unconsciously he frowned at the sight of Allen, half-sitting on the bed, elbows propped against the mattress to keep his body up and staring at him with a too intrusive yet docile gaze.

It was exactly that, the Japanese man realized what he couldn't comprehend about the boy. It was like he was submissive and defiant at the same time, yielding but resistant, never submitting completely while still giving in more than Kanda ever could have without a total breakdown of his pride.

A contradiction.

"It's medicine", he grunted out curtly before resuming to open the small package.

On his left, Allen let out a slightly annoyed sigh. "Yes, I can see that, Kanda", he murmured, still keeping his voice quiet for whatever reason. "I meant, what is it for? Do you have some reason to drug me or what?"

"Che."

Silence.

"…Well, fine then. Don't tell me", the Moyashi muttered, pushing himself up into a better position. Though, his voice wasn't the least bit bitter or even disgruntled, as if the issue didn't really matter at all. "You know, I could do that myself. I'm not _handicapped_", the boy added after a short pause, this time sounding just slightly irritated.

Kanda spared a quick glance to his left, and that was all the acknowledgment the words got. What was the point giving the carton to the Moyashi, when he would be done with opening it in a couple of seconds anyway. Complete waste of time and effort. Hadn't anyone ever taught the boy to be effective? In this world slackers ended up in the gutter.

On the other hand, it was starting to seem like there might just be worse places to be in.

A maroon pill rolled onto his hand and Kanda furrowed his brows, discontent. Nevertheless, he held out his palm towards Allen, whilst picking up the glass of water. "Take it", he commanded tersely and, to his mild annoyance, the Moyashi didn't ask another question as he followed the order. Eyes narrowed the Japanese man watched how Allen swallowed the tablet easily, casting his head backwards slightly as he did so, before taking the water-glass to his lips and emptying it.

"Che."

Silver eyes darted to Kanda's face and the boy arched an eyebrow, questioningly. "What?" Allen asked, lowering the glass. "Wasn't I supposed to take it?"

"You're a total idiot, aren't you?" Kanda scoffed, irritation crawling up his spine. "That could've been _anything_, and you just drowned it without a second thought. Fucking moron, Moyashi, that's what you are. A fucking moron with no brain whatsoever."

An almost sarcastic expression made its way to the boy's face as he stared back at him, not budging even the slightest, and all of a sudden Kanda realized that Allen had stopped avoiding his eyes without him even noticing it. Automatically his mind reeled backwards to look for the memories of the last days, but the flat, mildly biting tone, which made the familiar voice sound nearly strange, interrupted him before he could even start.

"I _did_ ask, in case you happened to forgot. Nonetheless, I highly doubt that you would poison me, seeing you paid a quite a bit of money to get me in the first place. It wouldn't be rational for you to kill me now."

Kanda narrowed his eyes at the words, at Allen's large eyes that gazed him with none of the servility that they usually held. He wasn't sure what to think, so he didn't. "And what if I bought you so I could kill somebody without getting caught?" he asked scathingly, eyes boring into the silver gems as he pulled a cruel smirk on his lips. "No one would look for a missing prostitute, especially if they're not officially even in the country. I could've done this dozens of times before, for all you know."

The boy frowned momentarily, before shrugged his shoulders indifferently and leaned forward to set the glass down on the nightstand. "If you wanted me dead, you wouldn't kill me with poison. Somebody who pays that much money just to be able to kill in peace, will take pleasure from it", Allen stated calmly as he raised his gaze to meet Kanda's again. "No, you would hurt me, cut me, make me suffer. Slowly and excruciatingly, preferably so that I'd live as long as possible. Maybe humiliate me and make me beg to either die or be hurt more. Or whatever that would turn you on", the boy listed, voice and expression steady, emotionless, like none of the words or the images they created affected him at all.

Kanda didn't back away, nor did he let the disgust that swirled inside of him be seen. Instead he just cocked up a brow and continued the morbid conversation. "And how can you be so sure that I'm not going to do those things? You have no guarantees of what that pill was. Drugging you would make both the preparations and controlling you easier for me."

Allen just stared back at him, a somewhat amused smile tugging the corners of his mouth. "I can't say I know you all that well, Kanda, but I can tell that you aren't a sadist", the boy said, obviously sure of his words. "You don't _think _like a person who enjoys other's pain."

"And just what the hell do you mean by that?" Kanda all but snapped, annoyed by the other's amusement. His eyes narrowed as the Moyashi leaned towards him, bringing their faces closer than what was generally comfortable for him.

"You said that drugging me would make things easier", Allen pointed out, eyes shimmering almost _playfully_ as they dragged over his face. "But if I were dazed, I wouldn't be able to feel the pain explicitly. And since my suffering is the whole point of it, _that_ would just spoil the fun, now wouldn't it?"

Feeling sick in his stomach, Kanda glared at the other male, too proud to back off even a one centimeter. "Che. You're crazy, you know that? Fucking brat", he growled out, and immediately Allen's mien turned into an annoyed one.

"You just don't understand games", the boy retorted as he pulled away from the Japanese man, crossing his arms over his chest at the same time. "You were playing around with me, so I just did the same to you", he huffed almost childishly. "Besides, you could've forced me to swallow the pill, if I hadn't done it myself. Why go the hard way then?"

"Che", Kanda snorted and went for the glass on the nightstand. He didn't have enough patience to put up with some fucking _games_ today. "Freaking annoying, ingrate runt." About to leave, he turned his back to Allen just to be stopped by a hand on his elbow before he could even take a step.

"I'm not an ingrate."

Terrific. The Moyashi was going at it again.

"Che."

Allen didn't let go of his arm, even though Kanda refused to turn around and face the boy. He knew full well that the meekness was back on its place on the pale features and could imagine perfectly the way Allen's shoulders slumped to make him look smaller. It'd taken him unusually long to figure out how the Moyashi's body language worked, and he still couldn't be completely sure of which gestures were false and which weren't, but it was getting easier. With his skills, Allen could've made millions in the movie industry.

"I'm not", the British boy repeated, voice nearly faltering. Still, Kanda didn't answer, brows knitted together in irritation. Silence.

"Please…"

"Quit repeating yourself. I'm not fucking deaf."

The Moyashi shut up, and they were enfolded by the silence again. Long, heavy silence that lingered over them like the slowly falling snow during the coldest days of the winter, when there wasn't enough wind to turn the snowfall into a blizzard. Annoyed silence, because it was useless and made things too complicated, fearful silence and anxious silence, stubborn silence. Words that they both held back and words neither of them hadn't been able to stop from flowing. Too many things there shouldn't have been, couldn't have been, too much everything.

The slender fingers around Kanda's arm seemed to burn his skin trough the fabric of the shirt, albeit it was obviously not the case. It _shouldn't have been_, yet the urge to tear the limb away from the touch was almost overwhelming. And he didn't know why, instead of doing so, he just gritted his teeth and tried not to let the annoyance rule.

The sound of Allen inhaling deeply, as if about speak, was ridiculously loud.

"…Kanda?"

The fact that he wasn't able to find his voice only served to irk Kanda even more. What was he? Some fucking timid teenager on his first working day?

"Thanks. For taking care of me."

"I thought I told you to shut up", he had intended the sentence to come out more angry, but at least in his ears it sounded just flat. Fleetingly the fingers curled around his elbow more tightly, before the boy let go.

"Yeah, I guess you did", Allen laughed faintly. Although, the voice wasn't really awkward, more like… surprised. "Just that…"

"What?" Good, that was sounding better already. Fuck his conscience. It always got in the way. Feeling his balance returning, Kanda forced the slight unsteadiness aside. Albeit the recovery was short-lived. Very short-lived.

"I know how to give a massage, so if your back is ever killing you I can help", Allen stated like it was completely _normal_ just to jump from one topic to another without so much as a warning, like people could actually _follow_.

"The fuck?" the Japanese man grunted out, turning around to glare at the Moyashi – 'cause, really, it was kind of starting to feel stupid to talk to the boy with his back turned to him. "Where the hell did you pull _that_ from?"

And Allen just shrugged casually, gray eyes unblinking. "Well, your shoulders look tense and I think you have headaches quite often, so I just supposed you could have a stiff back. But it was only a guess. No need to get worked up over it."

"I didn't get worked up over it", Kanda snapped before even thinking about it. His mind really hadn't caught up with the change of subject and mood yet. Allen, on the other hand, didn't seem to have any problem.

"Yeah, sure you didn't…"

"Watch it, brat."

The boy snorted, rolling his eyes. "Try to decide what you want, will you? Even I can't read minds if they change every second", he retorted back lightly, shoulders raising and dropping along with his words. Talking about change of mind – just a mere minute ago the atmosphere had been notably tense, and now the Moyashi seemed to be completely relaxed. Why the hell had he needed to read all those psychology books? When this idiot was in question, they weren't worth shit.

"I never said I wanted you to annoy the fucking hell out of me", Kanda replied darkly.

"You're the one annoying _me_, so exactly how am I supposed to _not_ react to that?" Allen stated bluntly as he leaned his back against the headboard, eyes closed and face void of emotions.

"And you so fucking look like it, too", Kanda answered, his voice filled with sarcasm. The conversation was really starting to get irritating.

Allen opened his eyes and the gray eyes turned straight towards him, gaze steady. "Wasn't this what you wanted? What you told me to do?" the boy asked, tone and expression serious all of a sudden. "Stop acting and all that? 'Cause I can stop this anytime if you don't like it."

Kanda's eyes narrowed in suspicion, thoughts reeling through his mind. "All this time -", he started, not letting the eye contact break, "- you've been doing your best _not_ to do that. Care telling me where's this sudden change of mind coming from?" The Moyashi had better not be trying anything stupid. He didn't want to prove his words, although if it went down to it, he'd ensure the boy didn't do the same mistake again. Regardless of what it was.

Allen's eyes flickered away from him and the Brit frowned almost uncomfortably. "I… It's not…" he started, stammering, then inhaled to calm his nerves. "What you're asking from me, what you're _requiring_, is to root out reflexes. It's not that simple, okay? Takes time."

Kanda arched an eyebrow at the Moyashi. "So you have a reflex to cower, whenever anybody so much as glances at you, and to look at the person's feet who's talking to you or who you are talking to?" he asked, not _quite_ mocking.

Allen moved slightly, his gaze still avoiding Kanda's. It was becoming obvious he didn't like talking about the topic. "I trust that you aren't naive enough to think that just because you aren't a sadist, nobody else is either", he said quietly, slightly bitter undertone flickering in his voice. "The World has its fair share of fucked up people, who enjoy fucking up other people's lives too."

Kanda was somewhat surprised at the words, seeing this was the first time for Allen to actually say pretty much anything about his past spontaneously. Every bit of information he'd needed to either rip out of the boy or collect by observing him when the other didn't pay enough attention to his own reactions. If this was a sign of that changing, the mission would finally have some progress. Though, he still had the hardest part ahead.

"Considering this situation, wouldn't you say I too fit into that category?" he asked arching up an eyebrow, careful not to sound too intimidating. This… _game_ with opinions and personalities wasn't something he particularly cared to do, more like the opposite, but the fact was he was good at it and that meant he had to do it.

"No, you don't", Allen answered, the words uncommonly firm. For a moment the eyes that stared up at Kanda were unbelievably grave, somber, so much more tired than what they should've been. Then the gaze shifted and there was a joking, mirthful glint in them as the boy continued. "Your morals are just slightly askew, that's all. I can cope with that."

"Oh? So my morals are just a little _askew_?"

"That was what I just said, wasn't it?"

The corners of his mouth twitched up to a smirk and without thinking Kanda crossed the distance between them. He wasn't completely sure what he was doing even when he leaned down to press his lips against Allen's lightly, but frankly, he didn't feel like pulling away. It had been just a mere whim, nothing more, nothing less, and he rather didn't think about the action all that much. It didn't matter either way.

Allen's head moved slightly when Kanda pulled away, his light gray eyes reflecting mild confusion as he stared at the Japanese. Still smirking faintly, Kanda reached his hand to slowly caress the boy's pale neck and, to his gratification, a slight shiver went up Allen's spine, causing the lithe body to shudder just barely enough for him to notice it.

"I'll take that as a compliment", Kanda said, his voice amused as he trailed small patterns on the Moyashi's neck with his thumb. "And you're right about that I don't get kicks from other's pain. So if everything goes well and I don't need to remind you of anything, you won't get hurt", he continued, steadily staring into the unblinking eyes of the younger male. "I'd think that is a fair settlement for the both of us."

"I-I…" Allen started, stuttering with the words at first. "Uh… Yeah, it is…" he mumbled, voice feeble. A soft tint of pink crept up to his cheeks and with a last nod he lowered his head. "I think I should sleep a little more…"

"Che."

With a snort Kanda pulled his hand away from the other's neck and stood up. This time Allen didn't try to stop him, but the feeling of eyes on his back vanished only after Kanda shut the door to the Moyashi's room behind him.

~XxX~

~XxX~

"Royal straight flush. You lost again Toma", a short haired man said, smiling almost apologetically as he laid the cards on the table. The slightly younger man sitting on the other chair stared desperately at them, before let his hand drop down.

"You're cheating, Suman", the man called Toma complained, but pulled out his wallet anyway and started counting how much he'd lost this time.

"You can't prove anything", Suman answered calmly, already collecting the cards from the table. The younger one muttered something apathetic under his breath, but the sentence got lost into the ear-splitting ruckus of the night club around them. Not bothering to ask what he had said, the taller man continued to shuffle the cards.

"Here", Toma said after a while, holding out a wad of bills. "That's all I have with me right now, so I'll give the rest tomorrow."

Suman stared at his hooded company for a moment before taking the money. "You know I'm letting you go with this just because you're my friend, right? If it hadn't been me, you would be very likely getting beaten up by now. Don't play with more than you really have."

Toma grinned sheepishly, fumbling with the sleeves of his hoodie. "Right. I won't. Sorry, Suman."

"Kids these days…" the man sighed tiredly as he pocketed the blue deck. Glancing at the almost empty shot-glass that sat on the table in front of him, he picked it up and drank the remaining alcohol easily. "Go get us new drinks. Something mild or Rod won't be happy with us."

Toma was about to complain, but never got a change to open his mouth as a soft click of a gun being loaded right next to his ear froze him and then the barrel was pressed against his temple. A cold voice spoke up.

"I'm afraid that has to wait, Suman Dark."

Okay, so I don't think Kanda is a person who would actually enjoy other's pain. He doesn't really mind it and as long as it's nothing near REAL torturing, he can beat the shit out of anybody. But no, he's not sadistic - at least, not in this story. But, that's about it. And points for anybody, who guesses who's holding the gun (it should not be the most obvious answer). And, like always, give me some feedback. ^^


	13. Chapter 13

So, I have one word to say: block. I hope it explains everything. Though, unfortunate enough, I can't promise anything about the next chapter, since summer is getting closer by each day and that means exams are even closer. And this year is an important one, so I can't screw up. But, worry not, I can't live without a(n unhealthy) doze of writing, even if it will very likely lead to my early death! Besides, I have annoying pack of plot bunnies around my house and they seem to be some evolved spieces that doesn't react to pesticides. Anyway...

Thanks to everybody who bothered to review and sorry for everyone I didn't have time to reply. You guys are awesome. ^^

And thanks, once again, to my great beta **XD-chan. **

**Warnings:** Allen's self-contemplations that might be disturbing to someone(???), maybe minor OOCness (just maybe) and... not-so-slow motion. Oh yeah, and what someone might consider for a cliffhanger.

**Disclaimer:** I don't know what is going to happen in the next DGM chapter, so noooo, I don't own it.

XxX

**Chapter 13**

**Just This Once**

**XxX**

Allen watched quietly as Kanda flipped the page of the book, his eyes moving over the lines with a steady speed. The man's hair, wet from the shower he'd taken just a short while ago – after beating him around quite successfully under the excuse of teaching him some self-defense – hung freely down to his shoulders and back. The water dripping from it made the tank top he wore damp, and very now and then a droplet fell onto the book's page, creating a darker spot. It was almost mesmerizing.

They'd been sitting in silence once again, just like usual, and oddly enough Allen found it almost amusing. In an unsettling, alluring way, but amusing none the less. As if they'd been friends – or lovers, considering the nature of their distorted relationship – and it just was so horribly, enchantingly _comical_. Maybe, if things hadn't been as they were, he could've called it halcyon.

But it was just maybe.

Absently Allen adjusted his position, eyes lingering blindly over the older man's features as his mind drifted away from the room. He knew his sense of surroundings was fast dissipating, his thoughts running away with him yet again in the wrong company. Though, it wasn't as if he tried to stop them anymore. It had become obvious he was building up an unhealthy bond to Kanda when he'd taken the offered pill without a second thought nearly a week ago, and there was really nothing he could do about it anymore.

There was really nothing he _wanted_ to do about it.

Which, in fact, was pretty masochistic.

'Cause, really, there were just that many possibilities of how things could end on his part, and all of them would just hurt him more if he got emotionally attached to the Japanese man that currently hold his ownership. It didn't matter if Kanda acted civil and humane towards him now, for the chances were he would still sell him away eventually. And that was the best case scenario – rationally thinking anyway. Other, less likely possibilities consisted of either one or both of them dying.

And still, Allen really couldn't bring himself to crush the nascent feeling of something that he quite couldn't place. It wasn't happiness or serenity and it certainly wasn't love, even though it sometimes resembled unnervingly much them. Most of all, it reminded him of the pride and contentment he'd felt whenever Mana had complimented him, even though it had nothing to do with being praised.

Maybe it was that Kanda treated him more like a human than anyone had done in years.

Curling into a better position on the sofa Allen bit lightly on his lower lip and sucked it in, lost in the thoughts of his bend up emotions. From the very first days under the older man's ownership he'd started to become more and more confused – about Kanda, about what the man wanted, about what he was supposed to be, about so many things. And now he was this wreck of sloppiness, absentmindedness and confusion, too enthralled of the changes to pull away even though he knew nothing good would ever come from any of it.

He was seriously going crazy.

But then again, a flicker of happiness could be worth a life of misery – a flicker Allen would never get if he didn't reach for it with all he had. After all, he was soiled, every part of his body bore a stain or blemish, done by those who'd touched him over the past years, who he'd let touch him. Such a person as he could never gain anything but pain and torment without sacrificing everything they had.

And no, Allen didn't think of himself as an object, as a thing to possess by anyone who just wished so. He was a human, a person like everyone else was and therefore he had rights. Rights to be free, rights to decide of his own life and body, rights to never experience torture of any kind, rights to say no when he didn't want something. It was illegal to take them away from him, despite of anything he'd ever done or left undone. But none of that erased the fact that he was tarnished beyond a chance for redemption.

It wasn't bad in a way that committing a crime was, for he hadn't done the decisions with his own free will but had been merely forced to endure them. He hadn't hurt anyone, nor taken a life or subjected those weaker than him – he was innocent in the terms of law and, in a way, his conscience too. What he'd done, thought, was still wrong, was still just as immoral and unsightly. It had taken all chances of bringing about anything good, anything pure from him, and now he could only taint things he touched. His sins would be counted in that what he marred.

It was saddening, almost…

Allen was awakened from his thoughts when a loud music shattered the silence of the library-room. He flinched at the sound, eyes scooting over to where Kanda was sitting, a black cell phone already in the man's hand. He was frowning at the little device, angry and irritated, maybe even slightly perplexed by the way his gaze swept over the display several times. Allen cocked his head to the side, mildly interested in what caused the man to act in such a way, and Kanda glanced at him.

The tone kept ringing.

"I can leave if you want to."

The dark eyes shifted.

"Stay."

Five minutes later found Allen running his fingers through dark strands, slowly massaging the older man's scalp whilst Kanda barged out curses at world's general stupidity and tried not start breaking things. And, somehow, the albino couldn't bring himself to worry about how much it all made him feel right.

XxX

His world was made of blur. Everything was indistinct and hazy and red, either too bright or too dark but always _red_, red like blood, red like gore, red with black, red with white, red on his back, red on his side, red, red, red. He tried to see, feel, hear, _anything_, forever alone in the red fog with no senses. It was indefinite, endless, and eternal and he didn't know how long he floated in that world of madness, barely aware of his own existence, hardly even existing.

Slowly, slowly the red mist thinned around him, turned into the colorful blackness of his closed eyelids, the heavy scent lingering in the air, the soft silk pressed against his skin, the air caressing his lips as he breathed, and just as slowly his eyes opened to see more red. Confusion swirled inside him. Why was there still red? Hadn't he woken up? Where was this?

Tardily, heavily he turned his head, saw his hair – white – spilled over cardinal sheets, a chair standing next to the bed and a wall of mirror where a pale, disoriented boy stared back at him with groggy, gray eyes. Languidly he rolled around and brought his hands under him, pushed up until he was kneeling on the mattress. Pain seared his head abruptly, made him cry out softly, before dulling away.

Where was he?

The question flashed through his mind again, but he couldn't find the answer, couldn't hold his focus long enough to remember. Everything felt oddly fluffy, soft, subdued, and as he slid his legs – bare – over the bed's edge, he noticed he hardly even felt the floor, _carpet, _underneath his skin.

He raised his head up, gazed at the mirror again, at the boy staring back at him, and noticed that the reflection was wearing an oversized dress-shirt. Idly he fumbled with the sleeves and let the blank, emotionless eyes slip from his view as he shakily stood up. His legs felt weak, like they hadn't been used for a long time.

The world swayed when he took the first step, a little more with the second and then every time he shifted his weight from one leg to another, dragging each limb forward slowly. He wasn't sure where he was going, what he was doing, but he couldn't focus on anything for longer than a few seconds before it would slip away, so he didn't even try to find answers to the fleeting questions which his mind supplied.

Eyes hazy, glazed over he shambled forward, stumbling. The mat under his toes was too soft and he felt like sinking, falling. The fluffy, disoriented feeling got worse, until his balance betrayed him and he swayed forward, heavy, too heavy to stand up. His legs gave in, knees hit the floor, and he slumped against something solid.

A table.

He breathed slowly, tardily, raised his hands up to feel the edge of the furniture, to pull him arduously up, back onto his feet. World pulsated, his head hurt, vision blurred to darkness, then back to light. Panting he closed his eyes, swallowed, opened them, closed and opened again.

There was _red_, red, red, red. Dark, black, bright, vivid, _red_. He couldn't see anything else, it was everywhere. Red on knives, red on hooks, red on cloths, red everywhere – dripping, trickling, sticking. The air was red, the scent was red, his hands were _red_, and he tried to stumble away, tried not to see, tried, tried, tried.

"_Seems like you woke up, Shounen."_

Pain broke through him like an incandescent iron had been poured into him and he burned. Burned, burned, burned. Unbearable, excruciating heat, fire, _agony_. It seared, scorched until he couldn't breath, couldn't cry, couldn't beg. There was no flames, nothing to extinguish, nothing at all, nothing, nothing, nothing. Just the never ending inferno, just the heat, just the pain, and he _screamed _–.

XxX

Something shattered Kanda's concentration to million pieces, shoving his mind out of the emptiness called meditation and his body up to its feet even before he realized what had actually happened. For half a second he stood still on his tracks, all muscles tensed, itching to reach for Mugen that wasn't strapped on his hips as his senses tried to locate any possible threat.

But nothing could be heard in the darkness of his room.

Kanda frowned.

XxX

Allen's fingers dug into his skin as he clutched his head, eyes shut tight and uncontrollable shudders rocking through his body as he lied on the bed. Fear seared through him like ice water, cold enough to burn, making every second flare with pain. Images flashed across his mind, reminding him of the lingering touches that refused to fade over time, so frigid, so unbearable as they scraped over his skin like a grater.

'_Seems like you woke up, Shonen.'_

Allen gasped for air, desperately trying to ease the sensation of drowning that was pulling him down into the cold depths of his nightmare. Cruel laughter rang in his ears and whispers filled his mind as memories he didn't want to remember resurfaced once again. His eyes shot wide open, pupils dilating when they were met with darkness of his room and a broken gasp escaped from his lips.

'_Sleeping time's over, boy.'_

'_Come here, I want to see you.'_

'_Shonen.'_

'_Wake up, wake up. It's not fun if you're not awake.'_

'_Shonen.'_

'_Sleepy, aren't we?'_

'_No, not yet. We're not quite done for today.'_

'_Shonen.'_

'_Shonen.'_

'_Keep your eyes open. We need to patch you up again. It wouldn't be fun if you died from a blood loss, now would it, Shonen?'_

'_Shonen_._'_

'_Shonen.'_

'_Shonen.'_

"No, no, no, no, no, _no_", Allen's whispers broke like crystal and he curled into himself, hand clenching as he tried to make his breathing calm down. The voice inside his head faltered ever so slightly, and the spiraling chaos of fear, haze and madness slowed down, until he wasn't choking under the pressure anymore. Shadows swirled in front of his still wide eyes, blackness trying to consume him.

A choked gasp left Allen's lips.

He didn't want this, not now, not ever. He didn't want to hear that voice, murmuring in his ear like they were lovers, not the whispers, not the touches, not the searing, harrowing pain, nothing, nothing at all. He'd gone through the nightmares already, so why were they back again? He'd gone through them!

Allen inhaled sharply, his hand tightening its hold on the sheets, and unsteadily he pushed himself up against the headboard. His ears were pounding along with his heart, eyes regarding the darkness in all but panic.

Why couldn't he be left alone?

What had he done?

When would it be _over_?

Allen clenched the sheets in his hands and swallowed as the darkness seemed to move, before settling down again. Fear tightened its hold on him, threatened to drown him into the cold depths of terror, until he would be ready to go out of his mind. Fighting against the panic he waited as seconds passed after seconds, the only audible sounds in the room his own breathing and the constant ticking of the alarm-clock on the bedside table. Slowly, his heartbeat decelerated.

"It's okay. You're alone, no one is here", Allen whispered, voice shaking slightly as he tried to reassure himself. "He can't find you, he won't bother. No one will hurt you, no one. Just… calm down. There's nothing but shadows here and shadows can do nothing. Nothing at all."

Still, his eyes kept dashing from one side of the room to another, a primitive instinct spurred to activity by fear. With difficulty Allen forced the dread to let go of his limbs and ever so slowly reached towards the small table, groping around until he found what he was looking for. A soft click made bright light pierce through the darkness, banishing the ominous shadows to the corners of the room. Allen winced as it struck his unprepared eyes and he was compelled to close them for a moment.

When he finally dared to crack his eyelids open again, he wasn't alone in the room.

XxX

A gunshot went off, and in the eerie silence that followed the sound of a body hitting the ground was unnaturally loud. Blood was mixed with water and crimson trails spread slowly wider away from the corpse. A golden ring made a soft ting as it slipped off the thin finger and rolled into the shadows of the alleyway.

The hand that held the gun was lowered and a blond woman calmly walked over the dead man, dropping the gun next to the puddle of blood. A pair of dimmed eyes, frozen into a horrified expression, stared after the perfectly unstained figure as she pulled out a simple cell phone and lifted it to her ear.

"I have the information."

Next to a rusty old dumpster bloody fingers curled around the wedding ring.

The rain began to fall.

XxX

Silence.

"Why are you awake, Moyashi?"

Kanda was staring at Allen with unreadable eyes from the doorway, one hand resting on the handle. The hallway behind him was dark, no light had been switched on, and when the boy's gaze swept over the unsheathed katana in the man's other hand, he couldn't help the dreadful feeling in his stomach. Why was Kanda standing in his room in the middle of the night, a sword drawn? What was he doing?

"I just woke up before you came in", Allen said, inhaling a little unsteadily as he tried to make the nervous fluttering go away. Kanda wasn't the type to hurt people without a good reason and he hadn't done anything. Right? "I didn't even have time to turn on the lamp", he continued, yet the words sounded feeble even in his own ears.

The man just arched an eyebrow, albeit his expression was more sarcastic than skeptical. "That doesn't really answer to the question", he snorted, eyeing the room as if he expected someone to jump out of thin air. "Did something wake you up?"

Allen blinked at the tone of the voice, oddly enough feeling reassured and uneasy at the same time. It didn't seem like Kanda was going to do anything to him, yet at the same time nearly everything about the man screamed that something was off. And he had the urge to get up and go to the taller male. Trying to brush the feeling off Allen shifted to a better position, and immediately Kanda's gaze was back on him.

Silence.

"Well? I asked if something woke you up", the man repeated after a second of stillness, staring at him piercingly.

"It's… It's nothing", Allen said, quickly avoiding the glare. He really wouldn't have cared to share the reason for his late night insomnia with Kanda. Thank god the panic attack had at least worn off. He didn't need the embarrassment of being seen in such a state. "There's no reason."

"You're lying", Kanda stated bluntly, and his voice sounded far too dull for Allen's liking. Not that he understood why. Then again, _that_ certainly hadn't been unusual for the last month or so. Sighing, he glanced up at the long haired man and was tempted to wince as he realized he'd already lost the useless struggle. The albino looked away again.

"Fine", he murmured, a slightly frustrated lilt to his voice. "I had a nightmare, okay? I had a nightmare and I woke up to it and that's all there is to it. Is that enough of an explanation?"

"A nightmare?" Kanda repeated, the faintest amount of surprise in his voice, and Allen felt like punching the bloody idiot for it. Although, if he'd stopped to think about it, he would've probably been downright shocked for ever daring to want something like that.

He didn't stop to think about it.

"Yes, a nightmare", Allen nearly scowled, just barely regaining enough sense not to continue the retort. "And then I had a short panic attack, but as you can see everything is fine now", he kept on going, not knowing what possessed him to say those words. "Is there something _else_ you want to know?"

Kanda stared at him, mild surprise still evident from his expression, albeit it was quickly replaced by a less distinct one. Allen felt a dangerously feeble sting of insecurity in his gut, before it got washed away completely as the older man closed his eyes, frowning in a fashion that he recognized for weariness. There was a short moment of silence again.

"Che. Whatever", Kanda finally snorted, lifting his hand up to rest the katana on his shoulder, and it was then that Allen realized the other one was still wearing the clothes he'd had earlier on the day. From the looks of it, Kanda had only taken off the white cardigan and dropped all thoughts of getting to bed there.

A mild frown made its way to his features as Allen glanced at the alarm clock. In the soft light of the room the fingers pointed quarter past midnight and his brows furrowed further. "You haven't gotten any sleep yet?" the question was out of his mouth before he could even think about asking it, creating a sudden silence.

"Get back to sleep", Kanda answered after a moment, his voice uncommonly neutral – almost quiet – and when Allen raised his eyes to meet the man's, they seemed to hold too many thoughts in them. Too many secrets, bottled up and sealed away. Like a swirling pool of black and blue that hid everything underneath the surface, a one-way mirror preventing anyone from seeing in, shielding, protecting.

And it was exactly then, as Kanda stood there and stared at him with those unreadable eyes, that Allen did the most reckless decision of his life.

"Do you need to wake early tomorrow?" he asked almost too abruptly, voice calm and unwavering, even though inside of him he'd never felt so ardent, so frenzied. He'd never felt so sensitive.

"What?" the Japanese man asked, before shaking his head sharply as if to take back the question. "No, I told you get back to sleeping. So sack out already, Moyashi."

Allen let a soft smile grace his lips as he pushed the blanket off of himself and slipped out of the bed. The scowl on Kanda's face didn't make him to stop and within second he was standing in front of the man, head bent back fractionally to be able to see the taller one's face properly. Kanda just frowned at him, trying to pierce through him with a glare, and Allen could feel his heartbeat increasing rapidly as the eyes bore into him. Slowly, arms almost trembling, he lifted his hands up to the Japanese's shoulders, locking them behind his neck.

"I asked, whether or not you need to wake up early tomorrow", he whispered.

No, Allen really didn't care anymore.

XxX

For those who didn't like Allen having a panic attack, no need to worry. It is very unlikely for him to have another one within this story. But he really is afraid of Tyki, so there you have proof of it... And oh, I was rather surprised that no one (as far as I still remember) got the mystery person with a gun right. If I say the person was the same as in this chapter, is it more obvious? ^^


	14. Chapter 14

Once again: Sorry this took so long. And regardless I seem to be saying that with every chapter, I do mean it. I'm really sorry that the school is killing me, I'm really sorry that I'm dead tired and I'm really sorry that the last DGM chapter had only 21 pages... =_= XD But really, I've been busy as hell, so yeah... **But, **big big big thanks for everyone who's still putting up with me and bothers to review, I love you all like crazy even though I don't always manage to reply to everyone! ^^

Great thanks to my beta **XD-chan** too!

Though, sorry for those (aka all of you) that were waiting for some Yullen action in the beginning. It's... not there. But there's a scene later! (A crappy one... I'm really not up to writing sex lately... =_=') As an apology, this is the second longest chapte so far (I think).

**Warnings:** Naked men (Holy crap, I just realized they're naked, like, during the _whole_ chapter...), sleepy Kanda (aka OOCness... maybe?), minor sex scene (crappy) and finally, there is Lavi (_Lavi! Run everyone! [- This is what happens when my brain are over exhausted... *_*] Ruuuuuun!)_. And that's it.

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own -man. I'm not even Japanese.

**Chapter 14**

**Take What You Can**

**~XxX~**

Kanda woke up to a ray of light burning against his eyelids. Groggily he blinked, trying to banish the disorientation from his mind to little avail. His limbs seemed unusually heavy, muscles oddly sore yet still relaxed, and it was almost as if all strength had been poured out of his body. He was feeling languid and drowsy, something he was sure he never felt, and regardless of how abnormal it was supposed to be, Kanda couldn't bring himself to care. He didn't want to move from his spot on the strangely too soft mattress that held a nearly unfamiliar scent to it, not even move his head away from the sun despite the stinging in his eyes. He felt simply too good to do that.

For a long time Kanda stayed unmoving, just lying on his back and letting his eyes get scorched out of their sockets. The white ceiling made the room seem even brighter, and if the light hadn't been cold like it was, he would've easily imagined himself in some Mediterranean hotel. Not that he'd ever go there – the climate was just too hot and he hated tourists anyway – but it just looked like that. In a way. If you thought about it.

Well, whatever.

Something nagged at the back of his mind, and slowly Kanda became aware of the quiet breathing just few, short inches away from him on his left. Eyebrows rising ever so slightly in mild surprise, he mustered up enough strength to turn his head to the side so he could see the source of the soft sound. When the peaceful, pale face, still perfectly engulfed in sleep, came to his sight, Kanda couldn't help but stare in what resembled bemusement.

Allen's head was tilted to right, his ivory hair sticking to his face and partly covering the jagged scar. His lips, slightly swollen, were parted gently to let the air flow in and out effortlessly as he breathed, and here and there on his neck were faint, red marks. But what made Kanda really look, was the web of dozens of scars marring the boy's entire upper body, starting from his collarbones and continuing all the way over his chest and stomach just to disappear under the sheet that clung to his waist. Of course he'd seen them before, during the times he'd forced himself on Allen for the sake of keeping up appearances – it was just that he'd never actually paid the mostly faint lines enough attention to realize just _how many _the Moyashi had.

And not for the first time Kanda wondered just who the hell the albino was.

Then it finally sunk in that he was in _Allen's _room, lying on _Allen's _bed and that _Allen _was right next to him, asleep, while he had a fucking field day examining the said boy's body. That and they were both naked. His eye twitched. What…?

"_I asked, whether or not you have to wake up early tomorrow?"_

"'_Cause I too can want things, you know."_

"_Come on, don't be so stiff."_

"_Just like that…"_

Memories of clear gray eyes staring up at him almost defiantly, soft lips pressing to his skin fervently, mismatched hands wandering back and forth, quiet words spoken in a hazy tone between gasps and moans, silk between his fingers – details after torrid details filled Kanda's mind, intoxicating him with the intensity of the images that flowed through his head. For a moment it felt like he was dreaming while awake, so real, so tangible it was to have the memories of last night wash over him. He could feel Allen's skin under his hands, feel the younger one's heat, hear him call out his name with a voice he'd never before heard leave from the boy's lips, and it was simply divine.

Nothing like the times before.

Kanda was startled out of his stupor only when he really _did _feel a brush of skin under his fingers as they came to contact with the Moyashi's midriff. Blinking rather stupidly at his hand that seemed to have suddenly gained its own will, he cast a quick glance towards Allen's face. The boy didn't appear to be anyway disturbed by the light touch, so Kanda – after a sort moment of contemplation on whether or not he should do it – slid his hand over the soft, albeit ragged texture of the boy's stomach. It didn't feel bad even when he was in complete – or at least almost complete – sense of his actions, and he could see why he hadn't paid so much attention to the scars before. If you didn't see them, it was easy to miss they even were there.

No, it didn't feel bad at all.

Kanda was still running his hand up and down the Moyashi's upper body when he felt the muscles under his fingertips shrink momentarily before relaxing again. He raised his eyes back to Allen's face, just to see the boy dazedly blinking sleep from his hazy gray eyes. With slight umbrage and reprimand towards himself the Japanese man made to pull his hand back, although the still drowsy gaze caught his movement anyway.

Yawning Allen stretched out, seemingly not at all put off by either waking up next to him, or having the man's fingers touching him like that. Looking content, the boy shifted to lie more on his side and smiled very faintly.

"Morning, did you sleep well?"

Kanda was just barely able to stop himself from blinking and instead willed his features as blank as he could. "Che. Your room is too bright," he managed to grunt out, all the while trying to fight down the instinctive urge to go on the defensive and push away as quickly as possible. Allen hadn't done anything for him to act that way, and besides, causing mistrust was the last thing he should be doing at the moment.

The boy just sank deeper into the mattress, curling up to a more comfortable position. "How's that my fault?" he asked with a somewhat muffled voice, half-lidded eyes staring up at Kanda from the pillow. "We've never _slept _together before. I didn't know you wake up so easily."

"Che."

"Hn."

Allen's eyes fluttered close again, soft sigh leaving his lips, and they were enfolded in fairly cozy silence. Kanda shifted to turn his back to the too bright sun, and once the light stopped burning in his eyes he let them slip fully open. Albeit, due to their closeness, there was hardly anything else to look at than the pale boy bathing in sunlight right next to him. Almost unconsciously his gaze traveled back to the scars.

It really was like a spider web – the lines ran over each other, the cuts clean and straight to the point of being surgically precise. At the first glance, it just looked like disordered, scrappy mass of old slashes clustered over the years, but once you started actually _looking_ at them you could see, see the way the scars seemed to form a pattern becoming more and more obvious. It wasn't an image or figure, there wasn't a picture to see, yet Kanda couldn't help the feeling in the back of his head that said someone had _planned _the order of the scars.

That someone had made the Moyashi's body their fucking _canvas_.

"Are you bothered by them?"

The sudden question brought his eyes back to Allen's face and this time he found that the gray eyes were fully open, looking at him with calmness that couldn't quite mask the apprehension swirling behind it. Without thinking he frowned at the expression, more out of confusion than anger, but the reaction it caused was still the same. Allen moved his disfigured left arm a little, trying to shy away from his gaze as if he became aware of his bareness all of a sudden. For some reason, it made Kanda feel indignant.

"No."

"Ah", Allen mumbled, looking slightly lost for a second. "Good. Most people would be, and it's not nice to lie with a person you find… foul."

_A hand trailed up his spine and then the soft lips pressed to his, subtle and hungry. Kanda didn't bother to think anymore what he did as he returned the kiss, tilting the boy's head back with a mild yank of the white hair. Splendid, wide eyes opened when he pulled away, sparkling with hazy want._

'_Foul?' _Kanda thought, not understanding how Allen could think of himself like that. All sappy metaphors and poetic visions aside, the plain fact was that the boy had attractive features. He was soft and graceful but not in a too feminine way, his body was well built, all parts proportionate, nothing too small or too big, and despite his slimness he wasn't scrawny in a too unhealthy way. The long healed wounds could've left a lot worse marks than the scars his flesh bore – not even the ones on his left arm and face were bad enough to call him _foul_. Not in Kanda's eyes at least.

"Che. People are too easily repulsed."

"I… don't know", Allen mumbled, eyes shunning away as if insecure. After a moment of staring at nothing, the awkwardness between them almost tangible, the boy sighed softly and relaxed. "Maybe."

Kanda took in the vague melancholy and resignation of the Moyashi's expression, the way how the boy seemed weary with trying not to be tired, how he looked so frustratingly much like a person with a sickness that couldn't be cured. He hadn't looked like that when he'd stepped into the rented apartment for the first time, when his face had been a mixture of constant fear and hollow servility of a person who didn't appear to care what happened to him so long as his fears didn't come true. Something had changed since that, something that had made the boy gain even a flicker of will to live, and Kanda didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing. Either way, he knew he might not get another opportunity as good as this.

Seize the day, as Lavi would've said.

"Who… made them?" Kanda hadn't expected his voice to come out as soft as it did, not in a way that sounded something akin to _kind_. He had intended the words to be bland and neutral, indifferent enough to be passed as a mere curiosity in case they put the Moyashi on alert yet not too impassive. He didn't want to scare him away. But the face the boy directed at him was purely surprised.

"Who…?" Allen repeated, his gray eyes clearing from their drowsiness with speed that made Kanda think he'd screwed up the change anyway. "Why…? I… But… I mean…" the boy stammered, confusion and apprehension growing in his gaze faster than the disconnected words slipped from his mouth. It seemed like he'd suddenly forgotten to keep his emotions in check and out of his face. "You… want to…?"

Without thinking Kanda lifted his right hand to Allen's face and pressed his fingers over his mouth, silencing him. He didn't know why and in all honestly didn't really care at the moment either, but there was something in the back of his mind that told him to stay calm and not let the Moyashi panic. Because he needed Allen to trust him – needed him to confide to him.

"Who made them?" Kanda asked again, voice steady as he lowered his hand. "Tell me. I want to know."

The pale gray eyes wavered, reluctance and nervousness so evident in them that he didn't need to try in order to identify the feelings. They were as plain to see as the blueness of the sky, clear and bold in a way that was nearly alarming, for Allen usually never let his thoughts slip through the mask of whatever neutral emotion he faked. But right then even a blind man could've seen he wasn't comfortable with the topic. Far from it. The boy closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

"I…" he breathed out, then changed his mind and started again. "It's not like… I wouldn't want to… tell you. I just can't, Kanda. I can't." Allen glanced at him quickly, biting his lips at whatever he thought he saw in his expression. "I-it's like a… an unwritten law to never talk about your past owners. No one ever mentions it, no one ever infringes it, but really, there's no need to. Everyone learns it before learning anything else. I'm… sorry."

Kanda bit back the frustrated groan that tried to escape from his throat at the Moyashi's words. Yes, he fucking knew prostitutes were hardly ever willing to give away anything regardless of whether they were of purchasers or other whores. That was the whole point why he was doing this, damn it! He didn't need to be told about unwritten laws or rules that were never said aloud. Anyone that had worked even a month on something related to human trafficking knew that the complexity of etiquette in prostitution circles was second only to those of high schools'.

And he was supposed to make Allen break them.

"Che. Fine", Kanda grunted out, unable to completely cover his emotions. "No names then, no descriptions. Just tell me how it happened." It would be enough for now, he had time after all.

Allen looked at him with uncertainty and confusion, lips gently parted as if he was going to say something but was afraid to. Although Kanda couldn't find any fear in his eyes anymore – Allen just stared at him like he couldn't understand a word he said, like he was something rare and miraculous, completely beyond the boy's comprehension. It was bizarre and chaotic and with slowness that had everything to do with his unwillingness to involve himself in other people's emotions, Kanda realized it was repressed hope.

He had no time to decide if it was a good or a bad thing.

"Honestly, I just don't know what to make of you", Allen said, cracking a mirthless laugh. "You… you're so different from everyone else, you're nothing like what you're _supposed _to be and… and I – what am I even doing here, Kanda? If I had to name a one person in the entire bloody world that would never buy a prostitute, I'd point to you. It's… just beyond me."

All thoughts about the dulled hope in the Moyashi's expression vanished in a blink of an eye as Kanda's mind came to a screeching halt. Fortunately Allen hadn't decided to end his speech just yet, for otherwise Kanda would've been left to gaping with no idea what to do next.

"I don't mean to question you or… anything. It's not like that and you know it", the boy said rather sheepishly, closing his eyes to Kanda's relief. "I'm too scared to do that. Yet… if it wasn't you that I'm talking to, I'd be too afraid to even say these things. I'd be too afraid to do anything I hadn't been told to do." Here he laughed, it was an incredibly soft laugh, dry and ironic almost, and Kanda couldn't help but think it didn't suit Allen at all. "And I _am _still afraid, 'cause I know that in the end, I'll always be the one to get hurt. So… if you're testing me, I… I want -."

"Che. I'm not testing you, baka Moyashi", Kanda cut in, startling the boy. "And if you really think I'd be the last person to buy another human, then you're stupid and naive."

Allen blinked at him, surprise evident from his slightly widened eyes. Slowly it melted into a soft, yet genuine smile that lighted up his features despite the wavering insecurity swirling behind everything else. Sunlight painted his pale skin with veil of faint gold, pure and unadorned like no one had ever touched him even if the scars on him proved otherwise. Faster than Kanda could really comprehend, a perfectly irrelevant thought grazed his mind, barely even rising up to his consciousness, just lingered in the very back of his head for a fraction of a second and then was gone like it had never even existed.

Only the memory of a feeling was left for him to grasp.

"You're right, Kanda. I'm stupid and naive", Allen said smiling and Kanda's gaze was pulled back to focus. Though, when it had drifted off of it, he didn't know. "So I'll tell you how if you really want to know. But I'm not stupid and naive enough to tell who or when."

"Then stop talking about telling and start to actually tell me something", Kanda snorted, scowling mildly. Instead of getting what he'd asked for, though, he found himself pulled gently closer to the Moyashi until their faces were just inches apart.

"I will, I will. But do me favor first, please?" Allen murmured, amused and annoyed at the same time.

Kanda arched up an eyebrow, more out of habit than real curiosity. "What?"

The boy leaned even closer, soft lips pressing against his jaw.

"Fuck me."

~XxX~

Allen hadn't really been expecting anything specific. He hadn't thought up different scenarios or imagined alternative options of what Kanda would do. It was more like a spur of the moment thing – unplanned and impulsive, a whim or an urge, nothing he'd thought of before it had already been done.

But he sure as hell wasn't expecting Kanda to first _freeze _like he'd just revealed that he'd seen the Japanese man dancing cancan wearing a frilly, pink dress in some gay bar, and then throw him on his back faster than Allen could see him moving. Air was knocked out of his lungs, leaving him gasping dazedly for his breath. Next thing he knew, Kanda's hands were pressing him down to the mattress whilst a too hot tongue tried to pry his lips open with force he didn't know how to answer to.

When the older man finally pulled away, Allen was half-unconscious from the lack of oxygen.

"Gha…! Haa-hah-ha… Wait a… ha… second… will you?" he coughed out, rolling onto his side as much as he could seeing he was pretty much trapped by Kanda's arms and legs. "No need to be… so enthusiastic. I'm all yours anyway… so… not going anywhere."

There was a short, lingering silence that Allen paid no attention in favor of catching his breath. A silence he noticed only when Kanda broke it. And suddenly, the thundering soundlessness became nearly deafening in his ears.

"Mine?"

The word – such a simple, innocent word – made him realize what he'd said just a brief moment ago, without thinking about what he meant by it, without thinking at all. But Kanda had noticed it, had picked it up from the mess of sentences he'd been panting out carelessly to throw it back at is face, so he'd be forced to think. Because the man had asked and now he had to answer, since no one could left something like that just hanging in the air without explanation. Because he needed that answer for himself too now.

At that moment Allen would've liked more than anything to be able to understand Kanda.

He turned his head until he was staring up at the Asian features – the nearly cream-colored skin shadowed by the jet-black strands, the thin lips that were left slightly apart, the strong yet graceful line of the yaw, the blue eyes so dark that they were actually nothing but black, the ever present scowl that never really faded completely – and he realized he didn't want to take those words back. 'Cause, really, it was fine even if he didn't.

"Yours. As long as I can", Allen said without waiting for an answer as he folded his arms around the man's neck much like the night before. "Don't bother yourself with it. Having a person isn't really all that big deal and not always is it even a matter of literally owning someone."

"What?"

Allen almost laughed at the confusion in Kanda's voice. "I told you not to think about it", he answered as he flopped back down on the mattress, fingers still entwined in the man's hair. "Really. Carpe diem, as they say and I don't think that inquiring about my metaphors is the most important thing at the moment."

The man raised an eyebrow at him again, though only in quarter of mockery. "Che. Baka Moyashi. You shouldn't say things if you're not intending to give them any meaning."

Allen had to repress a laugh. "Honestly", he murmured, gaze wandering to where his fingers tangled themselves in Kanda's hair. It was strange to feel so carefree, so _relaxed _in someone's embrace. "If you keep that up I'm going to think you don't _want to _lay with me. Am I not desirable enough for you? Hm?" A grin tugging the corner of his mouth he pulled the older man's face closer to his and let his eyelids flutter almost close. "Well, what is it?"

Kanda didn't say anything, just slid his fingers into his hair and pulled him up to a kiss not quite as feverish as the previous one. Allen let his eyes slip fully closed, enjoying the feeling of warm hands on his skin as he was guided to sit against the headboard, legs spread to allow the man to press closer. A warm hand trailed slowly over his hips to his thigh and he knew this time would be quick.

Not that he minded.

Allen knew that the things he'd undergone before probably distorted what he was experiencing at the moment, making it seem better than it really was, but every touch, every kiss Kanda laid on him felt so incredibly gentle he could hardly stop himself from writhing. It was intoxicating, addictive, and the effect it had on him wasn't lessened even the slightest by the fact that it wasn't as good as he thought it was, because Kanda just wasn't a tender person.

Allen was fine with that too.

The hand on his tight slid further down as Kanda's lips left his in favor of touching his neck. Another hand moved down his spine to the small of his back and the man pressed flush against him. Allen didn't bother muffling the appreciating moan that tumbled from his mouth, no longer afraid of letting his voice spring free. Even though he could still count the times they had slept together with his fingers, this was nothing like the first time. Back then he'd been self-conscious and rigid and had done nothing more than lain under the man, trying to appear as docile as he could. Now he wanted this, enjoyed it.

Couldn't get enough.

'_You're such a whore, aren't you?'_

He almost smiled before the expression was whipped away by a startled moan of discomfort and surprise. Kanda's finger pushed deeper in and Allen draped his hands around the man's shoulders, closing his eyes as he forced himself to relax. A warm mouth kissed his collarbone with slowness that felt off compared to the speed they were proceeding at, yet he couldn't help but feel reassured by it. With a soft sigh he picked his head up from the wall where it had landed in some point and leant forward to brush his lips over Kanda's forehead.

The man gave a mild bite to his neck before lifting his face to kiss him. Without hesitation Allen answered, parting his lips for entrance as Kanda's free hand came up to pull him closer by his hair. Complying with the wordless command he returned the favor, fingers sunk in the black strands to stroke the Japanese's scalp. The kiss got more forceful, almost to a bruising level, and within a moment Allen found himself pinned firmly against the headboard by the other's body. Second finger pushed inside of him, neither gentle nor harsh, and he groaned into Kanda's mouth.

It was wonderful, amazing, how every little touch, every brush of lips could send him closer to ecstasy. How he didn't need to think or hold back, how he could let go and allow the flow to just _take _him until he was drowning in the pleasure, drowning in Kanda. It was so overwhelming, so intense and he felt safe, strong, weak, content, _alive_, so many things that he couldn't even begin separate them from each other. It wasn't _perfect_, it was _everything _and he didn't want it to stop.

A hand pressed against his face pulled Allen's gaze back to focus and only then did he notice that Kanda had already finished preparing him. The realization made him feel stupid for being so distracted, but he had hardly time to mull over it as the man didn't wait with pulling him closer until Allen was practically straddling him. He gasped rather dazedly at the feeling of Kanda's erection pressing against him, absentmindedly noting that the man had also managed to add the lubricant without him noticing anything.

Well, it didn't really matter.

"Kanda…"

Hands grabbed Allen's hips firmly and guided him all the way down. His hold on Kanda's back tightened momentarily before he relaxed again, groaning gently as he let his head fall against the other's shoulder. A few wisps of Kanda's hair glided down his left arm, the light touch almost tickling, and when soft lips pressed to his neck, for a second he wanted to cry.

Then Kanda thrust upwards and hit his prostate.

"Ha…!"

Allen would take what he could and he'd enjoy it as long as it lasted.

~XxX~

Lavi tapped the counter impatiently as the phone rang for the fourth time. He'd called twice already and was getting both irritated and anxious. What could Kanda possibly be doing to _not _answer his phone? Sure, Yuu didn't always carry it with him, but they had an ongoing operation on hand and communication was done via phone, so it didn't make sense for him to just leave it somewhere. And the man wasn't ignoring him either or otherwise he would've hung up on him, because Kanda just simply couldn't stand listening the ringing…

"_What?"_

Lavi nearly dropped from his chair.

"_Usagi?"_

"Yuu-chan?! Why didn't you pick up? I called twice already!" he wailed into the receiver, all worry from the moment before forgotten.

"_Shut up. I'm not going to listen to you if you don't have anything sensible to say."_

Lavi grinned. "Why so serious?"

"_That's it. I'm going to disable your calls."_

"Wait, wait, wait! I'll cut the crap, okay!"

"_Che."_

Lavi rolled his eye at the monosyllable and flipped open the folder that lay on the counter in front of him. His mood darkened. "You alone?"

"_What do you think?" _Kanda scoffed from the other end of the line.

"You could always be in bed with your Moyashi-chan", Lavi commented, though only half-heartedly, and moved on without waiting for an answer. "Anyway, we have a problem."

"_He's not_—" the man started but trailed off almost instantly. _"What's the problem?"_

The change of subject didn't go unnoticed by Lavi, but he decided to let it be for now. They had a more important matter at hand. "Leverrier managed to convince someone to cut the project's budget. Our remaining time got halved."

"_What?"_

"You heard me", he said, frowning at the words on the document. "You have to make the kid talk within a month or so. After that everything will be disbanded. Well, at least he'll get his life back no matter the outcome."

There was only silence from the other end.

Lavi blinked. "Yuu-chan?"

"_Che. Don't call me that."_

And he hung up.

**~XxX~**

Guess three times why Kanda wasn't answering his phone... XD

(Oh, yeah. And I think this chapter is a bit of a joke. If you remember what Kanda thinks at one point in the first half of the chapter and then compare that with the point of Lavi's call, there's a quite a bit of cosmic irony there... Don't you think?)


	15. Chapter 15

Geez, it's been like month and a half? And this isn't even the betaed version. I'm such a looser... =_= And family vacations are a pain. Well, at least they'll be over soon.

But, I'll be gone for a week (again) and because I have no guarantees that my relative's computer will work, I just give you the unbetaed version of this chapter. It's been just too long... Sigh.

**Warnings:** Weird behavior (again), Tyki, plot moving forward (for a change) and a gun.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything at all (except my mp3 and our DVD-player).

XxX

XxX

**Chapter 15**

**Their Time Is Running Out**

**XxX**

**XxX**

A soft knock on the door interrupted Tyki Mikk from his thoughts and with a slight frown he lowered his wineglass onto the table. He'd been having a rather pleasant daydream, a one which he planned to actualize once he had everyone he needed in his grasp and the situation completely under control, and he wasn't exactly happy to be cut off right before the best part. Mildly irritated he lifted a cigarette to his lips and took a long breath to calm his nerves. He'd been too violent lately, they had been forced to replace five subordinates during the last two weeks.

"Come in."

The door opened silently to reveal a tall, blond woman dressed in sheer white attire, and Tyki couldn't help himself as she stepped in, leaning forward on his armchair impatiently. She, however, didn't seem to feel anything at all.

"Well?" Tyki prompted when the woman said nothing, just standing there almost like a statue. She blinked, her eyes remaining perfectly blank under her bangs, and briefly he thought she had looked better with black hair. But everything had to change in some point.

"We have located him."

Tyki's eyes flashed with greed and desire, his hand tightening its hold on the wineglass. He could feel his heart thumping in his chest and taste the sweetness of his prey's blood on his tongue, so very close. Right there, in his reach. All he needed to do was to stretch his hand out and _take it_…

"Start making preparations."

XxX

Awkward, Allen concluded as he slipped the loose sweater over his head, was the perfect word to describe how he felt at the moment. His hands were twitching to cover his half-nude body, a lively flush threatening to take over his face, and it was all he could do to not rush with the clothes. It wasn't like he was shy or modest, he didn't get easily embarrassed nor was he a person who felt uncomfortable with his body. Heck, he'd spent the last four years wearing almost nothing and _no one _stayed coy like that. Yet, there was something there, when Kanda watched him get dressed, that he couldn't explain something that made him want to fidget under the man's gaze. It hadn't been like that before.

Maybe it was because of yesterday.

'_Talking about it…'_

Allen didn't know what to think of yesterday. He still had no clue as to why he'd agreed to tell about his past to Kanda, nor could he figure out why the man had even asked. Still, both had happened and he'd spent the better part of the day spilling out things he'd never thought he would share with anyone. At first he'd thought there wouldn't be much to tell, just listing of how every scar had been done, what had been used to do which and sometimes why. Simple, plain facts. He had thought he could talk about them without getting emotional.

And then he'd found himself portraying how it had felt.

Allen couldn't point exactly when, but in some part of his description Kanda had shifted so that he was able to rest his head on the man's chest, his arms wrapped loosely around him in a slightly unfamiliar embrace. It hadn't been natural in the beginning, more like forced and uncomfortable as if Kanda had somehow felt _obliged _to show comfort to him, and Allen hadn't dared to ask anything, simply assenting into the man's arms. It had gotten better, though, as they both had slowly relaxed.

In the end, they had spent nearly the entire day like that. Listening his voice as he spilled his guts.

And now he felt embarrassed by dressing up in front of Kanda.

Allen wanted to grab his shoulders and shake some sense into himself. What a pity the laws of physic rendered that impossible.

"Che. How long does it take for you to put some clothes on?" Kanda's voice cut through his musing and with a barely notable jump he cast a mild glare at the man leaning against the doorframe.

"Can't you wait for even two minutes?" Allen asked, the tone of his voice quirked up ever so slightly in annoyance. The man just snorted again, black eyes sliding from him to the large windows.

"You've taken more than two minutes, Moyashi."

Allen's frown deepened as he returned to his trousers. "I'm not a moyashi", he snapped half-heartedly, though still meaning his words. The travesty of a nickname irritated him more than it should've.

"Would you be happier with an 'old man', then?" Kanda scoffed, and when he just glared at the man via the mirror, continued: "How do you know what it means anyway? I thought you said you were in Japan only once."

Allen let his eyes wander away from the older man's reflection, returning his attention back to his clothes. "I learnt to speak the language when I was child. And I said I know I've been to Japan _at least _once. It's impossible to tell with all the drugs in my system back then", he said.

"Che. You'd think you had fucking spasms every second minute for not getting anything", Kanda sneered, although with little malice. "Or am I supposed to believe your appetite is some sort of a retarded withdrawal symptom?"

"It was nearly a year ago", Allen stated blandly. "And I actually _had _spasms. For nearly three months if my sense of time can be trusted." And really, it couldn't. The only way he'd been able to keep a track of time was by checking the dates in newspapers and magazines every time he had a change – which, in all honestly, hadn't been very often, what with his mostly rather groggy and disoriented state and the rareness of any kind of papers in his near vicinity.

"How the hell did your merchandisers even tolerate someone with a fucking drug addiction that long?" Kanda asked, sounding almost disbelieving. "Without putting you to streets that is."

Allen tensed, pausing in his movements before forced himself to relax again and give an answer. "I was private property at the time. It… My… my owner probably found it more profitable to keep me until I was more or less clean and then sell me with full price, than try to get rid of a drug addict. Besides, my appetite wasn't that good back then", he finished his statement with a small shrug, trying to get the older man understand that he didn't really want to talk about his life anymore. Hadn't yesterday been enough?

"Figures", Kanda scoffed and Allen heard a sound of a ruffling cloth, assuming that the man had changed his position. "Everything is always about money. No one ever thinks about anything else."

Allen turned around, raising an eyebrow at the dark haired millionaire. "Well, you know, to _some _people, money's kind of nice thing to have. It's what you buy food with", he said, letting sarcasm flow into his voice. Talking about pot calling the kettle black.

Kanda glared at him, eyes narrowing. "I know what money is for", he snapped, annoyance transparent from the tone of the words. Allen just smiled as sweetly as he could.

"I just thought you might have forgotten, since you have it so much you hardly need to think about what you do with it."

The man's eyebrow twitched and Allen expected a scathing remark to be spat at his face, instead Kanda's expression calmed into impassiveness. "Are you done yet?" he asked, voice only mildly irked as he straightened up from the slightly slouching position against the doorframe. For a second Allen had the urge to say that no, he wasn't done with his makeup yet and had Kanda seen the lip gloss, because it just felt so _fitting_. Then he came back to his senses and quenched that urge.

"Yeah."

Kanda simply turned around, stepping out of the room and continued down the hallway without so much as a glance over his shoulder. Though, it wasn't like Allen minded the lack of attention. He'd gotten more than enough for the past few days and as much as he appreciated the Japanese's company, all of the pointless questioning was kind of… tiring.

Shrugging the sleep out of his body as well as he could, Allen followed after the older man and caught up to him just as they reached the doorless entrance of the training room. He repressed another yawn and slowed down, absently flexing his uncovered fingers. Surprisingly, Kanda didn't stop, but continued towards the apartment's front door.

"Are we going out?" Allen asked, frowning slightly in confusion. Until now, the only time he'd been outside of the apartment during Kanda's ownership, had been the shopping trip to the mall just a little after his arrival and he'd gotten the picture that Kanda wasn't too fond of taking him out if not necessary. Thus Allen couldn't help but be surprised of the turn of events, since he absolutely couldn't think of any reason that would at the moment require him leaving the building.

"Che. What does it look like to you?" Kanda replied, starting to pull a jacket on. Allen wanted to ask why, but settled for biting his lip and following the man's example by taking the only spare coat in the rack. It was too big for him, but if he rolled the sleeves up once, it passed well enough.

Silence fell between them, not awkward but not really comfortable either, and Allen tried not to glance at Kanda as the man tied the laces of his army boots. He seemed to be almost in a hurry – or then just angry at something – , what with how his movements were nearly violent, and fleetingly Allen wondered if he was the reason. Though he pushed the thought aside rather quickly; if Kanda's mood was somehow his fault, he would've gotten a lot more crap thrown at him. As it was, the man was acting downright social on his own standards, and the only way to get him any less brusque was to have sex with him, which Allen doubted was going to happen at the moment.

He was just pulling his other shoe on, when Kanda straightened up and without any explanation whatsoever, marched past him and into the kitchen area. Blinking, Allen stared after him, hand propped against the wall for support as he balanced on one foot. He didn't need to wait for long, though, seeing the man came right back, carrying a long, black tube with a sling going from one end to another so that it could be carried on your shoulder. Briefly Allen wondered what it was, but then Kanda's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"You coming, Moyashi, or do I need to carry you."

Stumbling, he swung around, annoyed at himself for spacing out and the man for calling him by that stupid nickname. Not that Kanda ever called him anything else. Well, aside for idiot and brat that was.

"I'm not a moyashi", Allen snapped back, although not with much force. The man just shrugged, typing the number code on the keypad next to the door. Stifling yet another yawn Allen waited as Kanda pushed the door open, following as the man strode across the office room. To his surprise, Kanda stopped at the next door and turned to look at him.

"You do something stupid and I beat you out of your skin, get it?"

XxX

The ringing of a phone snapped Lavi's head out of the cereal-bowl where it had dropped in one point or another – not that he remembered – and with a grogginess of a person whose sleep dept was larger than what was healthy, he fumbled around for the device, eventually finding it by hitting his hand on it and effectively sending it flying to the carpet. Muffling a pained scream he lunged after the phone.

A short, horror-filled moment later the red bird's nest emerged from under the table, followed closely by Lavi who was concentrated on cradling the perfectly unharmed object in his hands and blabbering nonsense.

Few second later he pressed the green button and raised the phone to his ear cheerily.

"Yo, what's up?"

"_Lavi…"_, the voice from the other end of the line said with a tone that spoke volumes.

"Sorry, Lena. I had a little crisis here", the redhead answered sheepishly, tousling his hair into an even worse mess than it already was.

"_Well that makes two of us", _the woman stated, her voice gaining unexpected graveness. _"We have a problem."_

Lavi blinked. "Yeah… I know", he said slowly, surprised that Lenalee hadn't been informed sooner. He'd thought she would've heard the news about Leverrier's doings yesterday afternoon, at the latest. These kind of information gaps could seriously cause harm to the assignment.

There was a moment of silence, before Lenalee spoke again, less hurried this time. _"You… know?", _she asked as if she didn't believe him.

"Yeah, I already informed Kanda too."

"_Then… then…", _she stumbled, her voice gaining an angry tone as she went on. _"Then why are you still there and not here, helping us?"_

"Helping with what?" Lavi asked, rising from his place on the floor. "It's no use trying to get our budget back. Leverrier screwed us up big time."

"_Leverrier? Budget? What are you talking about?" _Lenalee demanded, raising her voice. _"Kanda might be in danger and you're just rambling about some stupid money! I though you were his friend!"_

Lavi froze, the words ringing in his ears even as the Chinese woman continued to yell at him. "What?" he asked, ignoring her angry words as his mind started to compose a picture. "Kanda… what? What happened? Lenalee? Lenalee! Stop screaming at me and tell me what you're meaning!"

A second of silence and then she took a deep breath. Something cold tightened in Lavi's stomach.

"_Suman and Toma… We found them dead. Killed."_

So much for that lunch break.

XxX

The wind blowing from the sea was rough, and Allen had to shield his face with his hand to stop the dozens grains of sand that flew in the air from getting into his eyes. His white hair fluttered around his head almost angrily, blocking his vision every so often, and despite his best efforts he couldn't keep the longest strands from slipping into his mouth. With his other hand Allen tried to keep the wind from wrenching his jacket open, stumbling on the soft sand as he did his best to keep up with Kanda.

They were on a small beach somewhere west from the man's apartment, but that was pretty much all he could tell with his nonexistent sense of direction. There were only few other people in sight, most of them either walking a dog or running, and Allen had began to wonder what the hell were they doing there. Kanda had barely even thrown a ten or so curse words at other drivers when they'd gotten stuck in a jam, let alone explained the reason for the trip. As far as he could tell, they were just having a little less pleasant stroll.

With a tired sigh Allen stared at the sleek, black strands flaring in the wind and marveled how Kanda could cope with such a long hair, whereas he was already seriously starting to consider a hair cut. How much work that much hair needed, anyway?

Lost in his thoughts Allen nearly bumped into the man of his ponderings, not having noticed Kanda had ceased to walk. Blinking in surprise he stopped.

"So… what now?"

Kanda glanced at him, scowling. "What 'what now'?" he asked rather sharply.

Allen arched up an eyebrow, sticking his hands into the pockets of his black, too large jacket. "Well you wake me up, take me out for no apparent reason and then proceed to drag me to a cold, windy beach with nothing worth noticing in sight. I'd just like to know if there's a reason for all this or are we just going to stand here and admire the scene", he said through the white strands on his face.

Kanda gave him a look he quite couldn't read and then just shrugged. "Che. Do I need a reason to do something?" he asked blandly, staring off to the sea.

Allen spat some hair out of his mouth, following the other's line of sight. "Well, no, but you don't exactly strike as a person who does meaningless things just for the hell of it", he stated.

There was a moment of wind and silence of a city that never slept roaring behind them, before Kanda finally replied.

"I…" he started, hesitating, and it was the first time that Allen could remember hearing the man falter, however little that waver then was. And when Kanda continued, his shoulders were tense, lips pressed into a tight line and eyes reflecting too many emotions. "I didn't buy you for sex."

'…_what?'_

Allen's lips parted and for a good time he just stared, standing there as the wind ruffled his hair more than just a little roughly, wrenching at his clothes and throwing sand on his face. A loud siren emerged from the noise of the metropolis for a fleeting moment, just to disappear into the commotion a second after.

"I… You… What…?"

Kanda closed his eyes. "I said that I didn't buy you for sex", he stated flatly, face turned towards the gray sea, against the wind that ripped both of them. Allen opened his mouth, closed it and opened again, lost.

"You didn't…?" he repeated weakly, feeling dizzy. But it did make sense, didn't it? Kanda had never been too eager to touch him and there were piles of other possible reasons for the man to buy him, right? Hadn't Cross too bought him just to get someone to pay his debts?

'_But then what for? He hasn't made you do anything else, has he?'_

Swallowing, Allen licked his lips. "Then… then why… did you… buy me? If not for the sex, I mean."

Kanda opened his eyes, but didn't look him. "I had to", he said blankly. "But that's not your problem. It doesn't matter to you, anyway, and that's not the reason we came here."

"Doesn't matter to me?" Allen asked, a little indignant. "How does that not matter to me? You're my bloody owner! It matters _everything _to me."

Kanda turned towards him, eyes sharp as he glared. "No, it _doesn't_. It only matters that I _did _buy you. Why it was me and not someone else is none of your business", he snapped, expression morphing into a grimace almost immediately after the words had left his mouth.

"Not someone else?" Allen asked, not understanding a thing. "What the hell are you talking about?"

The man inhaled, closing his yes again, though this time it was just for a brief moment. "Listen, get it? I needed to talk to you and I can't do that in the apartment or in the car or anywhere else where there are surveillance cameras. I shouldn't be even doing this, but yesterday just…" Kanda cut himself off, bringing hand up to press the brick of his nose. "Fuck this is such a mess", he hissed quietly, falling silent.

"Yesterday just… what?" Allen asked gingerly when the other didn't continue, unwilling to anger the Japanese. Kanda just gritted his teeth and then, abruptly, started to march back towards the car, grabbing him by the arm.

"Nothing. Forget it. We're not supposed to be here."

"What do you mean? Not supposed to?" Allen demanded confusion and worry swirling inside of him. "Kanda! You can't just say something like that and then drop it! What's this all about? Answer me!" he yelled over the wind, trying to pull his arm back and make the man stop.

"I said it's nothing. Now stop asking questions", Kanda snapped, yanking him towards the car forcefully, and Allen had no choice but to follow. Grudgingly he let the topic drop, acceding to follow the man's steps in silence. Kanda didn't look behind, nor did he wait for him, practically rushing along the windy beach, and Allen had to hurry to keep up with his speed.

They were only twenty meters away from the car when Kanda suddenly stopped, cursing as he started to go through his pockets. Allen ceased his steps, surprised when the man picked up a phone and flipped it open. From the wind he hadn't heard it ringing at all, even though he was only few meters behind the other.

Obviously annoyed, Kanda pressed the device to his ear, barking out a curt 'what' to whoever was on the other end. There was a moment of silence as the other person said something.

"What the hell does it matter where I am?" Kanda snapped, glaring at everything in sight.

Another pause, shorter this time.

"Che. Fine. We're on the shore. Now tell -." The person Kanda was talking to cut him off and Allen grimaced as the man's expression darkened even further.

"How the fucking else would've we gotten here? On foot?" he retorted to whatever had been said. "Get to the goddamn point or I'll hang up, baka Usagi."

A long silence followed Kanda's words, and with growing worry Allen watched as the dark haired man slowly stiffened, annoyance draining from his face to give room for an expression that sent chills down his spine. Swallowing Allen bit his lip, wanting nothing more than to ask what was going on.

"Fuck", Kanda finally hissed, staring towards the town as if searching for something. "Keep me updated. We're going to my place." And with a one last glance around the beach he hung up, grabbed Allen's arm again and started to drag him to the car.

XxX

"Kanda's going to his place", Lavi announced to the room, lowering his phone on the table. "He has the victim with him. They should be there in half an hour."

On the screen in front of him a blond woman raised her gun and aimed.

XxX

XxX

Betaed version updated! And I found the story thank you!

Please remember to comment. I'll love you for it. ^^


	16. Chapter 16

Ah, well, sorry this took so long again, but I had a minor block (guess I still have). This... is totally nothing like I originally wanted it to be. And I think they're both being a little... somewhat... more or less OOC. But the good news is, you finally get your missing answers! Well, maybe not all of them but the basics. The other good news - bad news? - is that this seems to be drawing near end, and although I'm happy (this just has so many plot holes, illogicalities and overall crappiness that I'm getting a little tired), I'm not sure if you are. It also has something to do with having more time for my other projects, but... well, let's not bore you to death, now.

But, really, really, really big thank you for everyone who's commented, you seriously get me believe this is worth it all, and another big thank you to my beta, **XD-chan**, for deleting my mistakes, and... I guess that's it.

**Disclaimer:** No, I don't own DGM, this is all just for fun and no money is gained (only lost).

**Warnings:** Cursing, OOC behavior (both Kanda and Allen) and... um... guns?

**XxX**

**Chapter 16**

**The Truth**

**XxX**

**XxX**

"So, um, Kanda", Allen started slightly tentatively as he closed the simple, white door behind him, shutting off the typical suburb scene that stretched around the small house Kanda had taken him to. "Would you mind telling me where we are and what we're doing here?"

The man didn't turn to look at him, not bothering to take off his shoes as he marched further into the house, past the staircase leading to the second floor and into the dining area that opened right at the end of the narrow hall. Allen waited for the answer – or order, anything really - , his gaze travelling over the small rack, simple wooden table, mirror and worn out carpet that had once probably been a bright Prussian blue, and felt his suspicions and worry grew more with every object his eyes landed on.

It definitely wasn't a house that belonged to a millionaire.

When the Japanese vanished into the dining room, it came obvious Allen wouldn't get his answer by waiting. Pressing his lips together, he followed after Kanda to the open doorway at the end of the hall and stepped in cautiously, not really sure what he was afraid of. One glance revealed that the dining area wasn't actually a separated room, only divided from the kitchen itself with a small bar that had a variety of knives, bowls and a toaster in neat line on it. But just like in the entryway, the furniture was assorted, not at all fitting into the picture of a rich person.

Allen wasn't sure what to make of it.

Kanda, however, didn't bother to stop to give any explanations as he strode to the only other door in the room, right next to a heavy bureau and wooden statue that portrayed some sort of a wolf standing on its hind legs. Without hesitation the man slipped his fingers into the open mouth of the statue and pulled out a simple key that had apparently been hidden in there. Unsure of what he should do, Allen watched Kanda slid the key in the door's lock and twist it.

The man didn't even glance at him as he opened the door and stepped in. Deciding that he couldn't just stand there either, Allen walked past the bureau, about to follow Kanda in, but stopped when he realized that the room was dark. Casting an almost nervous look at the statue he faltered for a second, too confused about everything, before swallowed his insecurities down his throat and reached inside the doorway, damning it all to hell.

There was a quiet click and the room lit up in soft, warm light that revealed plain, ascetic furniture, only containing a single shelf, two low chests and a punching bag in the corner. Kanda was standing a few meters away from him, in front of a row of closets that had been opened, going through the shelves.

And on them, there were guns. A lot of guns.

Allen's blood ran cold.

Heart beating somewhere in his throat he grabbed the doorframe for support and opened his mouth to say something. Only nothing came out and for an entire minute there was only silence, heavy and stifling and he couldn't help the fear running up his spine. When he finally got his voice to work, it sounded strangled even in his own ears.

"What are you doing?"

The man looked up from his work, black eyes bearing a look that seemed both tense and empty. There was another moment of silence, before he turned his gaze away again.

"Go upstairs. Stay away from the windows and don't come down."

Something tightened around Allen's throat, choking him, strangling him, and this time he really had to lean against the doorframe, eyes clued onto the man that just kept calmly checking the variety of firearms placed neatly on the shelves. He didn't understand, probably wouldn't have even without the fear and confusion messing with his head and making it hard to think straight, but he knew things were wrong.

And for some reason, he had a feeling that this time it wouldn't be just him paying the price.

"Kanda please, tell me what's going on."

The words came out far more pleading than he had intended them to be, and that was probably why the Japanese's hands stopped their movements. For a second Allen thought he saw a tinge of pain flashing in the man's eyes, but when he spoke, there was no trace of the emotion in his tone.

"You won't tell me their names ", Kanda stated, voice steady, blank as if he was telling it was raining outside. His eyes turned back to Allen, and the unnerving stare made the Brit want to back off, yet he dared not to move.

"Their names?" he repeated even as the inkling of where the conversation was going crept into his mind.

Kanda seemed not to pay any attention to his words, just continued like he hadn't said anything, gaze going back to the shelves as his voice tightened, and Allen almost though the man was talking to himself. "At least not within the time I have."

"Kanda what-?"

"You're too scared to reveal them and building up enough trust will take too long. And now there's this shit."

Allen swallowed his whole body tensing as he started to realize there was something even more wrong with things than he had thought. Pulse accelerating he stared at the scowling Asian and tried not to think about the cold stirring in the far corners of his mind.

"What… what are you talking about?" he asked, voice quivering even though he did all he could to not let it falter, to keep his nerves. The words Kanda had said on the beach started to run through his head, trying to connect with half meant sentences, glances caught from the corner of an eye, expressions that were out of place, gestures that implied of things that couldn't be. "What's going on, Kanda?"

"I didn't want to do this. They fucking forced me to, fucking _knowing _it goes against every single fucking principle I have and _fuck_", the man went on, voice almost trembling as he gripped the shelf knuckles white. "I hate this. I hate them. I fucking can't go with this anymore, it's too far already and I'm not fucking going to make it worse than it is."

"Forced to do _what_?" Allen demanded his voice higher than normal, bordering panic. Confusion and fear mixed together and he was so lost, so helpless, unable to control anything at all and suddenly it was just too much. "Who's them? Tell me what's going on! I don't get a thing you're saying! Everything is just so _wrong _and I don't understand it! Not you, not myself, not anything and I hate it! I hate not knowing anything when nothing is like it's supposed to be and I can't do _a thing_! What is going on here? Kanda, _tell me_!"

"I can't!" the man roared back, furious all of a sudden. "I can't tell you, I'm not supposed to, I don't have the fucking _permission _to do it!" he hollered, casting the gun in his hand back on the shelf without a notice. "Do you think I enjoy this? Do you think this is what I want? Well it fucking isn't!"

And Allen just didn't care anymore.

"What the hell do you need a permission for?" he yelled, anger and desperation flaring in his veins with intensity he'd never felt. "What more is there to it than to just say it? I can do nothing to you, so what the bloody hell do you have to lose?"

"More than you fucking think, so don't you dare try to think you know who I am!" Kanda shouted, ramming his hand against the closet's door with a sudden burst of violence. But Allen paid no attention to it and stepped forward defiantly, burning with anger that threatened to consume him into the inferno blazing rampant inside of him. The tears in his eyes were left unnoticed by both of them.

"How am I supposed to think _anything_ of you at all? When I can't even begin to understand you? I don't know who you are, I don't know what you think, I don't even know if I'm just a meaningless toy for you to cast away whenever you feel like it!" he yelled, nails digging into his palms as he tried to stop his body from shaking. "How do you think _I _feel? I have nothing but you, _nothing_! I'm at your mercy and you can do with me as you please without anyone trying to stop you! You can tear my eyes out of their sockets, beat me to death, and break my bones, anything!" The tears flooded over, spilling onto his cheeks even though he didn't know why he was crying. He only knew he couldn't stop. "So don't tell me to stop acting, don't tell me to confide in you, don't tell me to feel, because what do you think I have if I fall for you? How could I keep myself from falling apart then when you break me?"

From his tears Allen didn't see Kanda's eyes widening, but he did see him take a step closer and even through the blood pounding in his ears he distinguished the shock in the man's voice.

"Moyashi…"

"No. Don't", he said and somehow his voice didn't tremble. "I'm sick of it. Stop acting nice, stop acting as if you cared. I'm not a fool. I know you don't, so just _stop it_."

Silence. Strangled and shaking silence. Broken, shocked, painful silence that enveloped them like all the waters of the oceans had settled upon them, suffocating and crushing. Every breath was loud, labored, burning in the throat like fire, and every heartbeat stung painfully like needles stabbed through the chest. It felt impossible to remain standing, to stay straight and not collapse, to let air flow in and out with shaky gasps, to even live, but Allen managed through it even while tears burned behind his eyes and sobs tried to break through his sealed lips. But he stood and waited.

"It's not… like that", came the reply, so quiet that he could hardly even believe the voice was Kanda's. "Not like you think it is."

"Don't. I don't want that. Just tell me", Allen said blandly, not even really knowing what he wanted the other to tell. He just knew he didn't want to play this game of theirs anymore. He wanted to be sure; he wanted to stop guessing even if it meant that every single one of his carefully denied hopes was crushed.

'_I want them to be true.'_

He didn't know what he felt, hadn't known for a while now, but before he had just ignored it and pushed the matter aside, 'cause he'd wanted to lull himself into those sweet illusions of warmth and safety if only for a little longer. And could he really be judged for that? After all those years of pain and anguish and despair, was it so unexpected that he wanted to hold on to even the slightest fragment of hope? Regardless that it could never be true, regardless that he was just going to get hurt if he let himself dream, wasn't it the only thing he'd been bound to do?

'_I want it to be more than just a lie. Please, let it be more than a lie.'_

He had let himself feel for the man. He had let himself believe that Kanda wasn't like the others. And maybe that was exactly what the man had wanted – to make him trust him, to make him think he wasn't going to be hurt so breaking him would be all the more glorious. Maybe shattering his mental state was what Kanda had wanted from the beginning. But did it change anything? Did it make him hate the man, despise him? Did it stop him from aching?

Allen closed his eyes and tilted his head back.

"Just tell me what's going to happen now."

'_I want to know.'_

XxX

For a good time, Kanda didn't know what to say. He just stood there, frozen on the spot, unable to rip his gaze away from the tear stained face of the Moyashi even though he knew he had no time to be staring at the other when they were practically in the middle of a crisis.

Someone – and he had a little more than just a vague guess of who that someone was – had found out about Allen and was serious with getting to him. It didn't matter whether or not that someone knew about the project, by what Lavi had told him, the enemy was armed and ready to kill, regardless of what they were after and why. Their number was unknown, the detail of their weaponry was unknown, the technology they used was unknown and their knowledge of the situation in whole was unknown. In other words, no one knew anything solid about them, least of all what their motive was.

Hell, with those odds Kanda didn't give a flying fuck about their motives – they were coming to kill, project or no project. With minimal back-up and the Moyashi to keep alive he was in complete disadvantage. This wasn't the time for explanations.

Yet, he'd been the one to start the stupid, idiotic, time-consuming, fucking _pointless _shouting match in the first place. He just hadn't been able to keep the words inside of him anymore, no matter how poor of an excuse that was, and now he was supposed to fix it somehow. But what could he say? That he was sorry, that everything would be okay, that he was going to _make it better_? His guilt, - his goddamn guilt that had made his tongue ran loose – his _shame_, they meant nothing. Saying sorry wouldn't change a thing, and even though the temptation of trying to redeem himself by giving Allen some semblance of comfort was more alluring than anything else ever, he couldn't go promising things he knew he had no way of keeping.

Jaw tightening Kanda let his fingers coil themselves around the long cylinder he'd swung over his shoulder. Sweet nothings wouldn't do a thing to make the Moyashi do like he said without questioning him first, and there wasn't time for them anyway. He needed Allen to jump at command, not flinch.

Ironically, only few weeks ago the boy would've done just that.

"Fine", Allen said suddenly, sounding even more tired than just a few minutes ago, and cursing himself Kanda realized he'd been silent for too long. "I understand. Not my place to ask. Sorry", he said blankly, "Sorry for forgetting my place. I've been deranged with all these mind games. Up stairs was it?"

What he could do, Kanda understood with bland comprehension, was tell the truth.

"So, well, um. I won't touch anything."

"I'm working for the police", he heard himself say just as Allen turned around to leave the room, voice bland and impassive, and it felt like he was listening someone else speak. "To uncover a human trafficking ring that brings prostitutes to the States. It's an experimental project, and the results will determine if it is taken into wider usage."

Allen froze on the spot, his back and shoulders going rigid, and Kanda inhaled, feeling oddly numb. He'd been boiling with emotions just mere minutes ago, frustrated and angry beyond control, yet now the only thing he could feel was vacancy. It wasn't calmness or restraint – it was a perfect void of emotion, like an untouchable sphere enfolding him, separating him from everything else, and he didn't like the feel of it. Still, he didn't – or maybe he simply couldn't – stop the words that left his tongue.

"They needed someone who couldn't be found from their records and traced to the project, and my name came up. I'm not a cop, I didn't want the task, but I do things for them and other people, and they used it to blackmail me into this shit. I didn't…"

Kanda had to close his eyes and strengthen his resolve, wavering under the instinctive urge to shut up and shut off. He didn't need to explain himself to the Brit, goddamn it!

"I didn't have much choice", he said, voice turning from flat to dry as he went on. "Or rather, I had a rational, beneficial, _fucking immoral _choice, and then I had an irrational, adverse and just as repulsive choice. I took the first one. I took it and agreed to play your owner, live with you, lie to you, _screw _you, anything what it would take to keep the act, all just to make you trust me so you would tell me the information that'd get the trafficking ring uncovered and its heads caught."

Allen jerked as if about to turn around, only to think better of it at the last moment. Albeit it did nothing to hide the shock that was written all over his body with letters so bold that Kanda would've had to been blind not to see them, and even though he refused to admit it to himself, somewhere in the far corners of his mind he wished he _was_, so that he wouldn't have to witness this.

With a wry snort he closed his eyes and let his lips curve into a mocking jeer. "And the joke of the whole fucking thing was that you would never tell," he continued almost serenely, fingers threading into the strap of the cylinder. "So fine, you'll get what you want, because I'm tired of this goddamn make believe game too. The higher ups can go and fuck themselves, I don't give a _damn_. And in case it makes you feel any better, I might just go and kill myself once this is over."

Kanda was half expecting Allen sneer at him or taunt him or ask if he really thought _that _would be any sort of comfort – anything from sheer disdain to offence, from silent contempt to uncontrolled shouting fit. Yet nothing of the sort came, and there was a long moment of silence, almost long enough to make him feel uncomfortable, before the boy finally took a breath, his posture releasing some of its tension.

"Why?"

The question was quiet, and even though Allen's voice shook ever so slightly, he appeared to be perfectly, utterly _calm _as if Kanda hadn't just told him that everything ever since he came to the country had been just a play, a set up. A frown slipping to his face he opened his eyes to stare at the Moyashi, not sure how to respond to the question that didn't really make sense.

"I already told you why. To reveal the trafficking ring", he replied in the end, voice flat with confusion.

"I didn't mean –", Allen started, just to trail off right after with a look which suggested that even he didn't know what he had exactly meant, on his face. If the situation had been different, Kanda would've probably thought it fairly amusing to watch the Moyashi's brows furrow slowly, his mouth still slightly ajar as if he'd forgotten to close it, trying to work out whatever it was he was thinking. Right now, though, his own mind was in too much of a chaos for him to barely more than note the boy's expression of uncertainty.

"I…" Allen tried again, eyes fixing on him briefly before skipping away towards the corners of the room. He looked almost helpless. "I… I don't…_understand_."

Kanda scowled, a flash of irritation coursing through him. How many times was the Moyashi going to repeat those three goddamn words? "It's simple English. Can't be that hard –"

A loud screeching sound, like a car trying to brake too quickly from too high speed, cut him off and with widened eyes Kanda's head snapped towards the direction of the street. From the corner of his eye he saw Allen freezing on the spot, startled gaze following his to the bare wall, and for a second neither of them moved. Dozens of thoughts flew through Kanda's head, thoughts like the enemy was here, their time was up, how the hell could they be there so fast, who the _fuck _was Tyki Mikk to be able to organize something like this, the back up wasn't there yet and he needed to _move_, now, now, now, _now_, get the high ground, defend himself, defend Allen, _now_, before the enemy came and they died, _now!_

Spinning around Kanda grabbed the first handgun his eyes landed on and threw it at the Moyashi, who nearly dropped it, having still been staring at the wall with a stunned expression on his face. Although, it wasn't like he could blame Allen – after everything he ought to be more than just a little dumbfounded. Not that it meant he had time to be gawking at things and doing nothing. They were about to be killed, damn it!

"W-what…?" the boy stammered, eyes wide as he gaped at the gun in his hands, and if Kanda hadn't been so busy collecting whatever weaponry he could get his hands on during the five seconds he had, he would've rolled his eyes and scoffed at the Brit.

"In case you fancy your life, I suggest that instead of shooting me you save the bullets for the guys that are about to burst in through my front door any second now", he snapped, snatching the rifle on a last minute decision, and grabbed the Moyashi's arm as he rushed out of the room. They needed to get upstairs. "It's loaded; all you have to do is pull the trigger."

"You threw a loaded gun at me?" the boy practically shrieked, casting him a shocked look. "It could've gone off, you idiot!"

"Shut up!" Kanda hissed, raising up his gun as they rounded the corner to the entryway. Several pairs of rushed steps settled on the veranda, and with a little more force than what was necessary he shoved Allen to the staircase, gaze fixed on the door. "Get up and take cover! Quickly!"

The Moyashi didn't protest, darting up the stairs as fast as he could and managed to get up with surprisingly little stumbling. Kanda followed right behind, all the while facing the front door, ready to start shooting at the slightest sign. He trusted Allen more than he was willing to turn his back on the imminent thread standing right on his doorstep, and right now it didn't really matter that most of that trust was based on the doubt that the boy wasn't capable of killing anyone. Not even a person that had violated him like Kanda had.

Or so he hoped.

Maybe if they got out of this alive, he could find a way to repay everything he'd done. Allen would probably hate him for the rest of his life, no matter how he explained himself, but maybe he'd be able to fix some of the damage all of this shit had caused, and even though the fact that the boy would be free again if he survived through this wouldn't be enough, it was something to start with. Kanda just needed to keep him alive until the back up came. Rest could be sorted out later.

He was standing on the last step when the door was rammed open.

XxX

XxX

I hope that gives some of the answers you've been wanting to hear. So, comment anyone? Pretty please? ^^


	17. Chapter 17

I'm surprised how quickly I finished this one, it just was easy chapter to write. Don't know if that means its crappy or something, but, well, I didn't make you wait too long, did I? ^^ Though, I've resently started to notice I like way too much to make cliffhangers. XD Yes, I'm an evil person, it seems. But I love you all like crazy. You really make this worth it, even though half of the time I can't help but nearly hate the story. You guys are awesome, seriously. ^^

Another news. Last time, I totally forgot to mention that **Mayuko-chan **has taken it her (his?) responsibility to _translate_ Property to French. Can you believe how happy I am? ^^ (Some of you awesome guys even noted me about it (in case I haven't given my permission)! That was really nice! ^^) You can find it here: http:/www . fanfiction . net/s/5938258/1/Property (Not sure if it works as a link, but if it doesn't, just remove the spaces around the dots. Or if it's somehow screwed up or something, just select "French" in the language box and "M" in the rating box and find it that way.)

I can't think anything else to say (aka can't remeber what I was supposed to say), so everybody just thank **XD-chan** again for being my beta.

**Warnings:** Shooting, cursing, (mild?) violence, initial shock (Allen's not _that_ wimp, he really isn't, it's just that what would _your_ reaction he if you were thrown in the middle of a gunfight without any warning?), dizzyness and general madness. Oh, and since it should be classified as a warning already: I like too much making cliffhangers. Seriously.

**Disclaimer:** I totally don't own DGM. Or has Kanda's hair stopped looking like a monster? No? See, don't own it.

XxX

XxX

**Chapter 17**

**Still Alive**

**XxX**

"What?" Lenalee exclaimed into the phone, slamming her fist against the paper-filled table in anger. A few sheets slipped over the edge and got immediately stomped by at least three pairs of hasty feet, but she paid no attention. "No! No, no, no! We have the authorization to use those forces! There cannot be such an order!"

"_The authorization has been denied, Miss Lee," _the officer in the other end of the line stated, his calm tone colliding blatantly with her frenzied fury. _"Supervisor Leverrier has frozen all resources for the Project Black Order with the permission of -."_

"I don't care whose permission he has!" Lenalee cut off the man's sentence fiercely. "He can't do this! Overrun the order! Ignore it! He can't burn us like this, we have all the licenses!"

"_I can't just _overrun _it"_, the officer answered, sounding indignant even about the suggestion as if she had insulted him somehow. _"Who do you think you're talking to? I'm not some big guy who can make things change with the flick of my fingers. Get the authorization from some of the higher ups, otherwise I can't help you."_

"The bureaucracy will take too long and I need the bloody back up _now _and not tomorrow!" Lenalee snapped, fingers clenching around the board's edge until her knuckles turned white. "Just ignore the bloody order or you'll be a murderer!"

"_I'm only doing my job", _the man answered icily, and inwardly she cursed him, herself and Leverrier with all the foul words she could remember and a few she didn't. Kanda needed that back up _right now_, and if something happened to him, _she _would be a murdered! A murderer of a murderer!

"There's one officer and a civilian in _immediate danger_, and you're telling me I can't get a back up for them because Malcom goddamn Leverrier wants to rise higher up on the ladders?" she hissed, voice nearly trembling as she tried to keep her mind clear. The clamor of shouted orders and half-yelled demands all around her threatened to drown the words. "Tell me, is your job to make sure he succeeds or is it to ensure the safety of a teenager who's been tortured just because some sick bastard _enjoys _watching it?"

"_Look, Miss, I don't like it when civilians get caught up in the middle of that kind of shit either, but if I do like you say, I'll loose my job", _the man said reservedly and Lenalee had to grit her teeth to keep from screaming until he wouldn't hear anything else. _"It's nothing personal."_

"They will die if they don't get the back up! Do you really want that on your conscience?"

"_I have a family, kids. Where they'll get food if I loose my job?"_

With a furious curse Lenalee kicked the table's leg and spun around to search for the mess of red hair, still gripping the receiver in her hand. The project's staff was literally running around the room in order to carry out their task as fast as possible, and it seemed like everybody was yelling something. The situation was downright disastrous.

"Lavi!" she shouted, hoping against hope that the redhead would hear her over the ruckus. She couldn't locate him in this mess. "Lavi! I can't get the back up! Lavi, where the hell are you?"

Leverrier was going to regret ever messing with them.

XxX

"_Out of the way_!"

Allen didn't need to be told twice. Heart beating somewhere in his throat he stumbled further into the hallway as the gunfire rang out from the entry, Kanda right on his heels. Behind them, bullets hit the staircase, tearing the handrail apart like it was paper, and instinctively he shielded his head from the shards of wood sent flying in the air, trying not to think what would've become of them if they'd been just a little slower.

Kanda, on the other hand, didn't seen to have any problems functioning, already turning around to counter the firing, and before Allen even had the time to comprehend the situation another round of shots was raging in his ears. Startled he stumbled over his own feet and fell to the floor, hands rising up to try and block the sound of a pained cry not close enough to belong to Kanda.

He felt like screaming himself.

Suddenly there was a hand grabbing him by the shoulder and showing him up against the wall with a violent jerk as something was pressed into his shaking palm. Eyes wide and breath rasped Allen was already scrabbling away by the time he realized it wasn't any of the attackers, but Kanda, trying to keep the assailants downstairs while yelling at him.

"-hear me? Goddamn hell, Moyashi! Do you hear me? This is _not _the _fucking _time to go into a _goddamn _shock! Get a grip of yourself!"

His breath hitched. It was a chaos, a total chaos. Everything was blasting into millions of little pieces, torn apart and destroyed, and he could barely hear himself think. He could barely think at all. What the hell was happening in here?

A bullet hit the full body mirror on the other side of the hallway, and Allen yanked his face away from the glinting fragments shattering onto the floor. "I hear you, I hear you!" he practically cried out, voice frantic even in his own, half-deafened ears. Without noticing it, his fingers clamped tighter around the gun he still had gripped in his right hand.

"Call the first number on the speed dial!" Kanda yelled over the gunfire, shooting aimlessly down to the entryway. Or that's what it at least looked like in Allen's eyes when he glanced up. "Tell them we need the back up _now_!"

A round of bullets forced Kanda to pull farther away from the corner, and Allen didn't bother asking useless questions as he raised up the thing he'd been given, not surprised to find out he was holding a simple cell phone. With shaking hands he did as he was told, flinching every time the firing got too close or rang out too suddenly. Next to him, Kanda kept shooting at the attackers, cursing all the while, and only the occasional cry of pain broke the cacophony of raging bullets and angry yells that filled the air like a typhoon threatening to wrench them from the sanctuary of their safe haven and crush them to their deaths.

_God, _he didn't want to die.

Allen pressed the phone to his ears and screwed his eyes shut to block away the unleashed hell around him. As the first steady ring echoed from the device he swallowed and concentrated on trying to slow down his breathing before it would become too quick to stop. If he started hyperventilating now, he wouldn't be able to get it under control, and he needed to be _calm_. Not panicked, not shocked, not _paralyzed with bloody fear_, but calm. Calm and composed and capable of functioning. Yes, functioning. Thinking clearly was probably a little too much to ask for, but _functioning_, that he had to be capable of. He could control his fear. He could.

"_Yes, hello, nice hearing you", _a new voice suddenly cut through the deafening madness, and Allen nearly dropped the phone. The speaker, however, went on without a pause. _"I take it you're at your place. Good, great, wonderful. Can you wait a moment, this is a bad time. There's some complications and thing are going crazy around here."_

Whoever the person on the other end was, he – Allen was pretty sure it was a man – wasn't alone, and by the clamor on the background, things didn't seem to be much better there than they were here. Not to mention the man he was talking to didn't sound like he was paying much attention to the call. Though, it didn't mean he could just hang up.

With a shaky breath he opened his mouth. "Kanda told me to say that we need the back up now. Like _right now_. Please?"

There was a moment of relative silence, during which Allen forced his fists to unclench enough to stop their trembling, and then the voice spoke up again, not quite so urgent this time and having a more demanding quality in its tone.

"_Who is this?"_

"I-I'm Allen." Something fragile-sounding broke downstairs. Allen swallowed. "Please, we need the back up."

"_Allen?" _the man repeated slowly. _"Allen…? Are you…?_Moyashi_?"_

Through the fear and disarray a sparkle of irritation managed to crawl into his mind at the incredulous tone of the other, although Allen quickly shoved it away. It didn't matter by what name the stranger identified him, as long as he did. Or so he thought at least. Hoped.

"Yes. Kanda told me to say that we need the back up, _right now_", he repeated the message, flinching as a round of bullets tore down the empty frame of the mirror. It crashed on the floor, crushing some of the scattered shards to even smaller pieces. "We're in the middle of a gunfight and I don't know how long Kanda can keep this up. Please, we need help?"

"_They're _there_? _Already_? How-? Where's Kanda? I need to talk to him!"_

Allen had to bid down a hysteric laugh. "I don't think that's a good idea. Seeing he has his hands full of trying to keep those men downstairs, and I hardly think it's any safer to talk on the phone while shooting than it's to do it while driving, or don't you think?" he asked, voice quivering. Regardless of the words, he was doing his best to not give into the absurdness, because if he let go – if he let go of the desperate grip he had on his sanity even for a second – he would surely spiral down into the depths of uncontrolled hysteria and lose whatever sanity was left in him. He was more sure of it than of the blasting gunfire ripping the house apart all around him.

"_He-? What-? I-I… But… No, _no_. Concentrate, Lavi, concentrate!"_

A wry – insane – chuckle escaped from his lips at the tone of the words, and Allen nearly choked trying to catch it. He couldn't afford to go into hysterics right now. He had to keep it together, goddamn it! He couldn't loose his grip now! Not now! Not when they were going to die, not now that he had to focus even though the bullets and the firing and the chaos and the knowledge of impending death he couldn't stop, and - oh God, he couldn't stop himself from_ slipping_.

"_Are you still there?"_

Allen closed his eyes again and drew in harsh breaths before opening them again. "Yes, I'm still here. Please, we really need that back up." He _could _control his fear. He could and he would and he _was not going to die_.

"_We're working on it, I promise, we're working on it", _the man, Lavi, said, voice calm like they were discussing about weather or… or _something_, and Allen hung onto that calmness like to a lifeline. _"Can you tell me your status? What's… what's the situation? Where are you? The enemy's strength?"_

"We… we're upstairs of… of his house. Kanda's I mean", he stammered as clearly as he could, ignoring everything that was taking place on the staircase. Or trying to at the very least. "He's shooting at them. I-I don't know how many men there are down there, but he's… he's shot at least… at least five. I think. Maybe. It's… This just… I can't tell. I really can't tell."

"_Okay, it's alright. You're doing a good job", _the man said, sounding so reassuring that he'd had to have been trained for this kind of things. Allen swallowed another bubble of insane laughter. _"Is either of you wounded? Hurt?"_

"No."

"_Right. Good. That's good. Do you think you can ask Kanda how long he can fare on his own?"_

It was like ice-water splashed on his face, the words that condemned them to their certain deaths, and for a moment all Allen could do was to stare at the opposite wall dully. He heard Lavi calling for him when he didn't answer, but it felt distant, meaningless, insignificant like someone talking about some disaster that had happened on the other side of the planet and would never really touch him. Didn't matter to him. His mind comprehended only one thing.

The help wasn't coming.

"_-llen, right? Do you hear me? Allen? Can you -?"_

"Yes", he cut the man off, still staring at the wall blindly. "Yes, I think I can."

"_Allen?" _The man had to be frowning. _"Are you okay? Allen?"_

"Yes. I am fine. Thank you", he said calmly. It was weird, his mind told him, he should be sobbing and gasping and maybe laughing hysterically, not answering this Lavi's questions with a stable, composed voice that carried no terror whatsoever. He should be screaming at him to do something, to save them, to save him because no, he didn't want to die and please. He was going to die and he should _be _and _do _and _feel _a lot of things. But the fear wouldn't come.

Maybe he was already dead.

"Fuck, fuck, _fuck_!"

Allen raised his head up just in time to dodge the apparently empty gun that Kanda tossed away with a little too much unnecessary force, not bothering to look where he was throwing it, too engaged in the shooting match that somehow didn't seem quite so loud and chaotic anymore. Glancing at the now useless weapon quickly, Allen returned his attention back to the Japanese man and then cringed when a part of the handrail finally decided it didn't have enough support to stay upright anymore, unceremoniously toppling down to the first floor.

And hit someone.

"Kanda!" He had to yell in order to be heard over the ruckus, and apparently Lavi hadn't been smart enough to remove the phone from his ear. Or so he assumed when he heard the muffled curse from the other end of the line. "Lavi wants to know how long you can hold them on your own!"

"Shit! Fuck! God forsaken-!" came the man's if not quite so sophisticated, then at the very least concise answer that carried the meaning across just well enough. "I don't have the fucking time to be having conversations! I want the back up here _yesterday_!"

"He says he wants them here yesterday", he repeated, turning to stare the wall again. It seemed that even if he couldn't feel fear, he could feel _sick_. Which probably meant he wasn't dead yet after all. "I'm pretty sure that isn't much."

"_Shit", _the man hissed, sounding pretty desperate. _"Let me think, let me think. If… Can you get out of there? You're upstairs, right? Can you get out of some window before they get to you? Bar the door to slow them down?"_

Allen risked a glance towards the staircase, finding Kanda pressed flat against the wall as close to the corner as the man dared to be. He was breathing hard, but looked otherwise well. Fleetingly Allen wondered what he would look like all bloody and battered, life fading from his eyes as his blood pooled onto the carpet, thick and dark, and suddenly he wasn't just calm – he was empty, lifeless like the image still lingering on his mind. Swallowing he shook his head and tried to banish the vision away. He didn't even know for sure if the men downstairs would kill them given the opportunity. Maybe it wasn't their objective.

Allen wasn't sure if it was a good thing.

"Kanda -!" he starter, intend on getting the answer as quickly as possible. He didn't need to be told that the faster they found resolution, the better. Only the moment he opened his mouth to speak, something that definitely wasn't Kanda, since Kanda was standing right in front of him, grabbed the back of his jacket and yanked him up. A startled exclamation he didn't even hear escaped from his mouth, and with wide eyes he watched Kanda starting to turn around.

Then there was flash of pain in the back of his skull, splitting his head asunder like an egg, and the grip keeping him upright disappeared. Vision blackening Allen stumbled to the floor, unable to remain standing as the world suddenly swayed upside down. His legs gave in beneath him and his knees collided with the carpet, rest of his body following before he had the time to rise his hands to stop the fall. Another impact to his head made his eyes water and ears rings, and it was all he could to not vomit right there and then.

Angry yells and sounds of guns going off filtered through the haze of exploding colors and steady buzzing as the world kept swirling around lazily. Everything felt slower and duller, like a heavy blanket had been pulled over him, and the sounds that got through it felt distorted. The blasting of fire continued unbroken, only disrupted by sharp cries of pain and the dull thuds of feet hitting the floor as their owners moved around rapidly, but it was as though he was listening an action movie from a muted television. And then there was a single shot shattering the silence that had descended so abruptly that he didn't even notice it until it broke. A heavy crash followed right after it, or more like a series of crashes – or thumps like someone rolling down the stairs – and the next thing he knew, he was being lifted off the ground.

"Whah…? Stop – gah – let gho – ofphame…" Allen tried to protest no little avail. Every word sent a wave of pain throbbing through his head, quickly chasing away all of his will to continue any of the useless tries, and if that wasn't enough, his mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton.

"Shut up", he heard Kanda whisper fiercely as he was half-dragged, half-carried down the hallway like a rag doll, the man's arm slipped under his armpits as Kanda supported him against his body as much as he was able to while hurrying forward. And even though Allen still couldn't focus his vision through the colorful eruptions and actually _see _where they were going or what had happened, he was incredibly relieved by the Japanese's voice.

It meant he was still alive.

"What…what…?" he tried talking again, just to find out it still didn't do him any good, and shut up even before Kanda had the change to snap at him. Instead he tried to concentrate on moving his legs in some sort of a travesty of stumbling. Seeing Kanda was dragging him with quite the speed, they hadn't probably outlived the danger yet.

A loud thud and a quiet curse from somewhere behind them confirmed the assumption.

The momentarily ceased gunfire rang out loud again a moment later, although Allen couldn't even tell if they were on its way anymore. The swaying had subsided a little, but that was mostly it. His head was still fuzzy like he had a cloud in there, and no matter how many times he blinked, the colors wouldn't disappear from his vision. At this rate he wasn't sure if he wanted to try standing up before next year. Assuming he was alive at that time.

Maybe if he stayed like this, he wouldn't even notice dying. What with the nasty feeling that told he was missing quite a lot of the things happening around him, it might even be possible.

With a groan Allen sunk to the floor as Kanda suddenly let go of him.

XxX

"Allen? Allen? Are you there? Allen!" Lavi nearly yelled into the receiver. The boy hadn't answered him since he'd asked if they could get out of the house, and the amount of gun shots and shrieks that carried through the line made his stomach twist sickeningly. Just what odds was Kanda up against? If something happened… if something _had _happened…

Lord, he'd _kill _Leverrier.

"Lavi! Goddamn, Lavi!"

He started at the voice, flipping around in his chair to face Lenalee who was pushing herself through the people rushing back and forth in the crammed up room, using her elbows whenever it was needed. She was holding a phone in her hand too, and by the way her knuckles where ghostly white, it was probably a miracle the device was still in one piece.

Although, it wasn't like Lavi could reprimand her of it. His hand was practically trembling with the force he gripped his own cell phone.

"We can't get the back up, Lavi", Lenalee began even before reaching him, her voice fiercer than he'd ever heard it before. "It's Leverrier. All our authorizations have been cancelled. Nothing works. What do we do, Lavi? What do we do? What _can _we do?"

She was desperate; Lavi could see it in her eyes. Desperate and angry, and he didn't doubt even for a second that if something happened to Kanda, she wouldn't hesitate to help him with ridding the world of Malcom C. Leverrier. No, if it came down to it, she would stop at nothing to get her revenge, of that Lavi was sure. Now, though, now wasn't the time to plan the man's murder, now was the time to make it needless. Kanda wasn't dead yet.

Or so he hoped.

Fingers tightening around the phone, Lavi closed his eyes and tried to _think_.

XxX

Allen watched the white ceiling swim out of the bursts of black and white and all the colors between, and thought idly that maybe he hadn't had a concussion after all. His head did feel still fluffy and the world hadn't quite stopped from swinging around dazedly – although it probably wasn't the world that was dazed – but all in all, he now felt more like floating on a cloud rather than falling straight through it. Well, on a cloud that was a little harder than what was standard.

He still felt comfortable, though.

There was noise – it had never really stopped in the first place – although he didn't seem to be able to concentrate on it. It sounded… urgent, important, and he had a feeling he should be listening to it. He tried, he really did, it was just that every time he was close to interpreting the meaning his head throbbed with pain and all clarity vanished from his thoughts like water in Sahara.

Maybe he did have that concussion after all.

Slowly Allen became aware of something hard and smooth pressed against the inside of his palm, and listlessly he flexed his fingers around it, feeling the texture. It took some time for his mind to comprehend what it was, the facts floating around in his head for a good while before connecting with each other to form an image. A cell phone. Something tugged at his memory.

Oh, that's right. He'd been talking with that guy - who was he again? Lavi? Yes, Lavi. That's it.

Blinking tardily Allen raised the device to his ear, letting his knuckles touch the floor next to his head so he wouldn't need to hold his hand in the air. He wasn't sure if he had the strength to do that at the moment, he still felt abnormally heavy. Weightless and heavy at the same time, huh? Funny. Shouldn't that be impossible?

"Hello", he called quietly, though he wasn't really sure why. It was something about shutting up and a headache, he thought. "Are you still there?"

"_Allen?" _a voice, a _loud _voice exclaimed, and a needle pierced his head. _"You still there?"_

Vaguely Allen noted that it was kind of stupid thing to say, since he'd just asked the exact same thing. However, the thought was lost into the mist rolling over his mind in thick, white waves that covered even the ceiling for a while. He felt a little less like floating. Maybe it was a good thing.

"'M still here. Please, don shout. Mah head hurts. Hit it."

Well that was funny. Was it just him or were his words a little… well…_slurred_? His tongue sure felt like cotton.

_"You-? Is Kanda okay? Are you safe? Unhurt?"_

What was it with all these questions? "'M okay, 'think. Kanda… can't see. Not… here."

"_Not there? Where is he, Allen? What happened?"_

Seriously, couldn't this guy chill down a little? "Don' know. Fuzzy, it'h all fuzzy. Hit mah head."

"_Allen, listen to me. I need you to listen to me, okay?" _the voice said, sounding almost stern. A flicker of worry slipped into his mind and Allen pushed against the haze, trying to focus. He had a feeling it was something important.

"Yhm."

"_You have to tell me if Kanda's okay. Is he injured? Where are you? Try to _concentrate_, Allen, _please_. The help is coming, but I need you to _stay with me_, okay? Focus."_

Allen frowned, trying to remember. "We- we were at his house and talked about… somethin'… and then there were men, with guns, and a lot of shootin', and I… and I think someone hit me from- from behind, and Kanda was… h'was… he was- I don' remember, it was all so groggy, it still's, but… I- I think… he dragged me, and there was more shootin', anh- and…" He shook his head, trying to clear the fog, but ended up only with more pain. "He- he let go ov'me, and… and I don' think it was- was s'long ago. H-he… I…"

"_Focus, Allen, focus. Where is he?"_

Allen blinked, trying to get a hold of his surroundings, and to his dull surprise the ceiling didn't start to spin around the moment he fixed his gaze on it. "Kanda?" he called, raising his voice weakly. "Kanda, are you there?"

"Not _now_- !"

The rush of relief for hearing the familiar voice hiss at him was cut short as he realized that the gunfire was still blaring all around them. He heard Kanda curse, heard yells and then there was a sound like a door rammed open. Even more shots filled the air until he couldn't hear anything else, couldn't remember what it was to not hear them, and it was just firing after firing after firing, and his head felt like it was going to explode. Something heavy settled on his chest, making it impossibly hard to breath, and he gasped for air like a fish on dry land, choking, suffocating, and he felt so helpless, unable to do anything else than listen to the men roaring incoherent words, until- until-

And all of a sudden _Kanda _was _crying out loud_, and without a warning the fear was back. Desperately he tried to get up, on his feet, on his knees, on his side, _anything _to _see _what was happening, to _stop it_, to-

"_Allen, what's going on? What's happening there? Allen!"_

He saw him. He saw him falling down on one knee, hand pressed to his side to stop the blood from flowing out as the men rushed to surround him, guns held ready to fire. He saw his fingers threading around the handle of a sword he'd seen once before and he saw his legs tense as he got ready to lunge. He saw him charging at them, swinging the sword around in graceful circle despite the pain and the exhaustion. And he saw them overpowering him, saw him falling again, saw him hitting the floor.

This time, Kanda didn't get up.

XxX

XxX

I love comments. I really do. They make all of the pain worth this. Please? (Can I get any more pathetic at this?)


	18. Chapter 18

Yes, it's been too damn long and I'm _sorry_. I really am, but seriously, school has been just right about killing me for the past few months. It still is, so I can't make any promises about the next chapter. I originally intented to get this written by the end of the year, but... well, I still might make it, though I honestly doubt it. But since the story is nearing its ending, it might be possible.

Also, I'm sorry for everyone who commented and didn't get an answer to their questions. I think I've replied to two people in total, just because I'v been so damn tired lately (especially right after I'd published the last chapter since school started nearly right after that). I love you all and if you guys weren't so awesome with your incredible feedback and support, I think I would've given up on this long ago. So, no I havent' forgotten any of you. ^^ Lots of hugs, everybody.

Other than that, this is unbetaed version 'cause I wanted to get it published as soon as possible. I'm not at all happy with it, but hope you like it anyway. Though, I'm rather sure you can start to see that I'm loosing my muse here.

**Warnings:** Violence, incoherence, practically NO KANDA for the entire chapter, concussion and randomness.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own DGM. If I did... well, let's not even go there.

**Chapter 18**

**From Eye To Eye**

Cars flashed past the black SUV in an endless red-tinged stream of steel and laminated glass dyed with the yellows and goldens of the setting sun as it sped away from the city among the current of hundreds of other cars, all on their way to the suburbs spreading around the city like some gigantic, well-kept ghetto of the relatively rich and wealthy. The SUV stayed determinedly on it's course, not driving any faster or slower than the other cars, nor shifting from lane to lane in an – admittedly useless – attempt to hurry along the river of deadly fast moving metal. It's owner was in no hurry to get to the designated destination.

Tyki Mikk had waited for long and now that he had what he'd been searching for, he wasn't going to rush.

"Who is he?"

The blonde sitting next to Tyki – a man in his mid twenties who, in truth, wished nothing more than to be pretty much anywhere else than where he was and had only ended up in his job due to a rather unfavorable coincidence – started, before hastily glanced at the picture in his hands to gather his thoughts from where they had scattered and began an explanation he hoped sounded at least passably competent.

"Kanda Yuu, an immigrant from Japan. Came into the country when he was nine and has the nationality of the United States. Foster father Froi Tiedol, no records of his biological family. Dropped out of school after high school and has been associated with some vague groups, though he doesn't have a criminal record. Inherited a fortune… two years ago from Bookman Ltd. which… appears to be some sort of an generic charitable organization with some… probably less than legal past."

"Generic charitable organization with probably less than legal past?" the tanned Portugese dragged out the words, raising an eyebrow at them, and the blonde man nearly choked in his haste to explain.

"T-that is all the intelligence has been able to gather about it, sir. There are several… several mentions of it in different police reports and… other such sources, but the… details are rather obscure. Apparently the head of the corporation is S. Bookman, a man nearing his eighties. We… It seems that… large amount of the Bookman Ltd.'s original capital came from his… rather impressive heritage."

By the time the man ended his hasty speech he was practically shaking with the effort it took not to stammer or repeat every third word. On his first day in the employment of Tyki Mikk the woman who he'd call his secretary in any other job had – with more than discomforting smile – declared that his predecessor had lost his place because of 'excessive stuttering'. It had been at that moment that he'd promptly developed a stutter.

The Mafioso – not that anybody dared to call the Portugese millionaire that out loud – just smiled the way he did whenever someone was going to die a bloody death and stared into the half-filled wineglass in his hand, eyes glistering.

"Pity", Tyki Mikk remarked, voice not at all compassionate. "All that money. Just going to be wasted. Maybe I should make an amend for this S. Bookman for killing their protege?"

XxX

For one never ending moment all Allen could do was to lie still and stare.

The next second what little part of his brain could still function in a manner that distantly resembled normal, was wondering how the hell it was possible that all the furniture _wasn't_ flying through air and impacting with walls, other furniture, people and just everything in general. That was, after all, what they were supposed to be doing when the basic laws of physics like, say, _gravity_ suddenly just stopped applying.

That little part also absent-mindedly wondered how he could stay upright or – for that matter – move in an at least relatively straight line with the bloody _concussion_ he had, not to mention the ever present urge to just crouch over and vomit his insides out on to the floor before him. Oh yeah, and die, preferable quickly so he could be rid of the freaking headache, but never mind that. He _was_ after all flinging himself against what was most likely dozen armed gunmen, all more than ready to kill anything and everything that did and didn't get in their way, and the only weapon he seemed to be capable of using was his vocal chords, which although _could_ gain quite impressive feats, weren't exactly labeled as _fatal_ or even _potentially health-threatening_.

They could be, though, rather _irritating_. Which, in fact, wasn't all that good thing if the potential length of his life was taken in consideration, but what with the way his hands seemed to be unable to use the gun he still clutched in his grasp, it was the best he got at the moment.

And that was how Allen found himself screaming and kicking and twisting in the middle of at least six men large enough to be wrestlers, hysterical and beyond any self-control the abrupt awareness of his unplanned and very involuntary change of situation aroused somewhere behind the thick veils of anger, fear and plain madness. Rationally he realized he had nothing to gain from the confrontation, and he _knew_ he would only get hurt more if he didn't let the men subdue him like _right now_. Yet the rush of sheer _feeling_ coursing through his body as a mixture of adrenal and haze caused by the head-injury didn't let him cease the useless struggle, and it was only when Allen felt himself being pressed hard against he floor that he came to himself enough to actually realize what was happening.

And _it wasn't good_.

He was surrounded by people both hostile and ready to kill, the help wouldn't get there in time and Kanda was seriously injured if not dead already. He couldn't try and run – couldn't even consider leaving Kanda behind – and there was simply no way he could get them both out of the situation alive. Not like this. He needed to _concentrate_, not obtain another head-injury. Getting the crap beaten out of himself sure as hell wouldn't help him with anything.

'_Neither will going crazy, you moron.'_

For some reason the voice sounded almost like Kanda, and Allen didn't know whether to laugh or cry when the realization hit him. Instead he followed the little rational part of his brain that still seemed to know how to act, curling around himself to both buy a few seconds of time and conceal the movement of his hand as it slipped under his shirt while he used the other one to tug the belt of his jacket as tight as he just was able to. He couldn't let the men get either the phone or the gun, not when they were his last hope of ever surviving to see the next day.

Allen just made it pulling his hand free from his clothes when he was jerked up by his elbow to his knees and then halfway to his feet. The room made yet another flip and if he hadn't known better Allen could've sworn the lights flickered off for a moment. He nearly made it back to the floor before another hand grabbed his free arm, hauling him to a position that was actually all but upright as the two men started to drag him out of the room. Craning his neck desperately towards the general direction of where Kanda had fallen, Allen managed to get a short glimpse of the Japanese's face and then he was out in the hallway and Kanda was out of his reach.

Not that it mattered anymore. There was nothing he could do now.

Nothing but wait.

And hope.

XxX

"Lavi!" Lenalee's voice permeated the general ado hacking at his eardrums much like the sound of wind chime would split the steady hum of wind, causing the redhead to jerk his head slightly more upwards despite not letting his eyes waver from the screen in front of him. "What happened? What's going on there? Tell me!"

He pushed her out of his head forcibly, jaw clenching almost painfully as his fingers flew over the keyboard trying to find the right coordinates. He was almost there, almost there, _almost_…

"Lavi, for god's sake, _answer me_! What is happening?"

_There_, his mind hissed and his hands moved like they'd been always meant for this task, this _moment_, and in just half a second the image on the screen had sharpened into a satellite picture of Kanda's house – his _real_ house.

What he saw nearly made him froze.

"Lavi -!"

Cursing like never before Lavi sprung up from the chair and nearly shoved Lenalee down to the floor in his haste to grab his things. She spluttered, face contorting into a look of mixed shock, confusion and not just a little bit of exasperation as she grabbed his arm and with a violent yank spun him around to face her.

"_What_ in the name of all that is good are you -?"

"_Not now_, Lenalee", Lavi cut her dangerously high-pitched demand off, jaw set with determination as he strapped his gun in place. Fixing his eyes firmly on hers, he lowered his voice just enough to make Lenalee _listen_. "I need you to take over here and get whatever help you can get to Kanda's house by whatever means it takes. Alright? _Whatever it takes_."

She frowned, glancing quickly at the gun. "But what about you? What are you going to do?"

Lavi twisted his tight-pressed lips to something that could distinctly indicate a smile and quickly squeezed her shoulder for encouragement. "I'm gonna go pay my dept as long as I still can."

With that he turned around and rushed out of the room.

Hopefully not too late.

XxX

Allen didn't fight as he was dragged down the stairs to the all but destroyed entryway, one of his captors holding a gun at ready in case he did something – anything – that wasn't to their liking. So, keeping his head down, he stumbled along with them, trying to gain his footing with every step and all the while praying the world would stop swaying as if they were on a ship in the middle of an stormy ocean. He felt like throwing up any time, and if to mock the at least temporal lucidity of his thoughts, the headache was getting worse with every second that passed by.

He hadn't felt this horrible since the last of the drugs had finally burned out of his system.

Predictably the man dragged him out of the house, no doubt wanting out of the scene as fast as possible. Despite the late hour _somebody_ ought to have heard the shots and called the police. The region looked like a relatively safe neighborhood with lots of families that had children, and something like what had just happened wouldn't go unnoticed around this kind of place, no matter _what_ time it was. The fact that all of the houses were dark just meant that the people had the sense to stay inside.

His musings were cut off when Allen suddenly found himself facing the grass from an unnecessarily close viewpoint, the damp ground pressed flat against the length of his body and moisture from the lawn already starting to infiltrate through his clothes. He just had the time to feel the dizzying pain that surged through his body in a wave which path he couldn't quite pinpoint, and cringe at it, before some atavistic sense somewhere deep within his subconsciousness set off the alarms.

A pair of shoes stopped right at the edge of his peripheral vision.

'No._ No, no, no…'_

"It's been a while, now hasn't it, shonen?"

Allen would've liked to think that he stayed flat against the ground for having enough sense _not to_ scoot up and scramble away from the owner of the voice like a madman, but that would've been a lie. The truth was that he simply could not make himself move. The fact it was probably for the best was just coincidence.

Key word being 'probably'.

"Well now? Where are your manners?" the voice – the _man_ – continued from above him with a falsely pleasant tone, obviously expecting an answer from him. An answer Allen wouldn't have been able to give even if he'd wanted to. He couldn't even breath past the lump in his throat. Idly, a part of him – and not just a little part – wondered if choking to death right away would be for the best.

Not so surprisingly majority of him definitely thought so.

"Don't tell me you've gotten your tongue cut off, boy", the man sighed almost irritably. Or well, as irritably as he ever got without turning out right furious. Allen had never met another person whose tone could drip with honey through the whole range of emotions presented in humankind and still always sound eerily venomous. He supposed most people would call it smooth.

"Have I done something?" the man asked, now sounding somewhat amused, and with a little spark of dry humor Allen realized that now that he was facing the Portugese he couldn't even _think_ his name. "Upset you somehow? Or why is it that I'm getting the silent treatment?"

It was almost funny, really. He felt frozen, paralyzed by the dread of drawing any more of the man's attention – as if that was even possible, seeing he was already the object of his focus – and yet, yet it felt unreal. It was as if he was beyond the fear – or too deep in it to be anymore able to discern it from the tangled up mess that his feeling currently were. Rationally, he knew he was probably bordering hysteric, yet on an emotional level it was just absurd. Like a dream that quite didn't fit even though he couldn't tell what was wrong either.

He knew he felt the fear; the fear he always felt, always carried with him; the fear that he hadn't really felt tonight until Kanda had been overpowered and struck down. It stole his voice, his breath. It forced him to lay still and made him wonder if he was just afraid because Kanda couldn't protect him anymore and not… not because he was actually worried _for_ the Japanese. The thought was enough to make his stomach lurch until he was sure he _would_ throw up on the man's shoes. He knew he wasn't brave or valiant, that had been proved just too many times in his life. Still, he didn't want to think he was so shallow and selfish. And he _definitely_ didn't want to think what would happen if he _did_ vomit right there.

The tip of the other polished shoe nudged Allen's cheek, interrupting his incoherently swirling thoughts. He blinked in surprise, head rolling a little with the movement, and immediately hoped he hadn't done that as the ground below him suddenly gyrated once a full three-hundred and sixty degrees before settling to gentle swaying again.

"Did some of you idiots kill him?" the man asked, voice almost snappish, and with a morbid kind of amusement Allen noted he didn't sound sweet at all anymore. He sounded like a man who had had a bad day that just got worse. Of course it would mean that others around him would have even _more_ horrible time, but for the second the dizziness had managed to throw his fear off-balance so he wasn't really worried. Yet.

The shoe nudged his cheek again, this time a little harder, and Allen couldn't help the pained groan as he was sent twirling with the speed of light through space and time again. If the world didn't stop moving around like that and _soon_, he would seriously loose his mind.

"So you're just playing dead", the man stated, his words once again coated with sugar. "Tell me, what are you hoping to accomplish? Do you think I would be stupid enough to just leave you there? That I'd be stupid enough to ever actually let you go?"

They weren't leaving, Allen comprehended as the shoes in front of him sifted ever so slightly. They weren't leaving until the Portuguese Mafioso had finished whatever it was that he'd come to do here. And someone had _had to_ call for help. If not Lavi, then some neighbor, and that meant it was only matter of time before someone would come.

Only a matter of time.

Which meant he had to stall.

Breathing in deep, Allen wetted his lips and forced his mouth to work. "Bud… yah did", he slurred, not quite needing to fake the confusion in his voice. The man had, after all, sold him away. Not that he had ever complained.

The feet shifted on the lawn, and Allen couldn't help holding his breath as the man leaned closer. "Oh", the syllable dropped like bead of lead, making it incredibly difficult to swallow down the ash that had formed in his mouth at some point. "So you decided I'm yet worth paying attention to?"

He knew the Portuguese man too well to mistake the light tone to be genuine. Where others heard nothing the man didn't want them to hear, his ears picked up the just _so_ slightly discorded bottom shed, the all but translucent edge of threat, the way the cadence of his voice rose and fell – sings of emotion, of anger. Of danger. He heard them just because he knew what to look for.

The last time he'd heard that particular timbre, he'd nearly gotten all of his finger broken.

"Aw… I'vh… I'v been listng… all'v'th… time", Allen mumbled, taking his time to make the words just the right amount of incoherent to pass the act of not being in his senses while still being understandable. He had to keep the man talking.

"Really?" the Noah asked, dragging out the word. "Then why, pray tell, did you not answer when I made a question?"

Blinking to clear his swimming vision Allen pressed his forehead harder against the cool grass and swallowed again. "All… all blurry. Hit mah head… Spinng… ev'rth… ev'ryth… all spinng… a'oundh. Can'th… fofus."

"You hit your head?"

"Yeah…" he mumbled against the ground, wanting crawl into some dark hole somewhere and curl around himself as the world did yet another dizzying dip against all laws of physic. Apparently, talking made him fell worse. A _lot_ worse.

It was only when Allen felt a hand touching his head that he realized the man had crouched down next to him. The air in his lungs seemed to freeze over as the awareness of what was happening registered in his brain, but before he could even begin to react one way or another, fingers were already threading themselves into his hair and the man was talking with a falsely compassionate voice.

"Poor, poor thing", the man murmured, the grip on his hair tightening as his head was slowly forced up. "To think what that man has done to you, shonen. Desert you like that even though he's supposed to take care of you. Just unbecoming."

Heart beating somewhere in his throat, Allen raised his gaze up from the neatly polished shoes and found himself facing Tyki Mikk from eye to eye. And as he watched, the man's lips slowly stretched into a smile that was everything but kind.

"I think we should make him pay for that."

Comments are always appreciated. ^^ And, umh, I don't know what's it with me and cliffhangers. Seriously.


	19. Chapter 19

I am so, so, _so sorry_. I truly am. I've seriously hit the worst block of my life thusfar and at the same time my RL is... well, not going nuts but obviously trying to kill me. I promise I will do my everything to see this story to its end, if not for anything else then for you and for the principle. I try to complete this story till next June, which shouldn't be impossible as we have only few chapters to go. I'm sorry to say but I've really lost true interest for this (and the same is gradually happening with the fandom, sadly - _I need more DGM_ -) and I'm afraid you can see that in the text too, not just in the time between updates.

Also, I'm sorry I haven't answered any comments. I swear I do read them and I love you all who give them, they keep me going even after months of not writing at all. I'll try to finish this for you all.

(My beta seems to be off somewhere, so this is unbetaed. Sorry, once again.)

**Warnings:** Violence, random behavior, complete _utter_ OOCness (I'm really very sorry about this, I am, but I'll give you an explanation in the last few chapters), possibly OOCness _within_ OOCness (*fail*), Tyki, anonymoys gunmen, panic, hysteria, almost giggling, Kanda being not very lucid, CAPSLOCK (sorry about this too) and a possible cliffhanger. Again.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own DGM, I make no profit and this isn't even for my own amusement.

**Chapter 19**

**The Pot And The Kettle**

**XxX**

**XxX**

For a second time that day, fear ceased to be fear, though this time instead of calmness that had nothing to do with tranquility Allen was left with a nearly hysteric sense of absurdness. And maybe just enough common sense to keep the knowledge of what would happen if he stopped talking in mind.

'_I think we should make him pay for that.'_

The sentence drifted through his mind for what felt like the hundredth time in the last one and a half seconds, echoing and overlapping with the whispers that seemed hell bent on making his head burst. He swallowed down the strangled giggle that wanted to slip past his lips and, blinking at the gold-honey-hazel eyes too close to his own, did his best to look like a drunken person trying very hard to think something that at the moment seemed quite complicated even though in reality was pretty simple.

"Nah", Allen managed, with a movement that could be classified as shaking his head. "T'wasn't s'fault. 'Think it's one'ov yer men, actly. Hith'me from b'hind."

Tyki Mikk raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. "Really? But shouldn't he have protected you from my men? To me it seems like he neglected his job quite a bit there."

Something wanted to come up his throat, _bad_, and for a moment it took everything Allen had just to keep his expression puzzled as he stared at the Portuguese man before him. Or well, more like above him, really. Buying few seconds by opening and closing his mouth as though he didn't know what to say, Allen managed to fight the lump back down.

"Huh, ya think so?" he asked, heart beating hard as he tilted his head as much as he could what with the way Tyki still gripped his hair. "Though", he added, "he _was_ pretty busy wi'the shootin'n'everhtin' goin'on there."

"Excuses", Tyki replied without missing a beat, eyes level.

"Well…" Allen started, trailing off as nothing convenient came up. _Keep talking, keep talking, keep ta-_ "…well, yea'. Guess you're right'bout that. Though, doesn't'hat make ya a hyph-hypoh-hyphicrat… Darn", he muttered, giving up on saying the word that just wouldn't come. "I'mean, you're callin' the pot callin'… Wait, no. I _mean_, the pot is callin' the ketthle black, now."

Tyki stared at him, one eyebrow raised and looking at him like he was sprouting total nonsense… which he probably was, but hell if that was going to stop him from taking pleasure from the ridiculous expression on the man's face. The urge to laugh that hit him like a tide was all but impossible to stop.

"The pot is calling the kettle black?" Tyki repeated.

Allen nodded enthusiastically – or at least he tried to appear to be enthusiastic – and nearly smiled. "Yup. That's right. Since, ya'know, _you_ didn' even try prot-proc-_protecting_ me from… all shorts'ov injuries. Act'aly, you were doin' the'xtact oppso-opposithe", he added, forcing back the memories that wanted to freeze him up from the inside. "So, you're bein' a pot thath's callin' the ketthle black."

"I…" the man said slowly. "…am a pot."

It didn't quite qualify for a question.

"Well… I don' think that was teh'point, r'lly", Allen trailed just as slowly, desperately trying to keep his act together and his shoulders from shaking even as he felt his lips starting to twitch threateningly. He was on the verge of hysterical, uncontrolled laughter and felt like _choking_. The little part of him that was still somehow – and damn him if he knew how – sane kept screaming that _this was so not funny and why the hell was he about to burst into a senseless laughter when he was inches away from _death_ and keep up the act, keep-_! "It'sh a methac-methfa-methro… ya'know th'word, a syn'nym for symb-_symbolic_?"

Tyki stared at him dryly. "Metaphoric?"

"Yesh! Thas its!"

"I suppose you mean 'that's it'."

"Yeh, that."

There was a silence that somehow managed to be both ominous, awkward and hilarious all at once, and by the time it had been going on for ten seconds Allen started to get the feeling he should say something before the Portuguese man could decide he'd gotten tired of talking.

"So-?"

"I have a question for you", Tyki cut him of before he could even think of what to put after the first syllable. Forcing down the desperate _need_ to simply _keep talking_, Allen managed to hold back the desire to lick his lips which currently felt as dry as sandpaper. He wasn't about to complain if the man wanted to extend his life by a couple more sentences.

"Yea, sur'. Whatshit?"

There was another – though shorter – silence as the Mafioso stared at him with a look that Allen could've labeled as 'slightly disturbed' if not for the fact that _Tyki Mikk_ did not feel disturbed, _ever_. It was like saying that Kanda felt cuddly or something. He stifled another hysteric giggle and fought to keep himself together.

"I'd like to know why you aren't afraid."

'_What makes you think I'm not?'_ was the thing first to be on the tip of his tongue, though luckily for Allen, he caught himself before it spilled out. Smartass wasn't what he wanted to be right now… Well, at least not any more than he already was being, anyway. He _really_ didn't want to have Tyki going ballistic on him or Kanda or anybody else for that matter.

…Well, it _could_ be a good thing if he went ballistic on his own men.

It didn't seem to happen, though, so he went for the next best option.

"The concs-concusci-_concussion_", he managed to say, though only barely. "It's messin' wit'mah head. Ev'r'thin's all weird'n'stuff, makesh me want'o laugh. Whitch isn'a good'thin'."

"Makes you want to laugh?"

"Yeah. Hysheric'lly. Like, no sense at'all."

Tyki was silent again and although Allen felt the man's gaze on him, he was just happy for the break. His whole body felt like shaking, and keeping his speech just the right amount of slurred was starting to get to him. He wished Tyki would let go of his hair so he could press his head back against the cool grass. It seemed like the highest heaven right now.

Besides, the absurdness was starting to wane away, leaving him to struggle for every even breath. It had acted like an anesthetic, keeping him from feeling the fear tighten its grasp, and now that he was starting to feel again, his senses were paralyzed by the sensations. Air refused to flow through his too tight throat, his chest was crushed under the ever mounting pressure, and in the haze filling his mind, his thoughts scattered around and collided. He had the urge to curl into a ball and cry and sob and laugh until he went mad from all of it.

"Then, pray tell, why do I have the feeling you're not being honest with me?"

'_Please, someone – anyone.'_

**XxX**

Lavi slammed his foot harder on the gas pedal and sped through the gaps of the highway traffic, for once more than glad for the car's modifications. After all times Yuu had nearly killed him with his driving style – he swore his life expectancy had been at least halved by all the scares – it ought to be of some use to him.

Besides, exceeding the speed limit with as many notches as he did right now got all the cops in this part of the town after him. God knew he would need them where he was going.

"Damn, Yuu, you better hold it out. I still haven't paid that damn dept."

**XxX**

"_Well… think… as teh'point… r…ly… met… methro… th'word, a syn'nym…b…olic."_

"…_taphocir?"_

The world was black, painful and fractionated. It pulsed unevenly, one moment strong, the other weak. Shades of black swirled around discordant tones that bled in through his buzzing ears just to break and scatter, and break and scatter again, with a rhythm that was almost familiar even though it appeared to make no sense at all. Pressure came and went, came and went again, and so did his thoughts, slow and languid. Something in it disturbed him, made him… uneasy.

He didn't like feeling uneasy. It was annoying.

"_I… pose… mean that is…"_

"…'_eh, that…"_

The buzzing grew louder, even as it grew weaker, which was quite irritating as he was rather sure it wasn't possible. And something that wasn't possible, just wasn't _possible_, which meant it was _impossible_ and impossible things didn't happen. Yet they _were_ _doing exactly that_. Even though they shouldn't.

He had a feeling something wasn't quite right with his thinking. It was too… idiotic. He was sure his thoughts didn't usually sound this retarded. It was Usagi's job, not his.

"…_have… estion for y…"_

"…_sur… shit…?"_

"_Why… you… afraid?"_

_Why you afraid?_ He wasn't afraid and he _definitely_ wasn't having a conversation with anyone, not with the way his head and neck seemed to pulse with pain. In fact, he was rather hoping that whoever the hell it was that talked _so damn loud_ and _didn't even manage to make any damn sense_ would just shut up or go and have their conversation somewhere else.

Something nagged the corners of his mind. Something about… something happening somewhere… and somebody doing something… to someone…

…and fuck he was getting fed up with this shit. 'Some this' and 'some that' wasn't going to do a shit for him. It definitely wouldn't make the headache go away.

"…_e con… usci… cussion… messin' wit… head. Ev'r'thin… ird'n'stuff… makesh… want'o…"_

Wait, wasn't that Allen? Slurry and completely incomprehensible – not to mention annoying – but decidedly _Allen_.

"…_itch… isn'a go…thin'…"_

What the hell? Why did he sound like Usagi four in the morning on Sunday when everybody else except for the two of them had sacked out? Had he gotten Allen drunk in some point? And why the hell would he do that, it could complicate things if they ever got to the court. Besides, the Moyashi wasn't even adult yet.

And shit, if only the damn headache would _fuck off_. Had he gotten himself drunk too?

"_Makes you… ant… laugh?"_

Wait. He knew that voice. And it wasn't Allen's.

"…_ea… hysh…ic'lly… ike no sens… 't all…"_

What the hell was going -? Oh. Yeah.

…_shit_.

**XxX**

Hands grabbed Allen by his elbows and he couldn't quite stop himself from flinching as the men yanked him up to his knees. Inhaling sharply against the sick lump in his throat he blinked furiously in order to rid his vision from the hazy fail that had descended over it. When the picture finally cleared, he found himself being held within a more tolerable distance from his ex-owner, who paced the lawn calmly a few feet away from him.

Relief mixed with the completely unhelpful, _ridiculous_ wish to cry Allen couldn't quite banish. His cheek still stung from the sharp hit that had followed his last comment.

The breather didn't last for long as the Portuguese came to a halt, spinning around to face him again with that less than pleasant smile on his lips again. A wave of nausea that had nothing to do with the concussion racked through Allen's body and this time he really did have to fight to keep the bile from coming up.

He couldn't keep his breath from hitching, though.

"The thing is, I didn't come here because I miss you", Tyki said, leaning forward a little. "Don't get me wrong, shonen – you're comely enough and definitely one of the more pleasing distractions. I rather like you, even, and this business is really a pity since you can take things worse than most. However -", the man paused briefly as he straightened back to his full height again. "- that's all you are: a distraction. And I wouldn't waste this much effort for a single whore, no matter how enjoyable."

Apparently, the growing fear hadn't yet chased all of his mad ludicrousness from his uncomfortably fuzzy head, Allen noted as his confusion mingled with the almost annoyingly persistent grogginess and terror in the back of his head to form a cloud of ill-placed hilarity which he failed to control fully. For a second he thought he was going to start laughing or coughing or wheezing – or just _something_ to ease the pressure in his throat, trying to bubble up. Then the full force of the dread caught up to him and he was left trembling and fumbling for something, _anything_.

"I – I… But I… you…" His lips felt chapped, his tongue swollen. "Then… then why… if not… not…" Forcing words past his lips even while trying to gasp for air through what felt like an iron grip around his neck, Allen desperately attempted to find some _sense_ in his own chaotic mind that just kept getting all the more chaotic by the minute. Moods followed one another in a too fast stream to follow. "Th-then _why_?"

Tyki raised an eyebrow. "Hurt, shonen?" he asked, voice silken even as his lips stretched into a sardonic smirk.

A feeble flare of indignation flickered to life for the briefest of moments, and Allen managed to pull himself up just the slightest of fraction. Voice bland he uttered a terse _"no"_ and then pressed his lips to a thin line to stop them from quivering. Some little part of him laughed maniacally in the same hysteria that made the rest of him cry and beg incoherently in his own head.

Tyki stared at him steadily for a moment before waving his hand at the gunmen who were holding Kanda on the ground. Not that the Japanese needed much holding. He hadn't moved a muscle since he'd been knocked out. When the men hauled him up by his arms, it came painfully obvious that the possibility of him never again moving _anything_ by his own volition was more likely than not. Dark pool of what couldn't be anything but blood had stained the grass where he'd been lying prone for the duration of the conversation, and as he was left hanging limply against the hold that kept him half up on his knees, the red liquid slowly dribbling down his side came clearly in sight.

Allen forced down a choked cry.

"As I said, this really is a pity", Tyki said stepping away from him, the tone of the words blatantly contradicting with the coldness in his eyes. "But it can't be helped. You've seen and heard just too much and therefore are a risk which cannot be left alone. You see, the Earl doesn't want people from outside the family running around with information they aren't supposed to be privy to."

"B-but I haven't talked!" Allen stammered over the words, breath hitching in his throat. "_No one_ ever talks!"

The Portuguese just raised an eyebrow at him. "Well, yes. I have to admit you are right about that. However, the Earl places a lot more value on more _corporeal_ warranties than to vague, conceptual insurances of secrecy, and I can't really fault him for it", Tyki stated calmly, shoulders rising once. "It's either blood bound or blood spilled."

His eyes burned with terrified tears, and for a moment Allen teetered on the edge of complete hysteria. He couldn't understand – he'd done nothing, told nothing, not even after all those weeks of questions and confusion and the _caring_ he just wasn't able to _comprehend_, and suddenly, suddenly it was simply _too much_. His hands shook and breath thickened, and for a moment the fear was overrode by anger as deep as every single one of his long since scarred wounds.

"And I wager that a dead corpse goes for a 'more corporeal warranty'", he bit out, voice tense with loathing and hate that surprised even himself. Tyki too, seemed somewhat taken off-guard for a second, albeit it was gone as quickly as it came.

"This isn't my call. I would have rather kept you alive", the man said indifferently, before smiling at him the way Allen had long ago learned to connect with a very unpleasant near future coming his way, _fast_. "That isn't to say I can't – or won't – enjoy it, though."

Holding onto the rapidly diminishing anger to push against the dread his impending death cast over his haze filled mind, Allen forced himself to say the words he'd half-consciously longed to spat to Tyki's face ever since he'd met him. In a way, the fear of death worked for his advantage; until now he'd always had something else to be afraid of, keeping him from speaking his mind in fear of pain and torture when he'd wanted nothing more than to scream words of hatred at the man. Now, he knew, there wasn't time for intricacy and slow, agonizing death – only a shot through the head, over in less than a second. It didn't do much, but it did _enough_.

Fear gave him backbone. If he hadn't been so immersed in gathering every last bit of loathing that existed in him, Allen would have laughed at the notion.

"You're _sick_."

All in all, it was rather anticlimactic and the unaffected tilt of head from Tyki wasn't at all satisfying response. Nevertheless, it made him feel _better_. Like having a collateral victory in a primary defeat.

_- …you are and idiot, idiot, idiot, do you think it's going to help, how is _feeling better_ going to save you, you stup… -_

"Yes, I know. There's nothing I can do about it", his former owner replied, unconcerned. "And this conversation is over now. We've wasted enough time as it is, and I want to be away from here when the police arrive. The fact that none of the neighbors are stupid enough to come out doesn't mean they haven't called cops."

Tyki turned and started to walk towards one the black SUVs. '_Typical_', the part of Allen's mind that'd kept him functioning for the last half an hour snorted with contempt purely born out of the sense of needing to block the knowledge of what was about to happen from his consciousness. Part of him was already in the middle of a desperate attempt at trying to convince the world in general that this wasn't going to happen, that it wasn't even _real_, just a dream and he was going to _wake up_ any moment now, _any moment_…

Other part of him – the part which had been in the fists of panic attack right from the beginning – just kept screaming that if he didn't start doing something, and damned fast at that, he was going get killed by the men holding him, and was he deaf or retarded because _if you're just going to sit there like a duck waiting to be shot, you are going to _die_, do you understand that, do you understand what dying means, it means you are going to stop being _alive_ and all the nice things about _living_ are going to stop and you are _dead_, _DEAD,_ gone forever and there's no coming back and don't you understand the concept of _forever_ –_

Tyki raised his hand to wave over his shoulder to the vague direction of where Kanda was and with his other hand pulled a cigarette out of his pocket.

_- and you don't want to die, you don't want to die, but you just sit there and do _nothing_ as if someone is going to come and save you, as if Kanda is going to save you, and do you know what, he _isn't_, no one is coming, no one will be here in time, no one will save your pathetic excuse of a life and _he will win_ –_

A flicker of anger burst back into life in Allen.

The cigarette lit up and Tyki breathed in slowly, letting the smoke out of his lungs with long exhale.

"Kill them."

_- so get _up_ and _SAVE YOURSELF_!_

A barrel of a gun pressed against Allen's temple, his breath froze even as his legs kicked, a cry of pain split the air, a yell, crushing pressure on his wrist, and then the unmistakable sound of a machine gun being fired blast the world asunder.

Lighting. The sound of thunder. Howling wind amongst the crashing raindrops.

A sense of falling.

His back hit the ground.

**XxX**

"Kill them."

Kanda didn't wait for the three men around him to react according to the order. Surging straight from total limpness to full action he forcibly ignored the searing pain flaring up and down his side and across his abdomen and grabbed the man on his left by his elbow. A smooth step behind his back and swift yank on the arm resulted in a well-audible crack and a half-muffled cry. Continuing his movement Kanda spun to the other side of the man, pulling him along with the roll, and before the other two had time to do nothing but start rising their guns, thrust the Latino in his hold against the closest hitman.

Knowing he had but a few short seconds, Kanda duck down and lunged after his human shield. Caught off-guard, the still uninjured man didn't managed to disentangle himself from his coworker soon enough. Never stopping his movement, Kanda gripped the man by his knee, flung his left arm over the gunman's upper thigh and crashed to the ground, pressing down sharply with both his hands. With a crunch the knee bent backwards unnaturally, and the man cried out in pain.

Kanda kept rolling until the momentum of the dive brought him back on the balls of his feet. Catching a flash of movement in the corner of his eye, he sprung over the two lying men, landed on his side on the other side of them and snatched the gun machine from where it had dropped when the second hitman had fallen. Rolling back up in a whirl of color and motion, Kanda raised the gun in front of him and shot without a moment of hesitation even as his free hand reached up and turned aside the weapon of the third man meant to guard him just barely in time to redirect the bullets.

The sound of sirens reached his ears as Kanda circled the dead man, shielding himself with his body. Five of the seven men still alive and able to stand on their own had turned towards him, all aiming or raising their weapons. Two were coming at him while three tried to cover Mikk who was now only few meters from the car. Even as Kanda rotated one-hundred and eighty decrees, the gun blasting a ceaseless pour of fire and finishing off the two fallen men and taking out two other, he saw the Portuguese spun around, a pistol in hand. Deciding that a few more second of standing still – or near-still – would most likely mean getting a bullet in his head or some other body part where he didn't want one, Kanda let go of the dead body and dove behind the closest of the four cars.

He nearly made it there. On the last possible minute his left shoulder took a hit, and the force of the impact sent him spinning. By luck and the right moving direction he crashed to the ground just barely in the cover of the car, fire spreading from the wound and his vision filling with red and white spots.

Knuckles white he gripped the gun and managed to pull the trigger once. A warning shot to tell them he was still alive. It would buy him the time their cautiousness took.

The sirens grew louder.

Kanda grunted and with a hiss of pain propped himself against the car. Pressing his head against the metal for a second he gritted his teeth and tried to shut out the pain. His first attempt at trying to get up to his knees failed, as did the second, and when he finally managed to maneuver himself to a position where he could actually shoot, beads of cold sweat were trickling down his forehead.

"Damn you, Lavi. If you screw up, I'm gonna kill you."

Holding the gun up with his uninjured arm, Kanda swung it over his head once and duck down quickly as the car was hit by a round of bullets. When the firing ceased he quickly returned it before taking cover again.

He made sure he never looked towards where he'd last seen Allen.

**XxX**

His back hit the ground and for an eternity it became silent.

Wind.

Rain.

A yell.

Allen's eyes opened to the world of the living.

**XxX**

**XxX**

Please, comment! That is the only damn thing that makes me open the file on my computer anymore!

(P.S. It could be a worse cliffhanger. I could have left the last part out.)


	20. Chapter 20

Well, it didn't take me more than, what? Four months or something? Ugh, I'm really sorry. I just lost all will to write. But hey, good news is there's not so much to go yet, probably only one chapter and then the epilogue, so I'll get it done. Thank you for everyone who has sent comments, it's done amazing to have someone cheer me up every few weeks with a new review even if there haven't been any new chapters. Bear with me just a little longer and we'll have this less-than-on-the-right-track project over and everybody can be happy. ^^

Anyway, as I don't have beta, this is unbetaed. I've gone through it once, but there will probably be some mistakes there.

**Warnings:** The usual. Concussion, guns, dead people, possible inappropriate usage of dead people, possible OOCness (not so much Kanda as Allen, on Lavi's behalf I don't know), general craziness and insane behavior.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DGM and I get no profit from this. These days, I rarely get any fun, either.**  
**

**XxX**

**XxX  
**

**Chapter 20**

**The Last Men Standing**

**XxX**

The world came into focus with an almost painfully fast swoosh. The howling of sirens, the frantic yelling and above everything the sound of ceaseless _firing,_ all crashed upon him like a breaking wave, and for long seconds Allen gagged silently under the crushing weight that had at some point landed on top of him.

"What… in th'name of…", he croaked out pushing with both hands until what was revealed to be one of Tyki's men rolled off of him enough for him to crawl from under the guy. Feeling dizzy and out of breath he collapsed right back on the ground. It was only when the ruckus managed to push past the pounding in his ears that he raised his face off the grass.

The first thing Allen saw was the very dead face of the _other_ one of the two men Tyki had ordered to kill him. For a moment he just stared. Then he blinked and let his head flop back down ungracefully.

"Well, a'least I don'need to worry 'bout them", he muttered to himself. After a second he added: "Though, in th'other case I'd be dead, so I don'suppose it matthers."

He managed to keep the "how nice of them to kill each other off" unsaid.

The steady roar of gunfire was momentarily cut through by the sound of shattering glass, and with a start Allen was pulled back to focus as the situation slammed into him. Forgetting to feel nauseous he shifted closer to the dead gunman at his left before raising his head enough to steal a glance at the yard.

Tyki and the rest of his hitmen – those that were still alive, at least – had taken cover behind the two cars closer to Allen. He could see them perfectly well from where he lay, and for a second the realization that he was still alive only because of sheer _luck_, froze the air in his lungs. If any of the men had turned around and seen him lying unconscious under the dead man behind who he now hid – or, worse yet, seen him crawl from underneath him – , he mightn't have ever woken up again.

Pressing his forehead against the cool ground for a few seconds Allen breathed in deep before glancing back up. He could just see Kanda behind the car that had been driven closest to the house, leaning out of his cover every time he had the even the slightest change to shoot without getting hit in the process. The black SUV was splattered with marks bullets had made, and there was hardly anything left of its windows.

How the man had managed to even get there injured and fighting – Allen let his gaze flicker quickly over the bodies scattered on the yard – at least five men, was beyond him. He doubted he could even _get _up, not to mention _stay_ up, what with the way his head was slowly filling up with cotton again, and Kanda had been _shot_.

Funny, you'd think you would feel groggy when you wake up from being unconscious and then start feeling better, not the other way around.

One of Tyki's men yelled something incomprehensible, causing Allen to jerk and press himself flat on the ground. His heart pummeled a few off-beat paces before his brain registered that he hadn't been noticed. Carefully he raised himself again, this time a little higher – though only for as long as it took for him to fish the gun out from under his jacket where it had been smashed quite painfully against his ribs when he'd lunged down on the ground. Settling prone on the grass, again, Allen stared at it for a moment.

What had he been thinking, putting a loaded gun inside his clothes?

'_You're suicidal, that's what you are_', a voice that resembled suspiciously much Kanda pointed out.

'_Yeah. And crazy_', he answered dryly as he reached back inside the jacket.

Allen was halfway pulling the cell phone out when a loud, ear-piercing _screech_ cut the gunfight to a fleeting halt. Startled, his head snapped around even as he pressed himself closer to the ground, the device slipping from his fingers. Heart on overdrive for the umpteenth time in the last couple of minutes, he cast his eyes to the direction everyone else had turned to and felt his mouth drop open.

"What…?"

A black car _flew_ – and that was an exaggeration only by a scratch – into view, nearly crashing against the pristine white fence of the first house on the street. The driver barely managed to turn the car in time, leaving deep tracks on the grass as it bounced back on the asphalt and shot forward towards them. Feeling faint Allen thought he heard angry yelling from somewhere around the direction Kanda was supposed to be, though he couldn't understand why the Japanese would be screaming something that sounded like '_watch the car, watch the car, watch the fucking _car_, your idiot!'_.

Well, he definitely was watching the car and it _did not_ help a thing so he didn't really understand-

And then the gunfire was roaring in the air again, and before Allen had even the time to _flinch_, the windshield shattered over the driver and the car swerved off its course with a violent turn. His alarmed half-shout was lost behind the crash.

**XxX**

Lavi half stumbled, half fell out of the car when the safety belt finally unbuckled, landing on the grass in a heap of disheveled clothes, shards and some hopefully minor injuries. At least nothing appeared to be broken, no screaming agony pulsing through leg or arm or back. His ribs did hurt, though, and breathing appeared to be a little more difficult than usual – and his ears rang with an annoying, rising and falling tone that seemed almost familiar.

Oh, god forbid, he wasn't going to be stuck with listening some annoying theme music for the rest of his life, was he?

"You crashed my fucking car, you fucking son of a bitch, Usagi! You crashed _my car_!"

Oh yes, and that was Kanda alright. Yelling at him like usual. Though, the Japanese did have the right to be slightly mad, after all it was his car and not Lavi's, and he hadn't even asked a permission what with the way he was in too much of a rush to save Kanda's life-

Right! Save Kanda's life! That's what he was supposed to be doing. Not lying on the ground while there was a gunfight going on around him.

With a groan Lavi scrambled up on his hands and knees and after deciding the world seemed unsteady enough even from that height, shuffled to where the still slightly blurry figure of Kanda was imagining up new profanities. Some of them in Japanese.

"Came to… came to rescue you", Lavi announced as he slumped back on the ground, head lolling against the car. There was a piece of metal sticking up from the grass few inches from his leg. It took him half a second to figure out why it was there – which, in turn, made him decide that his possible injuries – as well as the crash itself – were a bit worse than he'd thought.

"Well fucking job. Now I don't have to save just myself, but get your stupid ass out of this too."

Feeling increasingly faint by the moment, Lavi tried to push himself to a little bit more upright position even as he fumbled for his gun. "I have you known, my ass is fabulous", he declared, voice slightly more slurry than he'd intended. "And the fact we're kind of screwed doesn't give you the right to insult it."

"You _crashed my car_."

"Okay, but you'll gotta stop when this is over, alright!"

There was a sound almost like glass shattering but not quite, and the next second the last of the SUV's windows rained all over them. Kanda spat another stream of curses, while Lavi managed to finally free his gun from its holster and pushed up and started firing. Two and a half seconds later he had to duck back down to avoid being shot.

"So, where's the kid?" he yelled over the noise, trying not to cringe at the sharp spikes of pain that went through his skull with every syllable.

Kanda didn't answer as he loaded his gun, lips pressed tight together and shoulders tense. His movements were violent in a way that was unusual even for him, and Lavi had never seen his eyes quite so dark and impassive before. Dead.

Intent on killing.

He felt cold for his friend. It had been just a job, sure, to live with the kid, to get to know him, to sleep with him, but he'd be the first one to admit that it was a crappy one at that and that Kanda had all the rights to be angry with them for practically forcing him to do it. But Lavi was far from being blind and he'd known the Japanese for _ages_. The kid had grown on the man, somehow, at some point, and now – now this Moyashi was dead.

He was about to open his mouth, say something useless to try and help, when it suddenly registered what the dark stains on Kanda's jacket were.

"You're shot! Fuck Kanda, why didn't you say something?" Lavi moved forward, ignoring the way the ground seemed to shift beneath him, and went to grab the Japanese man's blood stained shoulder. Kanda just shoved him off, hissing as he was forced to move the arm.

"Shut up. It's nothing", the man snapped.

"Like hell it is! Do you want to bleed to death, you idiot?"

The black eyes turned to him like a whip, and although he should've been used to having that glare directed at him, Lavi couldn't help flinching. "I'll be _shot_ to death if you don't stop fussing about it and start firing at them, and so will you!" Kanda snarled. To prove that the universe did have the most twisted sense of humor in the… well, in the _universe_, the side-view mirror was smashed into splinters and nearly ripped off the car as it was shot through.

Cursing Lavi lunged down. Next to him Kanda did the same, albeit his profanities were a lot louder and vicious. More bullets hit the car and with alarm that threatened to border on panic Lavi realized they were coming from different angle than before.

Scrambling forward on all fours he hauled himself to where the hood of Kanda's car was crushed against the SUV. One of the gunmen had managed to take cover behind the smaller car while they'd been wasting time by talking, and had an almost clear shot to their hiding place. It was miracle that neither of them had been hit.

The shrill buzz in Lavi's ears rose to an almost painfully high pitch, and he couldn't help but hiss at the spikes of pain that pulsed though his head in time with his heartbeat. Maybe he'd really had it worse than he'd originally thought. Everything felt a little bleary, and his fingers were tingling as though they were numb. With a steadying breath he blinked the dark edges from his eyes, rising his gun up as he leant a little too heavily against the mashed car. The shots and Kanda's bellowing drowned out whatever sounds the man on the other side of the metal wreck might have made, but he knew he only had to wait. It wouldn't take more than few moments for the hitman to make his move…

And then, just like when grandpa had, for the very first time, turned off the lights of their old farm on New Year's night back when he'd still been a kid, and he'd seen the _stars_, it clicked. It wasn't a soundtrack to some silly 80's show. It was _sirens_.

A flicker of movement in the corner of his eyes, and the next thing Lavi knew was the distant _bang_ and the cool lawn rising up on his left side. Dully, he realized that there was pain somewhere on his body, and that someone was shouting on the top of their lungs. A lot of someones, actually. He thought he might have recognized Kanda's voice, too.

The last thing Lavi saw before the world flipped over was the blurry face of a blond woman hovering against the blue sky.

**XxX**

Allen might have sighed in light-headed relief when the swarm of police cars filled the street from all directions – or well, all_ possible_ directions – if he hadn't been too busy trying not to throw up on the dead men he used as a hiding place. Mana had taught him better than to defile the deceased, and he'd be damned if he started disregarding his manners _now_.

Also, notable amount of his concentration went into staying conscious, which was pretty much why he didn't even notice the arrival of the cavalry before they were completely surrounded.

He did, however, notice it when the thundering of the gunfire shifted into shouts of _'freeze', 'this is the police', 'lower your weapons', 'get on the ground'_ and the like. By the time he managed to lift his bounding head enough to see what was happening around him, Tyki's men were already grudgingly raising their hands in defeat. The Portuguese himself stood next to the car that was closest to Allen and appeared to be perfectly at peace with the situation. There was no sight of the gun he'd had just mere seconds ago. Or was it longer than that? Everything that had happened since they'd nearly died in the staircase seemed to be one big blur of movement and sound in Allen's head, and he had no inkling whatsoever how much time had passed between now and then. It could've been hours for all he knew.

"Get a medic here!" someone, a woman – yes, a woman – shouted somewhere on his right where the two cars had crashed some indefinite time ago. Where Kanda had been. Fear gripped his throat with a death grip and with growing horror he listened to the words that followed. "This one's bleeding!"

Kanda's name left his lips in a strangled whisper, panicked and desperate beyond reason, and before he knew it, Allen was scrambling up on his feet. Some little corner of his mind that wasn't awash with fear noted that he shouldn't be nearly so affected by the possibility of his owner being injured, but he hardly heard it as he stumbled over the corpses. The image of Kanda being hauled away, unconscious and bleeding, flashed in his memory and forced his legs to carry him across the twisting lawn.

A chorus of voices rose in alarmed shouts all around him, and through blurry eyes Allen saw people moving towards him. He blinked, staggering on his feet. Something slipped from his clammy fingers as the world started tilting upwards. Incoherent noise buzzing in his ears he felt his legs going heavy and week, and then he was lying on his side on the grass, head pounding, dizzy and about to throw up. Again, he might have added if he'd been lucid enough.

"_-er me?_ Can you hear me? Stay on the ground and don't move. Do you understand?" a voice said somewhere above him. Allen blinked trying to make his body to get up just to be pressed firmly against the lawn. "I said don't move."

His eyes focused onto something blue hovering on his left, and with difficulty he managed to swallow through the dryness in his mouth. "Kanda", Allen croaked out. "Where… is… he? I… I need…"

The blue splotch interrupted him. For some reason it sounded strangely a lot less gruff now. "You have a head wound and it is likely you suffer from some decree of concussion. Please, don't try to speak. Help is coming."

Desperate, Allen tried to force words past his lips, but could only manage a short, unintelligible noise which sounded kind of like a sick duck even to his own ears. The hand on his shoulder pressed a little harder, so he quieted and tried to stomach the way the world did backflips every few seconds. He was distantly aware of things happening around him, but couldn't for the life of him concentrate on anything enough to figure what was going on. After some time, it stopped mattering as everything became almost pleasantly hazy.

What felt like an eternity later, hands appeared on him, moving him, and Allen felt himself being lifted of the ground. Confused, he tried – rather thoughtlessly, if one thought about it – to push up again so he could see what was going on and where he was being taken. To his horror he found his whole body tied down, his arms and legs all but immobile. With a hoarse sound of panic, Allen started to struggle against the bindings, wildly trying to wriggle his way out of them.

What was happening? Where were they taking him? Memories rushed forward from the depths of his mind, hazed over with pain and time passed – or was the time yet to come? Was he rushing towards the scenes flickering before his eyes? No, please, no. Where was Kanda? Where was _Tyki_? They weren't taking him to the Portuguese, were they? What was going on? He couldn't go back to Tyki, not him, no_, no, he can't get me, he can't get me. I'm not letting him, he won't, he won't. Let me go. I won't let him get me, I won't let him. I'll kill him before he gets me again. I'll kill myself. I'll-_

"Moyashi! Allen!"

Kanda. It was Kanda. A strangled sound fell from his lips as he twisted his neck, horror and relief and then sickened horror again flooding through him in subsequent waves. He thought they'd gotten Kanda too, tied him down like they'd done to him and hurt him, but then at least he wasn't _alone_. Because Kanda was there. But if he was there, then they'd had to hurt him, and what kind of a person he was, feeling relief when Kanda was hurt?

"Allen! "

Then he saw the Japanese, bloody and half covered in bandages and trying to ward of two medics, obviously quite alive and not at all tied to anything. He wasn't really much more than a blurry figure in the middle of other blurry figures, just longer hair and different posture and Kanda's voice and Kanda's affinity for profanities, there for one fleeting moment before he vanished behind someone else. Less than color on a paper, yet more than just a whisper of a memory.

Relief washed over him, and Allen felt like crying.

_You're not alright_, the calm little part of his brain that had never lost control in any kind of situation – the part that used to be more of him than the scared and wary, easily panicked part which Tyki had brought forward – said in a reasonable voice. _You're not alright in the head, you know that? You're not supposed to like him. You're supposed to hate him. Or if not hate, then at least dislike. It's simple psychology. You don't start to fancy people who take your personhood from you. That's Stockholm Syndrome._

Allen might have smiled, tears, blood and memories forgotten. _I know_, he said. _I haven't been right in the head for a long time. Maybe never._ _And it definitely isn't alright to have a conversation with yourself._

_Myself._

The sky changed from blue to stark white, and Allen felt a little confused. _What?_ he thought.

_You should think 'myself', not 'yourself'_, the not quite a voice in his head explained_. And that is the roof of an ambulance. They just carried you in._

_I knew that,_ he thought.

_Of course you did. I'm you. The only reason this feels like you're insane and talking with someone in your head who isn't you, is because of the concussion. You're not _that_ crazy._

Well, maybe that was a good thing, then. Allen wasn't quite sure and his head felt too soft to really think clearly. He wished Kanda would've been there. For all his brusque and rude behavior and occasionally a little harsher than necessary treatment of Allen, the Japanese had been better to him than anyone since Mana. In his own strange and stoic way Kanda did, sort of, care about him. For the very least in a distant, abstract way people cared for someone who was a part of their life due to their responsibilities.

_There's the Stockholm Syndrome, again_, Allen thought, calmly.

Then: _I thought Stockholm Syndrome is about hostages and kidnappers. And Kanda didn't kidnap me._

Which might be true in principle. However, concerning the circumstances, it would probably count. After all, he _had_ been kidnapped, just for a very long time, and in essence Kanda was the last of his abductors. The fact that he'd done it for the right reason shouldn't have mattered yet. _That_ sort of thing is supposed to be helpful only _after_ he's started going to therapy.

Not that Allen was an expert.

Mana was, though.

Something prickled his arm. _Needle_, his mind whispered, but Allen hardly heard. He thought of Mana and memories of a life lived too long ago, and then he thought of Kanda and his own lost hopes. He wished –

The drug pulled him under before he could finish the thought.

**XxX**

**XxX**

Alright, I hope the next chapter will come a little faster, but I can't make any promises, sorry.


	21. Chapter 21

So it's been over a year. I won't go into detail and I won't give explanations. Just... sorry for the long wait. Go and read it. Longer notes at the end of the chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DGM, nor do I make any profit from this.

**Warnings:** Not really, no.

**Chapter 21**

**Where To Begin?**

**x  
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**XxX  
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**x  
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"So you've got the files coming?" Lenalee asked, putting her cell phone back into the small purse she had bought to replace the item-eating one (which most likely had a miniature wormhole inside it), before glancing at her friend and colleague. Lavi had his arm heavily bandaged and held against his chest by a sling, but otherwise there was little to indicate he'd been in a shooting incident barely two days ago.

"They came yesterday. I thought you knew", the red head said, his voice slightly surprised.

"No, I didn't", Lenalee said, frowning as she continued. "I've been dealing with the bureaucracy and the mess Leverrier created. I still don't know how he managed to deny our authorization without us getting any word of it", she continued tersely, her lips thinning as irritation and anger at the man who'd nearly killed Kanda swept over her.

Next to her, Lavi shrugged his uninjured shoulder. "I don't think that's our biggest problem", he said stepping ahead of her to push open the door to the long term ward. "If Leverrier got all our authorizations frozen, there's no way we can get Mikk convicted. And I don't want to think what that means to the kid."

Lenalee frowned harder. Sometimes she really wished she could get away with murder. "Well, he's going to the witness protection program anyway. It's not as though Mikk works alone. This is bigger than a simple human trafficking ring."

"Yeah", Lavi muttered with an uncharacteristic grimness. "Way bigger. I just hope that we _can_ protect him."

They turned to another blue-white corridor and continued in silence until they'd passed a small group of nurses gathered around a vending machine. The prostitute boy had been placed in a secluded section of the hospital, next to the personnel's rooms, so as to keep him better guarded. Only the staff – and now the police – came here, which made it easier to monitor people's comings and goings and notice if something or someone was out of place. She could only hope it was enough to protect the boy from Mikk.

But she'd digressed.

"You said the files came in already?" Lenalee asked once they were alone again, steering the conversation back on topic. Next to her Lavi hummed an affirmative, reaching up to scratch the edge of the bandage.

"Yeah. There was quite a bit more stuff than I was expecting", he said with a small shake of his head. "That kid really hasn't had it easy."

Lenalee glanced at the red head in mild surprise. "What do you mean by that?" she asked. Kanda had made it sound like the kid had been taken into prostitution when he was hardly a teenager. At that age very few people had any sort of police records, and most of the things that warranted a notion in such files… Her shoulders tensed and lips paled as she pressed them together.

Lavi threw a glance at her, hearing the strained note, and shrugged his good shoulder almost apologetically. "Well, it seems like he was found alone in London at the age of four by some good-hearted civilian, who took him to the authorities. From the looks of it, he'd been living in the streets for quite some time", the red head explained, and Lenalee felt something tightening around her chest. "Child abuse was suspected, but his parents were never found so it was dropped. The kid got adopted quickly, though. By the guy who found him, actually. Seems like there's still some good people out there", Lavi gave a humorless laugh.

Lenalee didn't say anything, flashes of old memories flickering through her head. Swiftly, _routinely_, she squashed the faintly fluttering hope that never failed to reawaken with even the most unlikely possibility – and all the possibilities were improbable to the extreme – and pressed her lips together.

'_He's dead',_ she thought, like she always did when this sort of situation arose.

Lavi either didn't notice the change in her mood or chose not to comment on it, his half-slouched posture staying the same as he continued. "It doesn't end there, though. Just before he disappeared – abducted, I'd reckon, albeit we haven't yet asked him for the details – anyway, the kid was assaulted."

Lenalee's hold on her purse tightened and Lavi shrugged his good shoulder again. "Apparently, he was on his way to home from school, cutting through some rundown park, when some drunkard – didn't read him up yet – attacked him with a knife. There weren't any serious injuries, although it was a close call. If the man had been a little closer, he would've taken an eye", the redhead explained, stopping next to an inconspicuous, white door and reaching for the handle. Not having realized where they were, Lenalee barely avoided walking into him. As it was, she stopped short few inches from collision, heart bounding a little too hard.

"Apparently the guy was so drunk that the kid managed to get away from him after the first strike", Lavi continued without a pause as he pushed the door open and stepped inside. Distractedly, Lenalee noted the room was some kind of laboratory. "Two months later he left for school and never came back. Gone without a trace, as they say."

'_He's dead',_ she repeated in her head but this time it was feeble and filled with doubt. It couldn't be – or could it?

"Lavi?" she said as she followed him to the door on the other side of the room, barely noticing the police officer sitting next to it in guard. Her voice sounded dazed in her own ears. "What was his name? I don't think you said that."

"His name?" the redhead repeated, throwing a look over his shoulder. There was a faint frown on his face, as though he'd finally caught on that there was something off with her. Lenalee paid it no mind, simply staring back at him. Her heart seemed to have relocated to her throat.

"Yes. What was it?"

Lavi turned to face the door and reached with his good hand to open it. "Walker", he said, and Lenalee wouldn't have been able to describe how she felt hearing that single word even if her life had depended on it. "Allen Walker."

**XxX**

Allen didn't know what to feel. Everything was just one big, incoherent _mess_ of questions and feelings he couldn't untangle, his thoughts repeating themselves over and over again in his head.

Mana was dead.

He was free.

Kanda was working for the police.

(Or well, something called the C.H.U.R.C.H. which had supposedly something to do with CIA and sounded like it was taken from a bad action movie.)

It was over.

They were going to sue Tyki.

They wanted him to witness.

Kanda was going to witness, too.

He wasn't property anymore.

Mana had died two years after his disappearance. On Christmas.

He was free.

Lenalee was here.

It was the last one which felt the most tangible, most likely since not two hours ago Lenalee – dear, sweet Lenelee who Allen could hardly recognize anymore – had burst into the room, taken one look at him and promptly thrown herself onto him, sobbing and yelling at the top of her lungs. She'd only stopped when Kanda had finally lost his temper and told her to shut it before the whole hospital came to see what the hell the ruckus was about, and they would have to move somewhere else.

After that she'd sat on a chair next to his bed, holding his hand and talking with a quiet, almost strained voice for nearly an hour. At first Allen had barely been able to concentrate on her words, too focused on her fingers, which seemed to burn his hand where she touched him, too delicate and _clean_ to bear upon his scar littered skin. Lenalee, however, had just kept going, relief colored words spilling from her lips, and eventually he'd unwound enough to actually _listen_.

She talked about what had happened after he disappeared, about how they'd kept looking for him even when the police had quit – about how it had all been in vain and they had never been able to find any trace of him, not a single lead, nothing. She told him how it had pushed her to the police force and then forward, until her own private war against kidnappers and human traffickers had brought her to the C.H.U.R.C.H. – and although she did not use those words, that was what it was, Allen knew.

He wasn't sure how he felt about her going that far just because of him.

However, like all nice things usually did, her mindless chatter about everything and nothing came to a screeching halt when Allen asked the one question that had flared up in his mind the moment he realized that she was _there_.

Mana.

Mana who was dead.

Lenalee had cried, a little, and been so _sorry_. And Allen had sat silently as she'd told him how Mana had slowly lost health with every day he'd remained missing, until his heart had given away.

She would probably still be there if it wasn't for Kanda practically throwing her out. Or well, telling Lenalee that they had a doctor coming to do checkups and Lavi needed to explain the specifics of the situation. Not true, but then again, Allen hadn't called him up on it.

In all honesty, he'd been just so _relieved_ to have her _stop_.

Although Lenalee hadn't seemed to notice the lie, Lavi had glanced at Kanda once, curiously, before throwing a laid-back grin at Allen. The red head had explained what had been going on ever since he'd arrived at Kanda's doorstep all those weeks ago, patching up all the blank spots that the Japanese man's version had left behind.

It still felt unreal.

So now he was lying on his hospital bed, staring at the opposite wall and turning everything over in his head. Uselessly, it seemed. He could hardly believe he'd somehow ended up in an _experimental_ _covert operation_ to expose a human trafficking ring, much less wrap his mind around the fact he was _free_. And Mana – Mana just felt like the kind of nightmare you never woke up from.

Allen wished he'd just cry. Maybe then the hollow pressure inside of him would ease, at least a little.

"Oi, Moyashi."

Kanda's voice was like shattering class in the silence, abrupt and jarring. Allen closed his eyes.

"I have a name, you know", he said, quietly.

There was a pause, just a bit too long, and then he could hear the rustle of sheets as Kanda shifted on his own nondescript hospital bed. "Allen", came the man's voice again, and although having Kanda really use his name was anything but expected to say the least, a greater surprise still was the fact that he actually sounded… _uncertain_.

Blinking, Allen turned to look at his ex-owner.

Kanda was sitting with his back ramrod straight against the headboard, knees slightly bent under the covers and hands resting in his lap. Every line in his body screamed tension, and instead of facing Allen, he was staring doggedly ahead.

The silence stretched on.

"Kanda?" Allen finally asked after a good few minutes had passed without another word from the man. "What is it?"

Kanda's head jerked to the side sharply, and with a faint frown Allen watched as his fingers curled around the edge of the sheet, fisting it tightly in his hands. "I…", he started haltingly, voice oddly strained. "…don't suppose… that it really matters to you", Kanda finally said, and Allen got the impression that wasn't what he'd been going to say at first. "But…"

"But?" he prompted when it seemed like the man was about to lapse into silence again. However, instead of continuing Kanda closed his eyes, lips pressed tightly together, and visibly seemed to collect himself.

Starting to feel worried, Allen turned to face the man more fully.

"It's a matter of pride to me", Kanda eventually said, opening his eyes, though still not meeting Allen's. "Pride and honor. I'm not some innocent, law-abiding philanthropist, though", he went on, scoffing. "I've done my share of crimes, so don't get me wrong. I can beat up a guy within an inch of his life and feel nothing for him. But…"

Kanda halted his speech again, not quite hesitating yet not entirely sure of himself either, and in the lull of silence that followed, Allen suddenly realized that he wasn't scared anymore. In the past – heck, barely a _week_ ago – hearing his owner – _his owner!_ – admit to having no qualms about beating someone half to death would have been enough to freeze him with fear, or at the very least, throw him into a bout of utter subservience for the next fortnight. Now, though, Kanda's words didn't even make him nervous. There was only the growing concern over the man's unusual mien and faint curiosity about what could be important enough for him to make him talk through his obvious reluctance.

'_He won't hurt me'_, Allen thought, startled at his own certainty. Sure, Kanda had never truly hurt him; as far as physical discipline went, the worst he'd ever done was their few so-called sparring matches and Allen had only ever received a couple of bruises from them. Even the psychological games – if they could even be called that – which Kanda had had to initiate in an attempt to get him to talk, hadn't actually caused him any real _damage_, although he hadn't enjoyed them. Yet – that shouldn't have been anywhere near enough to make him _trust_ Kanda.

And Allen did trust him. Not unconditionally, but still more than he'd trusted anyone else since the day he'd walked into a side alley to help a girl free his dog from a barbed fence and found out the hard way that people _did_ get kidnapped in board daylight.

More than anyone since _Mana_.

"There are some things -", Kanda's voice broke the silence, drawing Allen out of his thoughts. "- that are… wrong. What I did to you – it's despicable", he said, and even through the carefully blank tone the traces of self-loathing were more than clear. Half in shock, Allen could do nothing but stare at the man dumbly.

"I am _not_ asking you to… _forgive_", Kanda continued, his shoulders as rigid as his voice. "I don't have the right to. But… damn it all to hell, whatever's left of my honor demands this, and anyway, it's what you deserve."

Stunned, Allen stared as Kanda swung his legs over the edge of the bed, obviously trying not to wince as the movement jarred his half-healed wounds, and then bent forward, hands on his knees in an awkward sitting bow. Mentally grasping for the straws, Allen opened his mouth to say something, anything, only to find his voice missing. Before he had the time to get his bearings, Kanda was talking again.

"For whatever pain or discomfort I've caused, for disgracing and shaming you, I apologize", he intoned, and the formality of his speech threw Allen for a loop all anew. This just wasn't something Kanda _did_. "I doubt it matters much, but it did not bring me any joy to do what I did. It's not an excuse –"

"No!" he snapped out suddenly, sharply, surprising himself as much as Kanda. His heart – or maybe it was his stomach – had climbed up his throat and there was a sickening tug just below his navel, screaming at him that this was _wrong_, somehow. Weight on his shoulders, pressure against his lungs – Allen couldn't listen to this. "No, Kanda, stop", he breathed out, almost soft compared to the outburst mere seconds ago. "Stop."

Trying to pull his scattered thoughts together, he pushed up until he was sitting properly instead of just being propped up against the pillows. Kanda hadn't moved, and Allen craned his neck to catch the man's gaze. "Don't. There's nothing to apologize for", he said, trying to read the emotions in the dark eyes staring back at him. "You don't… You've been kind to me, Kanda. You _have_", he repeated at the almost incredulous look Kanda cast his way. "So don't apologize. And _please_, lay down before you manage to open your wounds!"

The last part was delivered with a borderline hysterical snort of laughter Allen wasn't quite quick enough to repress. A frown etched itself onto Kanda's face as he straightened up from the half-bow, his nearly black eyes suddenly boring into Allen with intensity that had him turning away swiftly.

He was such a _mess_.

"Really, Kanda", Allen managed, his heart playing yo-yo between his ribcage and throat. He was supposed to hate the man, he knew that, and maybe there was a part of him that _did_ – but mostly, he just _wanted_… "There's really no need for… this."

"Che…" Kanda snorted, closing his eyes. "What I've done to you, isn't called _kindness_, baka Moyashi."

Allen curled his fingers in the sheets, head lowered. "What you've done to me -", he repeated Kanda's words, voice steady "- you've done to help me. Indirectly or not. And you did not make it unpleasant to me."

'_It's not you who should be apologizing, but me who should be thanking.'_

"Oh, for fuck's sake", Kanda growled out, jerking his head in frustration. "I forced you to have sex with me! You're what? Fifteen? I'm twenty-one. That isn't _helping_, it's goddamn pedophilia!"

There was disgust and self-hatred and something that sounded like pity in the words, and Allen fisted the fabric between his fingers tighter. "You never… hurt me", he said, not looking at Kanda. "And I'm eighteen. Besides it was your job, so –"

"Doesn't make it right!" Kanda snapped. "I used you and you had no choice but to go along with it! Goddamn –"

He kept talking, but Allen didn't hear anymore.

_I used you_. _I used you. I used you…_

Something snapped.

"So I was just _going along with it_ that last time?" he retorted, cutting Kanda off. He was angry, he was hurt, and he couldn't just _let_ that damn BaKanda think that he was… he was… "Did it _really_ seem like that to you?"

"Just because I didn't physically manhandle you, doesn't mean you had any choice!" Kanda snapped, not missing a beat.

"I _started_ it!" Allen threw back, voice rising. "I didn't have to, I could've kept silent, but _I started it_! That's not exactly _forcing_!"

"For fuck's sake, you've been a prostitute since you were twelve!" Kanda yelled. "You did things because you thought there was a chance that I might have hurt you if you didn't! That's the only -!"

"_I'm not weak!_"

Silence. Kanda's eyes were dark and startled, and Allen felt his hands trembling. Shakily, he drew in a breath.

"I'm not weak", he repeated, all ire gone as suddenly as it had come. "I can… I don't… I did that because I _wanted to_, not because I was afraid. Just don't… _don't_ take that from me."

"You… wanted…?"

Allen's silence was as good as an answer. With a quiet snort Kanda looked away and closed his eyes.

"You're an idiot."

_I know_, Allen almost said. Instead, he fixed his eyes to the white wall and thought of Mana who was dead, Lenalee whom he didn't know anymore, and himself, lost under _survival_ for so long he didn't think he could ever again truly be the person - the boy – he used to be. And maybe he didn't really want to, because that boy was nothing without Mana and all that _Mana_ was, was numb emptiness waiting inside.

"Lavi said –", Allen started again, "- that I'd be put into the witness protection program. Can it…? Do you think it'll be enough to keep Tyki from finding me?"

He didn't look at Kanda as the man shifted to lay back down on the bed, not sure if he really even wanted the answer. The rustling of sheets stopped and for a long moment there was nothing but silence between them.

"Hell if I know."

Mana was dead.

And Allen was free.

**XxX**

"- should be in order. Oh and we finally managed to identify the woman who was sent to the apartment. Shot the camera there, did I tell you that already? Anyway, her name's Lulu Bell. Born in Canada, no recorded relatives. We're thinking that she's the one who shot Suman and Toma, but there's no evidence. Anyway, do you recognize the name, Allen?"

Lavi looked hopefully at the pale boy sitting on the other couch and had to stifle a sigh when he shook his head.

"Sorry, no."

"You sure? Tall, long blonde hair, pretty?"

Lavi ignored Kanda's snort as he watched Allen carefully for any signs of recognition. Nothing showed on his face and after a moment of thinking the boy shook his head again. "No. There were never that many women around and most of them were Asian, I think."

Well, damn. "She'll walk free, then. Nothing we can do about it."

"Che."

"I'm sorry."

"Do-"

"Not your fault."

Lavi blinked, closing his mouth, and shot Kanda a curious look. This got to be the first time he ever heard Kanda attempting to console _anyone_.

Not that Allen looked very convinced.

"Kanda's right, you know", he said. "It's not your fault. For all we know, she didn't even work with Mikk when… you were with him. Don't worry about it." Lavi dished out his best supportive smile and hoped against hope that Allen hadn't noticed the slight hesitation between his words. To his relief, it seemed like he hadn't.

From the sharp glare sent his way, though, it was apparent that Kanda _had_.

Interesting.

"Well, anyway. Here are all the papers you need to read", Lavi moved on with the conversation, snatching up a folder from the mess of papers spread on the coffee table and handing it over to Allen. "There's your new identity and all the relevant information you need to know beforehand. Name, age, brief history, some general instructions on how to keep your story together – those kinds of things."

Allen took the folder and opened it as though expecting it to turn into something poisonous. Shooting a half-amused, half-sympathetic glance at him, Lavi fished another folder from the table. Not looking up, he chucked it at Kanda, who caught it with one hand.

"What's this?"

"The best we could do. Read it."

_He's not going to like it…_

Lavi bit back a grin.

"Neal Murray?"

Startled from his thoughts by the quiet question, Lavi turned to look at Allen who was staring blankly at the first document in his folder. Next to the ostentatious fireplace Kanda stilled.

"Yeah, that's your new name", Lavi confirmed, not quite certain what the matter was. "Your father was from Northern Ireland, hence the name, while your mother was American. They met in London, got married and then your mother died in childbirth. You and your father moved to the States when you were ten."

Blinking, Allen looked up at him. "But… why? Isn't it… too complicated?"

"Well, you see", Lavi started, raising his uninjured hand to scratch his cheek. "It's easier to hide you if you've got the citizenship of the States since your birth. Less paper trail and so on. So we gave you an American mother. It'd be best if you didn't have any relations to other countries on paper, but unfortunately for us, you still talk like a Brit. So you had to come from England. The Irish father is just because of some freaky loophole in the bureaucracy that makes it easier to set up false identities. You'd need to ask Johnny about that."

"Oh, alright."

Allen fell silent again, and Lavi took up a stack of papers to fiddle with as he made a mental note to get Gramps to arrange a psychological examination for Allen as soon as there was time – and with someone they could trust. However, what _really_ interested him was Kanda. It was almost as if his friend actually cared about the boy on a personal level, which in and off itself was all around a mind-boggling thought. To think that _Yuu Kanda_ -

"What the hell?!"

And oh, yeah. He'd totally forgotten about _that_.

"Usagi!"

Lavi grinned. Riling Kanda up just never got old. "Well, obviously you're going to need to get off the radar too, Yuu-chan! We wouldn't want Mikk going after you either!"

"Don't call me that!"

His grin widened. "Right, sorry. Yukio-chan!"

"Shut up! That's not my goddamn name!"

"Actually, it is. And I've got all the papers to prove it!"

"Fuck you! Who chose the name?! Who the hell was it?! I swear if you had anything to do with this, I'll skewer you with Mugen!"

Seeing that Kanda was already reaching for his beloved sword – slung over his back in a simple scabbard – Lavi decided it was time to ward off the oncoming violence. He'd had his fun – for now.

"It was Tiedoll", he said and when Kanda's hand froze, quickly added: "Lenalee thought we should let him choose from the final list, him being your dad and all."

Although Kanda's scowl didn't abate in the least, he at least refrained from drawing Mugen and starting a rampage. Lavi counted that as a definite success. It wasn't everyday that he managed to thwart an oncoming assault with just a few words, even if they did include "Lenalee" and "Tiedoll".

"Um… what?" Allen asked.

"Well -", Lavi started, trying not to grin like the Cheshire cat, "- the thing is, Kanda's going to need a new life too. There's no doubt that Mikk will go after him, since in addition to owning you, Kanda also worked for the police. Mikk will want to secure all loose ends."

Allen blinked at that and looked horribly guilty all of a sudden. "I… I didn't… realize…" he said haltingly, probably thinking it was his fault that Kanda's life was going to be rebooted. Lavi wanted to grimace. Truth be told, forcing Kanda to cut all ties with his past was just about the best thing that could happen to him, even if it made contact between him and his family more than difficult. The problem was, how the hell was Lavi supposed to get the kid to believe that?

"Wipe that damn look off your face. It's not like I have anything I can't leave behind."

…and it seemed like he didn't even have to. Again. Well, wasn't this meeting full of surprises.

"But…" Allen stared at Kanda in apparent confusion, hesitating. "What about… your father? Tiedoll?"

"All the better if I can get rid off the geezer", Kanda snorted in reply, rolling his eyes. Lavi felt like mimicking him. The sky could be falling down on them and Kanda still wouldn't admit to caring about his adoptive father.

"You -" Allen started, a look of shocked outrage spreading on his face. "You – how can you say something like that? He's your father! Your father! You would just – just –", he sputtered, hands jerking angrily, and Lavi felt his eyebrows climbing up. The kid had just pulled a total one-eighty in a matter of seconds. With his latest owner. Just what the hell was going on between these two?

"It's not like he's actually my father or anything", Kanda retorted, scowling at Allen who didn't seem at all fazed with the irritated glower directed at him. "Just an idiot who picks up strays and good-for-nothings, thinking he can 'make the world a better place' or some shit like that. I don't give a damn."

_That what you think about yourself, Kanda?_

Lavi didn't actually say it – would never say it – but he damn as hell wished he could've. He'd known there were a lot of things Kanda didn't like about himself, but to say that – no matter how indirectly – about himself? It almost made Lavi regret bringing up his name when they were planning the operation. Almost.

He had a feeling about this, though…

Allen, however, seemed to have missed the point.

"So he took you in and _this_ is how you repay him?" he demanded indignantly, the papers in his hands crinkling as his grip tightened on them. "You're the most ungrateful, arrogant -!"

"Okay, okay!" Lavi interrupted the tirade, hands held up placatingly. He seriously didn't need this to spiral into a shouting match. "Let's not start a fight, alright? I'm sure Kanda didn't mean it quite like that."

"Yeah, I did."

"You-!"

Lavi breathed heavily and as he raised his voice to cut off the quarrel, cursed Leverrier and their current lack of budget. How the _hell_ was he supposed to tell these two that they were going to be living together from now on?

**x**

**XxX  
**

**x  
**

So that was the last chapter. Only the epilogue to go. Let's hope it won't take another year.

At this point, I feel the need to say a few things about this chapter and the story in general. First of all, the scene with Allen and Kanda in the hospital? I realize many may feel that Kanda is acting out of character - which he might very well be doing - but in my opinion, it's justified. Throughout the story I've tried to emphasize the fact that _Kanda does not like what he has to do to Allen_. He's not a person with very high morals, in fact he's a bordel line criminal, but he does have a sense of _honor _and there are some things that he thinks are just plain _wrong_, no matter the situation. Sexually abusing children is one of them. (And let's face it guys, that's _exactly_ what he does, even if it's to ultimate help Allen.)

Also, it never actually comes clear from the story itself (I think), but in my mind, Kanda was born in Japan and lived his early childhood there, before Tiedoll at some point adopted him. Hence his honor and the sort of a moral code thing that floats just out of sight.

This chapter clears up the most important part of Allen's past, and that will be it. I'm not going to give a more detailed story, because frankly it's not important. He switched owners five/six times or something like that, and really the only ones relevant to the story are Tyki and Cross. Cross not so much, except for the fact that he's a bit bizarre and never actually had sex with Allen. (I think it's mentioned in the story itself somewhere in the earlier chapters.)

On another note, if some of my readers actually care about the plot (_W__hat_ are you doing reading this monster?), I realize there are _several_ plot holes the size of a skyscraper or two in this story. Most of this is unrealistic or otherwise portrayed in such a way. I know that. It's part of the reason why this last chapter took so long. If I ever have the energy, I will do at least a cursory rewrite to smooth things out. Don't hold your breath, though.

But anyway, if you have any questions or want to point out some so outrageous mistake/plothole that it simply can't be left alone, just put them in the comments. I'll see what I can do to explain/fix/do something about it.

And that's all, I think.


	22. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**On Its Own Time**

**x**

**XxX**

**x**

The day was sunny and cold, the snow-covered street all but empty. Shifting the cell phone against his ear, Kanda stared at the old brick building on the other side of the street and frowned. Allen was late – and the car was starting to get cold.

"_You can make it work, you know that?"_ Lavi said on the other end of the line, voice almost careful. Kanda frowned harder and remained silent.

"_You know I'm as sorry as you are about the way things turned out, but hell, no one saw Leverrier coming. And I know you won't leave him, so…"_ Lavi's tone changed into something that could have been helplessness and frustration if it had been anyone else. _"You _can_ make it work. It's not like… He _trusts_ you, you do know that? He's never going to trust anyone the way he trusts you."_

Kanda's fingers tightened around the phone and he was only half aware of the derisive snort that left his throat.

"_Kanda, it's not-"_

"Shut up", he finally muttered.

"_You'd never hurt him",_ Lavi said quietly, and wasn't that just laughable.

"I already have."

"_Not the way everyone else has. You care about him."_

And that was the problem, wasn't it? Because he wanted what Lavi suggested and _that_ - that made him feel sick. Just not sick enough to _stop_ wanting it, and anything less than that simply wasn't…

"Doesn't make it right."

"_Why?"_ Lavi asked as if they weren't talking about Allen at all, and Kanda opened his mouth to snarl about _consent_ and _pressuring_ and _rape_ but Lavi wasn't stopping. _"I know what you think, and you're _wrong_, Kanda. Maybe if you were someone else, I'd consider his trust to be misplaced or unwise, but I _know_ you and I know you'll never use that trust against him."_

"So what do you consider _forcing myself onto him_ to be, then?" Kanda practically sneered.

"_You wouldn't respect it if he said no?"_ Lavi asked, voice carefully free of sarcasm.

"He _won't say_ n-"

"_He will",_ Lavi cut him off flatly._ "If he really doesn't want to. You think he'd agree out of some sense of obligation, but if that was true, wouldn't he then agree to everything? And don't try to tell me he's never said no to you."_

Kanda opened his mouth, realized the only thing he could think to say was _it's different_ like some spoiled little brat, and settled for frowning instead because if he though about it, Lavi was right. Allen had stopped being careful around him years ago, and whatever guilt or gratefulness he'd held for Kanda after finding out who he was – well, it didn't stop the Moyashi from playing dirty if that's what it took to get him out of washing the dishes.

Still…

Lavi sighed.

"_It's been seven years, Kanda. People heal - and Allen's stronger than he seems. All I'm saying is that you should stop stalling and _try_. It might work or it might not, but you won't know until you see for yourself."_

"I-", Kanda started to say, only to be interrupted by sharp rapping. Blinking in surprise, he found Allen peering through the window at him, gloved knuckles resting against the glass. The make up covering Allen's scar had faded somewhat and a few white hairs peeked from under a blue knit cap that had obviously been put on in haste.

"_Kanda?"_

"I have to go", he finished, not waiting for Lavi's answer as he disconnected the call and reached to unlock the door.

Allen got in, an inquisitive look in his gray eyes as he watched Kanda start the car. "Who was that?" he asked, frowning ever so slightly. "You looked like it was something serious."

"Just Lavi", Kanda grunted, eyes on the street as he turned the car around to get them in the right direction. "And not really. They've still managed to keep track of Mikk."

"Oh. That's good", Allen said, averting his eyes for a moment, and Kanda felt a rush of utter hatred at the man who'd once made Allen's life hell. _Six years_ in prison was _not_ enough time for what that bastard had done. If he ever saw Leverrier again, he was going to behead the man for screwing them up. Without him, they would've been able to put Mikk away for the rest of his life.

If he ever saw _Mikk_…

"Well -", Allen cut off his rather morbid daydream, eyes flickering back to him, "- how is everybody doing? Did he tell?"

"Wouldn't shut up", Kanda growled and watched a small grin tug at the corner of Allen's mouth at hearing the irritation in his voice. "Lenalee this, Daisya that. Fucking Tiedoll wants to actually have us at the goddamn _Christmas party_!"

Allen's smile widened, the shadows in his eyes receding as he pressed for more news, and Kanda really wanted nothing more than to kiss him for the first time in seven years.

Maybe he could make this work.

Maybe.

**x**

**XxX**

**x**

That's it, then. Property is done. My first finished, full-length fanfic. And man, am I ashamed of it... -_-' Don't get too shocked if you one day notice I've removed it. This thing shouldn't be allowed, but since there seems to be a rather large portion of people who actually _like_ it... Well, I know how it feels when writers delete stories I've really enjoyed because "they aren't good enough". So, Property's going to stay up for now.

**Anyway**, let's quit with the whining and get to the point! You people are all amazing. I mean, this has over **700** comments! O_o I love you and I never would have been able to get this far without the more or less steady trickle of comments and support - which I don't really deserve what with my updating schedule. Hugs to everyone!

To possibly clear a few things up with the epilogue. 1) Yes, I skipped seven years_. _2) Yes, Kanda and Allen have been living together for those seven years... sort of undercover. At least very low profile. 3) _No_, they haven't been in a relationship. During the _seven years_ that they've been living together, practically married for all intents and purposes... 4) _Yes,_ Kanda can be a stubborn idiot. Especially when honor is in question. 5) Yes, Mikk got convicted - though, in my head I imagine it's because Lavi managed to pin him with tax evasion or something, since Leverrier managed to royally screw them up. 6) Also, depending on how long his trial took, he's either already out of prison or is soon going to be. 7) No, that does not mean I'm writing a sequel. If I ever thouch Property again, it'll be a rewrite. A _t__horough_ rewrite. 8) And yeah, they do get their happy ending.


End file.
